Erap's Prayer:
Gambling father who art in jueteng
hakot be thy name
thy kickback come
Thy wealth be done,
in Wack-Wack as it is in San Juan.
Give me this day My daily bribe
And conceal all my sins
As I conceal those who sin along with me
And if I am led into temptation
Deliver me from criticism
For mine is the country,
its power, and its money
forever and ever
amen.
Response:
Aba Ginoong Estrada
Napupuno ka ng kwarta
Ang panginoon ng jueteng ay sumasaiyo
Bukod kang pinagpala sa lahat ng bobo
At pinagpala ka naman ng kay raming kulasisi mo.
Erap's Mi ultimo Adios:
Mi parte de jueteng wala na.
Mis compadres y lords nabuking na.
Los mansiones de mis queridas ini-imbistiga
Mis amigos de la Camara el ultimo pagasa.
SIMILARITY OF AIDS
Macoy: Acquired Income Deposited in Switzerland
Erap: Acquired Income Delivered by Singson.
In a cabinet meeting... Erap (galit na galit) There
have been a lot of allegations these days, and I would like to know who
the ALLIGATORS are!
IQ check...
Q: Why can't Erap resign?
A: Because that would be one intelligent thing to do.
PAL pilot before landing:
Mr. President, we have begun our descent to NAIA. Please fasten your zipper and
return "Weng" to her upright position.
Q: Kung ang tawag kay Marcos ay diktador, ano kay
Erap?
A: Eh, di kubrador.
Reporter: Mr. President, how do you keep your women
happy?
Erap: Pa sing - sing lang yan. Konting romansing and a lot of housing.
Nasa simbahan ka. Pagtingin mo sa tabi mo for the
Sign of Peace ay si Erap pala. Ano ang gagawin mo?
Magpakatotoo ka. Ngumiti ka at sabihin mo. "Impeach be with you."
Q: Why is the Philippines a banana republic?
A: Because it has a sagging economy and a monkey for a president.
ERAP: Akyat kang puno, pisilin mo ang bunga kung
hinog na.
FPJ: (Umakyat at pinisil ang bunga.) Oo, pare, hinog na!
ERAP: Sige, baba ka na, sungkitin natin!
ERAP: (Caught two employees naked and doing their
thing in the office. Aha, violating office regulations!
MALE: Which regulation, Sir?
ERAP: (Thinks.) NOT WEARING UNIFORM!
Ano ang special feature ng cell phone ni ERAP? May
Call Jueteng!!!
Erap on his last day in office with his cabinet
members:
"Before I go, I want to treat all of you to a place you all like very
much..."
Mercado said, "We all want to go to a topless bar."
So he took them to a bar without the roof...
Erap delivering speech at the mental hospital.
Inmates shouting: Mabuhay si ERAP!
PSG seeing one guy not cheering: Bakit di ka sumabay sa kanila?
Guy: Di ako sira ulo. Janitor ako!
Tumatakbo si ERAP galing computer room na sinusundan ng staff:
"Sir bakit
ka tumatakbo?"
Erap: Tatakas ako, sabi kasi ng computer 'press Ctrl then Escape'.
Araw ng dalaw kay
Erap:
Lunes - Loi
Martes - Guia
Miyerkules - Laarni
Huwebes - Joy
Biyernes - Weng
Sabado - John Osmena
Linggo - Ernie Maceda
