An attractive young girl, chaperoned by an ugly old lady, entered the doctor's office.
"We have come for an examination," said the young girl.
"All right," said the doctor. "Go behind that curtain and take your clothes off."
"No, not me," said the girl. "it's my old aunt here."
"Very well," said the doctor. "Madam, stick out your tongue please."
***
There were three men at a bar. One man got drunk and started a fight with the other two men.
The police came and took the drunk to jail.
The next day the man went before the judge.
The judge asked the man, "Where do you work?"
The man said, "Here and there."
The judge asked the man, "What do you do for a living?"
The man said, "This and that."
The now exasperated judge then said, "Take him away."
The man said, "Wait, judge, when will I get out?"
The judge said to the man, "Sooner or later."
***
During a wild party at a country house, Roxanne had too much to drink and strolled outside for some air.
Getting to a grassy field, she laid down to watch the stars. Roxanne was almost asleep when a cow, searching for clover, carefully stepped over her. Groggily, she raised her head and said, "One at a time boys, one at a time."
***
Little Johnny and his friends were talking about condoms in school one day. Basically he knew where they were used and their purpose, but not much more than that. So he decided to go to a local drug store to buy a few in order to learn more about them. As to not waste too much time, he asked the pharmacist if he had any condoms for sale.
The pharmacist replied, why yes, we have them three for a dollar.
Johnny replied, I'll take three then.
When the pharmacist tallied the amount the register, the total came to one-dollar and six cents.
Johnny said, "Wait a minute, what's the six cents for, I thought you told me they were three for a dollar?"
The pharmacist replied, "That's the tax we put on them."
Little Johnny said, "Ouch, I thought they stayed on by themselves."
***
There's a student in medical school who wants to specialize in sexual disorders, so he makes arrangements to visit the sexual disorder clinic. The chief doctor is showing him around, discussing cases and the facility, when the student sees a patient pleasuring himself right there in the hallway.
"What condition does he have?" the student asks.
"He suffers from Seminal Buildup Disorder," the doctor replies. "If he doesn't obtain sexual release 40 to 50 times a day, he'll pass into a coma."
The student takes some notes on that, and they continue down the hall. As they turn the corner, he sees another patient with his pants around his ankles, getting oral gratification from a beautiful nurse.
What about him?" the student asks. "What's his story?"
"Oh, it's the same condition," the doctor replies. "He just has a better health plan."
***
Who was the greatest inventor of all time?
God was! He took a rib from Adam and made a loudspeaker.
