"Sometimes, One Man Is All It Takes."	Army of One (1993) Directed by: Vic Armstrong Approx. Running Time: 105 minutes Rating: Rated R Listing on the A.K.A. Page: CLICK HERE A Second Opinion: Doug Pratt's DVD Review Buy it on DVD at: Amazon.com or Movies Unlimited My Rating:

Wellman Anthony Santee- Dolph Lundgren! Man framed for the murder of a highway patrolman by Lt. Frank Severance. What's worse is that Severance has also killed Santee's best friend Eddie. Santee escapes police custody and uses his uncanny driving, shooting, and martial arts abilities to bring Severance to justice.

Eddie- Ken Foree! Yeah the name doesn't sound familiar does it? But you know him! He played Peter in George A. Romero's Dawn of the Dead! He's gunned down by Lt. Severance but makes regular appearances in Santee's flashbacks.

Lt. Frank Severance- George Segal! Better known as Jack Gallo on "Just Shoot Me." Though I consider him to be miscast for the role, he was a pretty good bad guy. Severance is a heartless killing machine that's hellbent on murdering all those who know about his dirty deals with Jimmy Shoeshine. He's brought to justice in the end by Santee.

Rita Marrick- Kristian Alfonso! Female cop that Santee kidnaps. As she learns more about his innocence, she begins to fall in love with the big lug. She helps Santee survive and take down Severance.

Mike Agnos- Rita's ex-boyfriend and fellow police officer. While trying to help apprehend Santee he gets in Severance's way. The penalty for doing so was a point blank shot to the head.

Rudy- No it's not Sean Astin! He's Severance's right hand man in crime. After making an off color racial remark about Eddie, Rudy's neck is broken by Santee. (Quick side note: This actor played Sheriff Ben Meeker in "Halloween 4" and "Halloween 5.")

Jimmy Shoeshine- Michael Paul Chan! Smuggler of exotic sports cars. Gets blown away by Severance. (Yet another Quick side note: He was Data's father in "The Goonies!" You can see him in last year's flick, "Spy Game.")

Army of gun-toting Chinamen- Fodder for Santee.

