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"On
Republic Day 1990, the nation celebrated the success
of its missile programme. I was conferred the Padma
Vibhushan along with Dr Arunachalam. Two of my other
colleagues, J.C. Bhattacharya and R.N. Agarwal, were
also decorated with the Padma Shree awards.
It
was the first time in the history of free India that
so many scientists affiliated to the same organization
found their names in the awards list. Memories of the
Padma I Still lived more or less as I had lived then,
in a room ten feet wide and twelve feet long,
furnished mainly with books, papers and a few pieces
of hired furniture. At that time, my room was in
Trivandrum and now it was in Hyderabad. The mess
bearer brought my breakfast of idllis and buttermilk
and smiled in silent congratulations for the award.
I
was touched by the recognition bestowed on me by my
countrymen. A large number of scientists and engineers
leave this country at their first opportunity to earn
money abroad. It is true that they definitely get
greater monetary benefits, but sould anything
compensate for this love and respect from your
own countrymen?
I
sat alone for quite some time in silent contemplation.
The sand and shells of Rameswaram, the care of
Iyadurai Solomon in Ramanathapuram; the guidance of
Rev. Father Sequeira in Trichi and Prof. Pandalai in
Madras, the encouragement of Dr Mdeiratta in
Bangalore; the hovercraft ride with Prof.Menon, the
pre-dawn visit to the Tilpat Range Prof. Sarabhai; the
healing touch of Dr Brahm Prakash on the day of the
SLV-3 failure; the national jubilation on the SLV-3
launch;
Madam
Gandhi's appreciative smile, the post-SLV-3 simmering
at VSSC, Dr Ramanna's faith in inviting me to DRDO;
the IGMDP, the creation of RCI, Prithvi, Agni…a gust
of memories swept over me. Where were all these men
now? My father, Prof.Sarabhai, Dr Brahm Prakash? Could
I meet them and share my joy with them?
In
a state of trance, I acquired my double status, as a
child of heaven and of earth. The paternal forces of
heaven and the maternal and cosmic forces of nature
embraced me as parents hug their long-lost child.
I scribbled in my diary:
Away!
Fond thoughts, and vex my soul no more!
Work claimed my wakeful nights, my busy days
Albeit brought memories of Rameswaram shore
Yet haunt my dreaming gaze!
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