The Badger
The Badger' is the much loved manager of Heath Park football club. His unique managerial abilities, highlighted in the revolutionary tactic of playing three full-backs has brought Heath Park some success.
The Badger looks rather like a small bear, and indeed when it was first described scientifically it was classified as a bear. However, the badger is not a small bear - it is in fact a big weasel!
Just like another managerial great The Badger has once again postponed his threatened retirement with the lure of another Sunday League championship campaign proving too much for him to resist. Alternative reports have suggested that his managerial role is merely a facade to allow him to nip down the pub afterwards without the missus complaining.
The principal food of the badger, in most of western Europe, is the earthworm. In this rare instance the Badger is also known to survive on cigarettes washed down with Vodka. During the autumn, badgers spend a great deal of time feeding, to build up their fat reserves ready for the coming winter. Alternatively this can apparently be achieved with 40 Benson a day.
The badger is capable of putting up a good defence, as it has powerful jaws and can inflict serious bite wounds. Unfortunately for toothless specimens the growl may prove worse than the bite.
In Britain, adult badgers have no natural enemies except the Church.