Unbeknownst to most women there are advantages to being a man.
This is 40 reasons why men are cool.........
1. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds - period.
2. We know stuff about tanks.
3. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
4. We can open all our own jars.
5. Dry cleaners and hair cutters don't rob us blind.
6. We can go to the bathroom without a support group.
7. We don't have to learn to spell a new last name.
8. We can leave the motel bed unmade.
9. We can kill our own food.
10. We get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
11. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
12. If someone forgets to invite us to something, they can still be our friend.
13. Our underwear is $10 for a three-pack.
14. If we're 34 and single, nobody notices.
15. Everything on our face stays its original color.
16. We can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.
17. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
18. We don't have to clean our apartment if the meter reader is coming.
19. Car mechanics tell us the truth.
20. We can quietly watch a game with our buddy without thinking: "He must be mad at me."
21. Same work-more pay.
22. Gray hair and wrinkles only add character.
23. Wedding dress - $2,000. Tuxedo rental - $75 bucks.
24. We don't mooch off other's desserts.
25. We can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a gift.
26. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, we might become lifelong friends.
27. Our pals can be trusted never to trap us with the line: "Do you notice anything different?"
28. We are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.
29. We don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
30. We almost never have strap problems in public!!!
31. We are unable to see wrinkles in our clothes.
32. The same hairstyle lasts for years.
33. We don't shave below the neck.
34. Belches are expected and tolerated.
35. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
36. We can "do" our nails with a pocketknife.
37. We have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
38. Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes.
39. We don't ever say: "If you don't know what's wrong, I'm sure not going to tell you!"
40. We can scratch when & where it itches.
***
A couple was on their honeymoon, lying in bed, about ready to consummate their marriage, when the new bride says to the husband, "I have a confession to make, I'm not a virgin."
The husband replies, "That's no big thing in this day and age."
The wife continues, "Yeah, I've been with one guy."
"Oh yeah? Who was the guy?"
"Tiger Woods."
"Tiger Woods, the golfer?"
"Yeah."
"Well, he's rich, famous and handsome. I can see why you went to bed with him."
The husband and wife then make passionate love. When they are done, the husband gets up and walks to the telephone.
"What are you doing?" asks the wife.
The husband says, "I'm hungry, I was going to call room service and get something to eat."
"Tiger wouldn't do that."
"Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?"
"He'd come back to bed and do it a second time."
The husband puts down the phone and goes back to bed to make love a second time.
When they finish, he gets up and goes over to the phone.
"Now what are you doing?" She asks.
The husband says, "I'm still hungry so I was going to get room service to get something to eat."
"Tiger wouldn't do that."
"Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?"
"He'd come back to bed and do it again."
The guy slams down the phone, goes back to bed, and makes love one more time. When they finish he's tired and beat. He drags himself over to the phone and starts to dial.
The wife asks, "Are you calling room service?"
"No! I'm calling Tiger Woods, to find out what's par for this damn hole".
