| April 28, 2003 - drunken brunch Sunday |
| Dear Friends, can I just tell you how exhausted from my busy weekend I am? On Friday after hateful ol' work, I stopped at Ye Olde Watering Hole where several people insisted, insisted I tell you, on buying me drinks. Then on Saturday morning I had to drag myself out of bed, wash clothes, and work out. Then I went to get a haircut and a bite of lunch. After that, I went with my friend, Sally, to look for furniture for her new apartment. When I got back from that, I then had to jump in my car and drive to a party 25 miles away. The party wasn't for me and, in fact, I didn't even mention that I had had a birthday because I'm humble. There were tons of food and drink and I finally tumbled into bed at 1:00 in the morning. The next day I got up, drank coffee, and then went rushing back to my house to get ready for drunken brunch Sunday. At the party Saturday night, when someone asked me what my plans were for Sunday, I told them that I was going to drunken brunch Sunday. They thought that was an actual event and that it was advertised that way! Wouldn't the alcohol board love to get hold of something like that! So anyway, I met my friends, K., Miss Diva, and Sheldon at the brunch and we ate, ate, ate and drank, drank, drank. Then Miss Diva had to go home and mow the grass and Sheldon wanted to scrape paint flecks off the floor of the entrance hall of his and K.'s house, so K. and I just hung out. We went from bar to bar and then called a guy, Miles, who had wanted to see K. while visiting from another Important Metropolis. So we made Miles come pick us up and wheedled many more drinks out of him by repeating over and over that it was my birthday celebration. Then we all went over to K. and Sheldon's house where we drank many cosmopolitans and Kevin and I made individual meatloaves layered in yummy bacon for everyone. As we prepped the food and drinks, we kept giving one another instructions in a creepy kind of Mr. Rogers voice, but with a heavy southern accent. I noticed that making individual meatloaves parches one's throat very quickly, so I had to keep taking sips of my cosmopolitan to keep from getting dehydrated. I think drunken brunch Sunday should be made into a national holiday called, appropriately enough, Drunken Brunch Sunday. Perhaps K. and I should sponsor that effort like some woman at the turn of the century did for Mother's Day. I'm sure the Hallmark Card lobbyists would support us in the endeavor. I can think of tons of clever rhymes that one could put on a greeting card for Drunken Brunch Sunday, can't you? I finally got back to my house and tumbled into bed at 11:00 last night and then had to get up at 6:00 to go to hateful ol' work. I was pooped and my office was kind of warm so I felt really drousy. Why, oh why, can't I just be independently wealthy? People always say stuff like, "Even if I had all the money in the world, I would still have a job because work is important and fulfilling." Jeezy-Pete, not me! If you're so unimaginative not to be able to think up ways to occupy your time with all that money, then you certainly could never be a friend of mine (unless, of course, you were planning to spend it all on me)! Besides, when you get rich, you should immediately quit your job so you can open it up for some other poor slob who actually needs it, thus helping out your fellow man. Anyway, it was a great weekend and I have to say that I haven't laughed as much as I did on Sunday in a long while. K. and I just made witty remarks all day long, some of which wouldn't probably make much sense right now. There were all these deaf people around for some reason and I finally told K. that I had had it with the deaf and their incessant chatter! I thought that was pretty funny since they weren't making any sounds at all; and no, I don't have anything against the deaf. It was just a joke, so lay off me! At one point we were talking about how useful it would be to have three arms, because then you could use the toilet and your palm pilot at the same time. Just think, office productivity could increase fivefold! Then we said the government should force people to wear toe tags like they put on dead bodies so that emergency workers could easily identify dead people without having to put the toe tags on themselves. We ended up agreeing that the world would run much more efficiently and be an overall better place if we ruled it. Next entry Previous entry Go to diary entries Go back home |