| August 26, 2003 - What a wild weekend! |
| Dear Friends, I had the absolute bestest weekend. My friend Laura from Scotland flew over to visit a friend of hers who lives about 2 1/2 hours from the Big City. I had met Laura in Sweden and had said that she should visit me while in the States. Well, she got to the Big City on Thursday and it was non-stop partying since. Yes, of course, I took her to Ye Olde Watering Hole and she agreed with me that it's definitely full of odd characters. One guy, I'll call him Milton, insisted that another patron, Sally, had told him that I wanted to introduce Laura to him because I thought that she would be interested in him. First of all, I would never, ever have said that, so I think Milton either misunderstood something Sally said or she was trying to play a colossal joke on him. So Friday we went out for big chunks of juicy cowmeat at lunch and then hung out at a couple of bars until time to head home. We stopped by Ye Olde Watering Hole on the way home and that's when Laura had the pleasure of meeting Milton. It was quite scary really. At one point he said to me, "I don't stand a chance with your friend Laura, do I?" And I told him I didn't think so and that it really didn't matter because she had a boyfriend back in Scotland. Which she doesn't; I just said that so he'd stop bothering her. He then said to her, "I wish I weren't so drunk so that I could really talk to you." Then he launched into a story about how he's written a children's book before and is in the process of writing another. It was some silly thing about a lamb trying to get back the wool that had been shorn from it. Whatever! Then on Saturday we went to a house warming at K.'s. It really ought to be renamed to house swarming because people were swarming all over the place. The food was all yummy-yum-yum; especially the tons of shrimp that he had there. Of course, booze was flowing freely; this is K. we're talking about after all. My personal trainer was there as well since I had met her through K. That's a whole story in and of itself that I'll tell you another time. In my future diary entries she'll be referred to as The Torturer. Now on Sunday we leapt out of bed to go to this wild restaurant where they have a drag brunch! I hadn't been there in years, but Laura expressed interest so off we toddled. Those people were amazing. But something else really funny, and actually a bit flattering, happened. One of the performers isn't a drag queen; he's an extremely good looking and well-built guy who does Ricky Martin numbers. Anyway, Laura gave him a dollar and he gave her a little kiss on the cheek. During one of his other numbers, I gave him a dollar. He suddenly came around behind my chair, reached down my sides, and yanked my tank top off! JOHNNYLEEN was so startled he didn't know what to do. Everyone started screaming and clapping. The women in there were all positively shrieking with delight and wanton desire! I was flattered that he thought I'd look halfway decent with my shirt off...and it's all thanks to The Torturer. After that brazen display of hussiness on my part, we went over to another bar where we had tons of vodka drinks. Then after about 2 or 3 hours there, we went to another bar and consumed even more vodka. We were just sitting there gulping...er...sipping our drinks when all of a sudden people began moving chairs up in front of the various TV screens around the room. They were all gathering to watch "Sex in the City"! It was like watching animals that suddenly all flock together out of instinct at some signal never seen by humans. After "Sex in the City" we stumbled home, had a bite to eat, and hit the sack. The next day we were both tired, but we had to be up and at 'em because Laura had a flight out to the West Coast to catch. I was sad to see her go, but I will be going to Scotland in March to see her. She wants us to go to a reel. Now a Scottish reel I think is something similar to the Virginia reel in that you have a lead couple and everyone else follows suit. But the Scottish reels are all to bagpipe music and have interesting names like "The Gentleman on a White Horse" and "Mr. Hartford's Dance". If possible, she wants to take me to a formal one where a certain Royal has been known to dance a jig or two. If one is held in March, I'll just send her my measurements a month ahead of time and she'll arrange a tux rental for me. Ah, the joys of being JOHNNYLEEN! Be certain to check back to see if I've updated because I want to tell you all about my fabulous personal trainer, The Torturer. She must be fabulous because she said I would possibly see good results after a month. Isn't that bootilicious? Next entry Previous entry Go to diary entries Go back home |