| September 12, 2003 - Would you just shut the hell up! |
| Dear Friends, last Friday I decided I would just spend the evening at Ye Olde Watering Hole. Can I just tell you what a mistake that was? It started out pleasant enough, but ended up gradually going downhill. Everytime I finished a brewskie (light beers these days), I would think, "Do I want another? Can I possibly stand this another minute?" But yes, I did order another and another and another. "What," you may ask "went wrong at Ye Olde Watering Hole that evening?" Well, I'll tell you. You remember how I talked about Milton who kept hitting on my friend Laura? Well as usual he was drunk as a skunk. When he gets that way he demands that you pay undivided attention to him as he goes on and on about how wonderful he is and how much money he makes and how he used to enjoy his job, but wants another one now, blah, blah, blah. My friend Sally, who is talkative enough when she's sober, gets even more talkative when she's put a few under her belt. Then she'll talk incessantly about whatever is foremost in her mind the particular evening to the point that she starts repeating herself. One time I actually had to sit there and listen to her talk about her damned hairbraids for two hours! Lordie! Well, Dear Friends, last Friday I had Sally yapping in my left ear and Milton barking in my right simultaneously with two different conversations. It was horrible, because I couldn't follow a single thing either of them was talking about, but on top of that, they didn't even notice! They just went on and on, just like my father's elderly Southern aunts used to do when I was a kid. At one point I leaned over the bar just to give my ears a rest, but still they kept on! I rolled my eyes at Larry, the new bartender, for assistance, but to no avail. I just wanted to scream, "Would you two just shut the hell up!" But I'm a classy gent and fantabulous, so I didn't do that. Now this was all later in the evening. Earlier I discovered that they have a waitress there, Veronica, who is not to be trusted. She came around to Sally and me and said, "Guess what. Milton has a nickname for me and it's <supply nickname here, I don't remember what it was>. And he has nicknames for other people, too, like yaddy-ya for whoseewhat's it, etc." At that point JOHNNYLEEN said, "Yes, I know. His nickname for me is sunshine. But occasionally he calls me tinklepuss for some reason." The next thing I know, a very drunken Milton comes staggering over to me and said, "I don't remember ever calling you tinklepuss. And if I did, I didn't mean it as an insult. Really I didn't, so don't get offended." And JOHNNYLEEN, being the classy gent he is, not to mention fantabulous, said, "Oh, Milton, I took no offense at all. Don't worry about it." So now I've learned that Little Miss Veronica is nothing but a Big Ol' Blabbermouth Bitch. Now to top off my evening o' evenings at Ye Olde Watering Hole, when I left, Milton came careening after me. "Wait, wait!" he shouted. "Let me give you a lift home." Like I was going to get in a car with a driver who could barely stand up? I said, "Thanks, Milton, but I'd rather walk." "I'm OK," he said. "I can drive. Let me give you a lift." To which JOHNNYLEEN, being a classy gent and fantabulous to boot, answered, "Oh, it's not that. I just feel a little drunk and I think the cool air will do me some good on the way home. Thanks though. Ta ta!" Call me Diplomacy Personified! I swear, if it weren't for its proximity to my house and the weird people that I get to write about for all of you, my Dear Readers, I don't think I'd set foot in the place. Do you know the next time I went there, which was Saturday, a waitress was cutting paper dinner napkins in half to serve as cocktail napkins? What kind of bar/restaurant runs out of cocktail napkins? Not only that, they often run out of Budweiser! What kind of bar runs out of the self-proclaimed "King of Beers"? Don't they ever do inventory? It's amazing! They have one whole wall beside the bar stacked with crates and crates of softdrinks that no one, not even the kids in the restaurant part, ever drink and they continually add to the pile! What is so difficult about keeping stock on hand? Even if you messed up one month because you were new at it, wouldn't you think to tally how much had been consumed at the end of a month so you could estimate how much you needed for the next? Lordie! Next entry Previous entry Go to diary entries Go back home |