| August 31, 2003 - Saturday o' freaks |
| Dear Friends, the freaks were out in full force yesterday. I had decided to go into town and have a juicy chunk of cowmeat (there's really nothing better than filet mignon except for caviar with a beautiful bottle of Bollinger bubbly) and immediately upon arriving at the subway I encountered my first freak. She was a black woman (I think) who had dyed her hair orange. She had on a big ol' purple dress and this purple and white ribbon tied up in her hair somehow that it dangled and shook whenever she moved. She was also talking to herself, or at least she had the appearance of talking to herself since her mouth was moving. When she got on the train she practically leaned on the people in front of her still moving her mouth like she was talking. Then at the restaurant who do you think I saw? After all these months it was hair chopstick guy! Click here for my story about him. I saw him through the restaurant window as he was sauntering down the street. I couldn't help but wonder who he'd pick a fight with later on in the day. It really gave me the creeps frankly just seeing him again. Then after I ate I saw one of my co-workers and a friend come into the restaurant. So I had a drink with them while they ate and we chatted about everything from candlewax to kings. Anyway, Darren my co-worker noticed two really huge people come in and walk past our table. I wasn't paying attention, but he said, "What is this? Did the Fat family just come in? Those people do not need to come in here and order food." I turned to look but they were seated out of my range of vision. Later on I got up and went to the bathroom. On my way back I saw them and they were, indeed, quite large. They were so big in fact that they had no necks. They looked just like giant Pez dispensers, but less colorful and not filled with tasty treats. Oh, one other thing, it's about the waiter we had, but he wasn't a freak. Instead he was the spitting image of that French cartoon character Tintin. Click here to see what I mean. It was bizarre. I've never seen anyone who looked like a cartoon character. If they ever had a contest to see how many people look like cartoon characters, I wonder how many people would enter it. It's just difficult for me to imagine a Fred Flintstone look-alike. So after Darren and Ted left the restaurant there was this huge thunderstorm and downpour. Well, I've always heard that the safest place in a storm is a bar; or is it a car? It really makes no difference since I've never heard of anyone being struck by lightning in a bar. So I ordered a couple o' drinks and bravely waited it out. I went to another place after that and had a couple of brewskies and then headed home. Of course, no evening would be complete without stopping at Ye Olde Watering Hole and regaling everyone with my fun, fun, fun activities. Now after the bar closed I came home and discovered I was ravenous. So I fried an egg and drank some water. But I decided that I was still hungry, so I stripped off all my clothes and sat naked in the living room eating potato chips and shredded cheese. Don't ask me why I decided to eat naked; I really have no idea. But by the time I was through, I was coated in cheese bits and potato chip crumbs. This morning while straightening the living room I found a neat circle of cheese and crumbs on the chair where I had been sitting. So there you have my story of my freaky Saturday. Next entry Previous entry Go to diary entries Go back home |