Second Page News
Jimbo Rides On Maiden Voyage of Machine Blimp
Next Installment of�Jimbo Book Due Today
Jimbo Crushes Neighborhood Insurrection
Writer, Editor, Publisher, and Person Who Made This Cheap Yellow Background: Woody
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Volume 1 � � Issue 2� � February 4, 2000
Front Page News
Jimbo's Art On Display
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Occupying a place in our hearts next to our very souls is a
highly cherished tangible object. This beloved article is, as you may have
guessed, the toilet. This fabulous fixture is the subject of Toilets!,
an exhibition of some of Jimbo�s artwork.
� � �Jimbo created the 27 artworks of Toilets! over
a period of two to three minutes. �It occupied all my time for quite
a while,� he said. He drew the toilets with a pen, then painted them
with a beer-based paint.
� � �Jimbo has long been interested in drawing toilets. �I
mean, when you walk into the bathroom, it�s the first thing you see,
especially if it�s overflowing,� he said. Jimbo claims to have
often spent hours in the bathroom studying the toilet. �Other people
in the house would begin to worry about me after the first 15 minutes or
so. They always thought I�d fallen in. I�ve only actually fallen
in three or four times.�
� � �Other artists have visited the exhibit already. Another
toilet artist, Brian the Destroyer, though more an artist of hole-in-the-ground
toilets, was pleased with Jimbo�s work. �He really did well,
considering the limitations of the modern toilet that he had to work with,�
he said.
� � �The pictures are on display at Jimbo�s Beer Shack
all this month. Admission to the exhibit is either $3 or 10 empty beer cans
to be added to Jimbo�s collection.
(Editor's Note: �That toilet picture actually was drawn by Jimbo for me- it's probably the only genuine picture you'll ever see in the Jimbo News)
Jimbo Figures Things Out
� � �Jimbo recently took on the role of a detective, and went
out to �look around and see if I can�t see just what�s going
on here,� in his words. He sought an answer to the question of what
is happening.
� � �His search yielded vast quantities of information.
�There is actually an astonishing amount of stuff going on in the
world,� Jimbo said. �I�d explain some of it to you, but your
inferior intellectual capabilities would make it a waste of my time.�
� � �Jimbo seems to conclude that the world is yet full morons.
Jimbo Eats a "Really Good Pie"
� � �Jimbo was blessed with the opportunity last night to
eat what he called a �really good pie.� What kind of pie it was
is unknown, but Jimbo is reported to have received the pie and eaten it within
42 seconds. �What kind of pie would someone eat in only 42 seconds?�
someone inquired of him. �A really good one,� replied Jimbo.
