Lorraina Bobbitt's sister was arrested last night for attempting to cause
the same damage to her husband, except she missed and hit his leg.
She has been charged with a.....
ready for this????......
a "misdeweiner."
***
There were two old boys from Alabama who loved to fish. They wanted to do some ice fishing that they'd heard about in Canada, so they took off to try it. The lake was frozen nicely, so they stopped just before they got to the lake at a little bait shop and got all their tackle.
One of them said, "We're going to need an ice pick." After they got their equipment, they took off. A couple of hours later, one of them was back at the shop and said, "We're going to need another dozen ice picks."
He paid for the picks and left.
An hour later, he was back at the shop again and said, "We're going to need all the ice picks you've got."
The bait man couldn't stand it any longer. "By the way, "he asked, "how are you fellows doing?"
"Not very well at all," the boy said. "We don't even have the stupid boat in the water yet."
***
A little boy was born without any eyelids. A quick thinking doctor hurriedly circumcised the
little boy and sewed the foreskin on in place of eyelids.
The youngster is going to be just fine, but he will be a little cock-eyed.
***
Let me see if I got this right. In support of the Jenny Craig weight reduction program, diet guru Monica Lewinsky will be telling us what we should and shouldn't put into our mouths?
***
One of the teachers had a kindergartner come up to her and say that he found a frog.
The teacher asked if the frog was alive or dead.
The student said it was dead.
The teacher asked how he knew.
The boy said, "I pissed in it's ear."
The teacher said, "YOU WHAT !!?"
He said, "You know, I went to his ear and said, 'PSST!' and it didn't move. So it must be dead."
***
World's Thinnest Books
18. BEAUTY SECRETS by Janet Reno
17. HOW TO GET TO THE SUPER BOWL by Dan Marino
16. THINGS I LOVE ABOUT BILL by Hillary Clinton
15. THINGS I CAN'T AFFORD by Bill Gates
14. THINGS I WOULD NOT DO FOR MONEY - by Dennis Rodman
13. THE WILD YEARS - by Al Gore
12. AMELIA EARHART'S GUIDE TO THE PACIFIC OCEAN
11. AMERICA'S MOST POPULAR LAWYERS
10. DETROIT - A TRAVEL GUIDE
9. DR. KEVORKIAN'S COLLECTION OF MOTIVATIONAL SPEECHES
8. EVERYTHING MEN KNOW ABOUT WOMEN
7. EVERYTHING WOMEN KNOW ABOUT MEN
6. ALL THE MEN I'VE LOVED BEFORE - by Ellen DeGeneres
5. MIKE TYSON'S GUIDE TO DATING ETIQUETTE
4. SPOTTED OWL RECIPES - by the Sierra Club
3. THE AMISH PHONE DIRECTORY
2. MY PLAN TO FIND THE REAL KILLERS - by O. J. Simpson
1. MY BOOK OF MORALS - by Bill Clinton
