"Angel, I Do"

I've lost myself once again,
in this trail of shed tears,
Where so many have often been,
throughout the many years.

It looks so oddly familiar to me,
though I'd rather not be here.
I know that what is is always meant to be,
still I live in endless fear.

Does she love me? Does she care?
Does she know what's on my mind?
Is she really the only one out there,
that I will ever find?

Mr. Webster, you can't help me tonight,
what I feel is out of your league.
I thought that asking directions might,
but that has nowhere to lead.

Now I'm wandering through this labyrinth,
I know I've been here before,
But I just can't find that exit;
can't find that sacred door.

In my past endurance here,
I didn't have to look.
For my Angel just magically appeared,
straight out of a storybook.

She led me to her door,
to where I eagerly followed.
Then she did what's more,
she gave her wings to borrow.

I was afraid of this adventure,
though my Angel initiated all.
I had nothing to fear, 
except our inevitable fall.

She told me not to worry,
that she would catch me if I fall.
Afterwards, she said she was sorry,
and that was that; that's all.

I'm still here, lost in this maze,
My Angel still there to assist,
But when I stare into her gaze,
that return has ceased to exist.

She will help me to the door,
but then I'm on my own.
But for now, I can't handle more,
than what she has done and shown.

I will stay until I'm ready,
to step into the light,
She says she will keep me steady,
through each and every night.

I felt so much more alive,
in her glowing lighted crown,
Yet without her, I must survive,
enduring not a frown.

My blurs are blind,
my dimes have turned,
My heart has to find,
that this love has burned.

She had to leave,
leaving so quickly.
She had to believe,
these eyes, she wanted not to see.

Apology accepted,
though love rejected?
Does she understand this maze?
Or how lost I'm in her gaze?

If you learn to live,
and live to love,
How could this lesson
drop me from above?

Now I must learn to live,
but leave the love,
For another day to give,
to someone I know not of.

My somber nights,
are hell alone.
But the days hold her sights,
sending a shiver to every bone.

I look in her eyes,
and see the love she feels for me.
But I am just one of the guys,
for whom love is not to be.

Now to my Angel up above,
I've got to say to you,
That I thank you eternally for your love,
and to say "Angel, I Do"

- Joseph H. Hansche
4/2/00