Wow, what an all-star cast! Two horror movie veterans, a soap opera actress, a sitcom actor, a guy who's had a bit part in nearly ever Batman sequel (and in Goonies!), and of course Dolph Lundgren. I'd also like to point out that the actor playing the minor role of Sheriff Cepeda has starred in nearly a hundred films including, Moon of the Wolf, Double Impact, Only the Strong, and Trilogy of Terror II. Impressive cast here folks! But enough about who's in the movie, you're probably wondering what this flick is about right? Sure, why not! The movie begins with Santee and Eddie speeding down a desert highway in a sixteen wheeler. They get pulled over by a highway patrolman who soon demands to see what they are hauling. As Santee sits inside the truck, he sees a black car pull up ahead. Whoever was in said car walks to the back of the rig and shoots both the highway cop and Eddie.
Santee runs to the rescue, and receives a bullet in his arm after witnessing the double homicide. Nine months later, Santee is released from a prison hospital (for a gunshot to the arm?) and sent to serve the remaining thirty years of his sentence in a state prison. As he's being transported, the two guards that are escorting him pull into a secluded spot. Before they can kill him, Santee ingeniously escapes but still ends up with a gunshot wound. Santee spends the night in the desert, getting water by scooping up some wet send in his shirt and squeezing the water out of it (an alternative to getting water from a cactus I guess). The next morning, Santee arrives in a small town, kidnaps Rita, and escapes in her truck.
In a suspiciously short amount of time, Lt. Frank Severance and his cohort Rudy are on Santee's trail. For future reference, they are responsible for framing Santee. In the meantime, Rita slowly but surely discovers that Santee, though not the nicest guy, is actually innocent of his crimes, and tries to tag along with her captor. Santee soon hatches a plan to get some money and take down Severance all at the same time but he doesn't want Rita to get involved any further. He leaves her in the middle of nowhere and then drives over to Severance's house. While there, Santee forces Esther (Frank's slutty wife) to call Jimmy Shoeshine. While he's on the phone, Rita shows up after hitchhiking and "commandeering" a motorcycle. They escape in one of Severance's sports cars while Esther chases after them with a shotgun (Esther Get Your Gun)!
Santee then drives to a warehouse in the middle of the desert to meet up with Jimmy Shoeshine. Now the whole reason Santee is out for vengeance is given right here. Apparently Santee and Eddie were hauling stolen "exotic cars" to Jimmy Shoeshine, who would sell them for profit. Severance got in on the deal to serve as police protection for the asian crime lord. Upon arrival, Santee handcuffs Rita to a fence and proceeds to sneak into the warehouse and wipe out an army of gun-toting Chinamen! How one man can take on sixty others and not get shot is beyond me.
He must have a forcefield around him or perhaps the Chinese have bad aim? (Of course it could be the same phenomenon I've witnessed in countless Stallone and Schwarzenegger films too.) In any case, Santee forces Jimmy Shoeshine to open a safe and take out all the money. Moments later, Severance and Rudy arrive at the warehouse to take out Santee. What those two didn't count on was Michael. He's been trying to rescue his beloved Rita since she was kidnapped. Unfortunately he came at a bad time and gets a bullet in the head, courtesy of Severance. More police arrive on the scene and Severance tells them that Santee murdered Michael. Rita having witnessed everything, finally breaks free from the fence and runs down to tell her fellow officers what really happened.
She runs inside the warehouse and arrests Santee so that she can help him out. Severance shouts to the other officers that it's all a trick and they all open fire. Santee and Rita escape in the sports car and hide out under a bridge for a while. This leads to a sexual scene that's ended by a passing train (I assumed it was a sexual metaphor but alas it wasn't). Santee hides the briefcase of money under said bridge then hops in the car with Rita in an attempt to leave the desert (Joshue Tree to be more exact). The police, led by Severance in a black sports car, are soon on Santee's tail. Though his driving skills prove to be too much for the police to handle, Santee just can't shake Severance. This is (thankfully) the final car chase scene of the movie. Car enthusiasts would love this but it didn't excite me much.
Actually movies involving lots of car chases aren't that exciting to me in general. The only one I really liked was The Blues Brothers and that isn't really classified by many as a car chase film (but of course I beg to differ). Anyways, Santee drives off the road and up a mountainside, where he and Rita hide out. Unfortunately both Santee and Rita are caught and held at gunpoint. They're both about to die until Rita tells Rudy and Severance to "STOP!" She tells them that they will never get the briefcase of cash if she and Santee are murdered. Of course the bad guys fall for this and Santee takes them up to a rocky cliff. As he climbs up a rocky crag, he grabs two handfuls of sand.
Santee suddenly spins around and tosses the sand into the eyes of his would-be murderers and proceeds to pulverize them. While this is all going on, Sheriff Cipeda finds out that Severance was responsible for Mike Agnos' murder, not Santee. How'd he discover this? Well it was all recorded on the surveillance tapes at Jimmy Shoeshine's warehouse (So anyone can watch Mike get his head blown off in four different angles). The Sheriff arrives in time to stop Santee from killing Severance, arrests both men, and the movie is over. Wait, WHAT?! So what happens to Santee? Is he acquitted? And what about the briefcase of cash that he hid? Did the production run out of funding? Did the writer quit at this point? Or did these ideas seem too trivial to the director? Whatever the reason, this movie technically has no ending.

Rita: "So what'd you do? Your crime I mean, something serious?"
Santee: "Turned away from Jesus. What're you, from People Magazine?!"

Rudy: "You like him?!"
Severance: "I always liked him. But I'm gonna kill 'im."

Santee: "You can open the safe with your balls or without 'em."
Jimmy: "First choice."

Santee: "Should've split the money."
Rudy: "F*ck you!"