"Blind in a Blur"

I was sitting alone, deep in thought.
Thinking about yesterday, thinking about 'us' a lot.

Then, I thought about 'us' tomorrow.
I thought about you and my heart filled with sorrow.

Again, I thought about yesterday.
Oh, something special we had in our own special way.

Now, in my heart, something begins to stir.
I think about you and me, and all turns to a blur.

And in this blur, but a mosaic of color,
I see that with you, my life was much fuller.

I see how I screwed up, how I could've made it better,
In a phone call, in person, or just in a letter.

I should have told you how I felt, how I loved you so,
How if new cards are dealt, I'll long for long ago.

You waited too long, while I was blind in a way.
And because of that, again, I am blind in my blur today.

You found someone else who will be there for you.
I really don't blame you, and yet, I continue.

I continue to love; I continue to hold.
I continue to live, but I never lose hope.

I'm blind in a blur with nothing to do,
but sleep tonight, let it dry, and dream all night of you.

I'll dream about us; how I want us to stay.
I'll dream about us; I'll long for yesterday.

I'll wake up, and my blur will have past.
I'll remember that I was dreaming, and it will return all too fast.

I'll force it away and go on to face,
The rest of the day, with that same empty space.

I'll fight through the day, not really sure,
How I ended up here, fighting away this blur.

I'll watch you laugh and joke, so happy are you.
Ironicly so, I thought that you were as happy with me, too.

If I had another chance, I'd try to show,
That you'd be my Juliet, and I your Romeo.

And you would see that a new man was born,
And see that I am valid for all that I've sworn.

And through my celebrations, I would lock away,
This Blur in a Blind, in a 'mare I call "today."

- Joseph H. Hansche
1/25/00