| July 24, 2004 - Back from my bootilicious Nordic holiday! |
| Dear Friends, I got back into these here New-nited States late Thursday afternoon after a whirlwind trip to Scotland, Sweden, Norway, Denmark, Finland, Estonia, and England that lasted for 5 1/2 weeks! Boy was it bootilicious, but expensive! Thanks to our fearless leader's sound economic policies, I'm practically bankrupt! Just Thursday morning I had a Danish and coffee at Heathrow airport for about 4 pounds. When they brought the bill out, they had listed the price in Yen, Australian dollars, Euros, and American dollars. My simple breakfast cost me $8.08! Speaking of our fearless leader, I must say it was embarrassing to constantly be asked why he does the things he does, but I luckily had the excuse that I didn't vote for him. Just to show you what the rest of the world thinks of us, I saw a guy from Australia wearing a T-shirt with the Statue of Liberty on it. In one hand she was holding an assault rifle and in the other a missile. Thank goodness he didn't speak to me or I might have had to claim I was Canadian. Speaking of seeing people, you won't believe what happened to me in London! I was at a club and this guy walked over and said, "Excuse me. Is your name JOHNNYLEEN?" I looked at him in surprise and said, "Yes, it is." And he asked, "Do you live in the Big City?" And I responded, "Yes, I do." And then he went on to ask if I was friendly with a certain guy named Dan and I said yes, that I often saw him on Drunken Brunch Sunday. Well, it turned out that this guy, I'll call him Chris, had met me at least twice here in the Big City, even though I couldn't remember having met him. Actually, after we talked a bit, he did seem a bit familiar. But, Dear Friends, what are the odds of being in London and running into someone you know from the Big City? It was freaky, I tell you, freaky. I'm just glad that it wasn't anyone I despise, like Mr. Licky Fingers whom I've talked about elsewhere on my web page. Now, of course, JOHNNYLEEN wouldn't be JOHNNYLEEN if he didn't run into freaks even in Europe. On Tuesday I was wandering all over my London neighborhood trying to find a bank machine that actually worked. I ended up having to use one in Victoria Station. After wandering around aimlessly I finally found three of them in a row at the station and realized that I had walked past them several times without seeing them. Anyhoo, on my way back to my hotel, this woman behind me suddenly started screaming at the top of her lungs, "You g.d. m. f.'s! You're nothing but bastards! You make me f****** sick! I hate every g.d. one of you!" Well, my dears, it was so totally unexpected that my heart leapt right into my throat. No matter how quickly I walked, she was faster, like she was approaching me at the speed of light. In an absolute panic, I crossed the street right in the middle of traffic just to get away from her. She continued on her way for a block and then suddenly started screeching again and cursing for all she was worth. I don't think she was in her right mind. And one other freak I encountered was on the good ship Gabriella, which goes from Stockholm to Helsinki. A group of us were at the disco and one of my friends asked if I would hold her coat and purse while she went to the ladies' room. As I stood there, this drunk came up and tried to take her stuff away from me! I slapped his hands really hard and said, "You keep the f*** away from me!" He came at me again, so I went and got the bartender, who threw him out. Boy I do attract them, don't I? If they're not cursing at me, they're trying to snatch stuff away from me! Now speaking of the disco, the trip back from Helsinki was really rough and the ship kept rolling from side to side. We were at the disco called "The Fun Lounge" where they play really funky stuff from the 70's and 80's, just waiting until the Techno disco opened. As the ship pitched to the right, all the people on the dance floor went hurtling to the right. As it went left, they went lurching to the left. It was like watching some kind of weird free-style country line dance! In fact, Dear Friends, the seas were so rough that when we got back to Uppsala by bus the next morning, several of us felt like the ground was rocking. That afternoon my class was assigned to eat at a place called Ecocafeet. I ate there with a friend of mine and when we left the restaurant together, our teacher said she watched us weaving and staggering up the street! By 6:00 p.m. I was so ill from the feeling that I went home and went to bed at 7:00. The odd thing is that my hotel in London a week later had a bathroom very similar to the one on the ship, so every time I went to go potty, the bathroom felt like it was rocking to me! Isn't that just too weird and not at all bootilicious? Next entry Previous entry Go to diary entries Go back home |