Hello! You have reached the automated answering service of your school.
In order to assist you in connecting to the right staff member,
please listen to all options before making a selection:
To lie about why your child is absent: Press 1.
To make excuses for why your child did not do his work: Press 2.
To complain about what we do: Press 3.
To cuss out staff members: Press 4.
To ask why you didn't get needed information that was already enclosed in
your newsletter and several bulletins mailed to you: Press 5.
If you want us to raise your child: Press 6.
If you want to reach out and touch, slap or hit someone: Press 7.
To request another teacher for the third time this year: Press 8.
To complain about bus transportation: Press 9.
To complain about school lunches: Press 0.
If you realize this is the real world and your child must be accountable, responsible for his/her own behavior, classwork, homework, and that it's not the teacher's fault for your child(ren)'s lack of effort:
Hang up and have a nice day!!!
***
A Blonde woman goes to her doctor and says, "Doctor, I'm worried about my husband. Every time he gets out of the shower and combs his hair, big white flakes appear."
"That's nothing unusual," replies the doctor. "Your husband has dandruff. Give him Head & Shoulders."
The wife gets a confused look on her face and asks,
"How do I give him shoulders?"
***
EMBARRASSING MOMENTS...
Nuts About You......
My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help.
I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts."
My sister started to laugh hysterically, the boy grinned, and I turned beet red and walked away.
To this day, my sister has never let me forget.
Strip Mall......
My husband and I took our three kids out shoe shopping one day. We were going from store to store, and the kids were getting restless. At one crowded store, I was standing near a bench when my 3-year-old climbed up on it, grabbed hold of my elastic-waist shorts, and jumped off-pulling both my shorts and my underwear to the floor. I raced out of the store..
Curl up and die.....
I once walked into a hair salon- with my husband and three kids in tow----and asked loudly,
"How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?"
