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Phil's Hockey Draft Views and Reviews. Yowza!

Round 9

Round 5

G - Jeff O'Neill, C, Carolina: I think it's a bit early for O'Neill, but I can't knock this pick too much. So I won't.
Joe - Mike Leclerc, LW, Anaheim: Ugggh.
Riley - Chris Pronger, D, St. Louis: He's out for the beginning of the year with an injury, but no matter. When he comes back, he'll be a force to be reckoned with. He always is.
Rob - Luc Robitaille, LW, Detroit: Another one? When will it end? It should have ended before this. Way too early for Lucky Luc.
Phil - Patrik Elias, LW, New Jersey: See, Rob? Elias! He's fantastic, and you could have had him. But you were blinded by a red light and a flying octopus.
Stefan - Glen Murray, RW, Boston: There shall be a heavy load on Glen's shoulders this year, with Guerin in Dallas. Did Stefan know this? No. He's up there, going on about chlorophyll.
Mike - Brian Rolston, C, Boston: Too early? Maybe. Is this pick a bad one? Certainly not.
Matt - Roman Cechmanek, G, Philadelphia: He gets a great regular season goalie for his second netminder, at the end of the 5th round. Dare I say, a steal.
Winners: Everyone but the following two
Losers: Rizzob and Jizzoe

Round 6

Matt - Simon Gagne, LW, Philadelphia: Matt continues his Flyer theme by taking the young superstar named Simon. Pronounced like the Al Pacino movie, not the Chipmunk.
Mike - Tommy Salo, G, Edmonton: Mike may have been waiting on Cechmanek, and he almost got him. It's a possible scenario.
Stefan - Eric Daze, LW, Chicago: A-ha! (Not the band.) Daze is a budding star, but he's hurt, and don't know when he'll be back. That makes this pick too early, and too bad.
No, Stefan, I will not make out with you!
Phil - Mario Lemieux, C, Pittsburgh: Risky, perhaps. I feel that the 6th round is worth the risk for the best player in the NHL (when healthy). Yeah, I already have two great centers, so I figure, might as well snatch up the greatest player ever while I'm at it. In French, his name means "the best." You better believe it, pancho. Le magnifique!
Rob - Roman Turek, G, Calgary: Not a Wing! I would have taken a few goalies before him, but a refreshing pick from Rob.
Riley - Felix Potvin, G, L.A.: Felix the cat, baby. Can he be consistent for the whole year? Even if he can't, good pick for a second 'tender.
Joe - Mikael Renberg, RW, Toronto: This pick wouldn't be completely horrific if the RW likes of Pavel Bure, Ziggy Palffy, Miroslav Satan, etc., still weren't around.....maybe this is that bad.
G - Brent Johnson, G, St. Louis: He's hurt or something? Eh, good pick anyway.
Winners: Not Joe...or you, Stefan
Losers: Joe and Shingle Daddy

Round 7

G - Rob Blake, D, Colorado: This is the first time in the draft that the next player in my yellow " I'm going to draft this guy next" box gets taken out of it. G has drafted well, and this is his best pick so far.
Joe - Mike Grier, RW, Washington: Grier should not have been the second black guy selected.
Riley - Brian Leetch, D, New York Rangers: Damn Riley. There goes another defenseman I coveted in this round.
Rob - Chris Chelios, D, Detroit: Thank God for Rob, who takes the ancient Chelios before the likes of Gonchar and Teppo Numminen. Yo, Rob, the name on the back of the sweater is what matters in fantasy hockey, not the symbol on the front. But he crushed me last year, so I'll shut up now.
Phil - Patrick Lalime, G, Ottawa: I throw caution to the wind and pick up my second goalie as opposed grabbing my first defenseman. Will it come back to haunt me? Stay tuned.
Stefan - Doug Weight, C, St. Louis: Stefan, you're gonna carry that Weight, carry that Weight a long time. This Weight will make your team stronger. I'm here to draft, Shingle Daddy, not to make out with you!
Mike - Sergei Samsonov, LW, Boston: Sergei Samsonov is super speedy. He doesn't score goals 'cause he's greedy. He scores goals to feed the needy.
Matt - Ziggy Palffy, RW, L.A.: You find me a man who can say Ziggy Palffy's name and not get immediately happier. If you find him, ask him, "Hey, buddy, what happened to your soul? Everyone else is Gettin' Ziggy With It!"
Winners: Everyone but the usual suspects
Losers: The usual suspects (Rob, Joe, and Kevin Spacey)

Round 8

Matt - Eric Lindros, C, New York Rangers: Ah, Lindros. The oft-concussed, much-discussed mountain of a man. Definitely worth the risk here.
Mike - Miroslav Satan, RW, Buffalo: Sorry to ruin the fun, but I'll tell ya now, it's not pronounced the same way as the evil one. It's "Sha-tan." Sorry. You can still tell your friends otherwise if you want, but now you know the truth. And knowing is half the battle.
Stefan - Nikolai Khabibulin, G, Tampa Bay: Gets good save percentage, but not many wins. Earns bonus points for being nicknamed "The 'Bulin Wall" and being Ade's favorite hockey name "(Sound of coughing up a hairball)-bee-boo-lin." Stefan, go on with the chlorophyll!
Phil - Sergei Gonchar, D, Washington: It pays off, as I get one of the best fantasy defenseman after waiting another round. He's also great trade bait to Caps fans, I quickly found out. Patience, kids.
Rob - Jeremy Roenick, C, Philadelphia: Here we go, Rob, here we go! I knew he had it in him. Best center available.
Riley - Craig Conroy, C, Calgary: Now Drury's coming over, will Conroy play on Iginla's line? Riley obviously thinks little of what happens, and goes with him anyway. Can't blame him.
Joe - Mika Noronen, G, Buffalo: I think Joe based his idea on what goalies first names were, as it's the hardest position to fill in such a way. I wouldn't have a problem with this normally, as he needed a goalie, but a backup before Richter and Dunham, starting Mikes? Nyet.
G - Pavel Bure, RW, New York Rangers: He's not quite healthy yet, but once he gets healthy, with his speed and goal-scoring touch, and the new rules cutting down on obstruction? Look out.
Winners: Everyone, even J...ust kidding.
Losers: Joe, Thomas Jones, and anyone who says "Throw your hands in the air, and wave 'em like you just don't care."