| January 21, 2004 - Up early and in a funk |
| Dear Friends, I'm writing this at 1:30 in the morning after not being able to sleep very well. "Why," you may ask, "did you not sleep well JOHNNYLEEN?" Well, I'll tell you. I went to bed at 7:00 last night because I was in a moody funk. This is what happened. I discovered yesterday that Big Name University has set up an on-line alumni directory. So after verifying my own record, I started looking up various people I knew there. Just to see what would happen, I plugged in the name of someone I knew who had passed away, and voila, a record for her appeared. All it said was her name, birthdate (only month and day, no year), and the label DECEASED. So as I typed in various school chums and acquaintances, I was startled to find that two people I knew had died! One of them in particular I remember as being very vibrant with a great sense of humor and she loved to dance, too. She and I often went out with a group of friends and ended up dancing almost every dance together. Surprisingly, I felt immediately like I knew what she and the other person had died from but I have no way, or wish really, to verify my suspicions. Suffice it to say that my lower jaw dropped when I saw that DECEASED label and I had that icky feeling I had when I came back from Christmas break as a freshman to learn that someone in my dorm had committed suicide. So I took to my bed to mull life over and worry about why I'm happy when others seem to be so unfortunate. Every time I woke up it was with the feeling that Death was just lurking around the corner. But you know what, Dear Friends? When I finally hauled my tuches out of bed a little while ago, it was with the realization that while Death may be around the corner, so is Fantabulosity. What I mean is that the chance of Fantabulous things awaiting one in the future is much more likely than imminent Death, n'est-ce pas? Because Death is only one thing, whereas Fantabulosity covers any number of events, the likelihood of Fantabulosity occuring is, oh I don't know, perhaps 1,000,000 times better than Death occuring. See, you can do anything with statistics! So once again, I'm facing a new day full of optimism and with the hope that something Fantabulous will happen or that I'll make something Fantabulous happen just by having a good hair day. Speaking of fantabulous, my friend Lara in Edinburgh wrote to me yesterday and asked when do I want to come to visit her. I've already started looking up flights to London to see M., which are currently running about $417, and I think Ryanair probably has a cheap flight from London up to Bonnie Scotland. Lara isn't certain how much time she can spend with me during the day, but that's fine. I've been to Edinburgh before and there are all sorts of wee bonnie things to do there, ye lads and lassies. And, of course, I'm looking forward to toddling around London with M.; especially since I didn't get to see her when she came to the States for Christmas. There's also my trip to my beloved Iceland and Sweden to look forward to. I need to get crackin' and send my application in to the school and chooose my courses. My friend, K., said he might come and visit this summer. Is Stockholm ready for that? Next entry Previous entry Go to diary entries Go back home |