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WARNING: This page is for the seasoned Tee Jaye's veteran. If the term "barnyard
buster" doesn't mean anything to you, you first need to be
enlightened on the ways of the Barnyard, so to speak. Then come back and party here. Joe here is showing off an infamous Tee Jaye's breakfast menu. Now, having menus at Tee Jaye's is the most ridiculous idea I've heard of. They serve a much better function as dorm room wall decorations. Regardless of how schnockered you are, you come into Tee Jaye's with two things on your mind: (1) you need to eat, and (2) you need a Barnyard. You don't need a menu to tell you that, and most likely, you're not with it enough to to be able to read it anyway. So slip that mofo inside your jacket--uh, i mean, put it down on the table--and begin mentally preparing for the Barnyard. |
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Eventually a waiter/waitress will pry him/herself away from mingling with the other drunken regulars to come and take your order. Be sure to be as loud/obnoxious/confusing as possible while ordering. Also, make sure to divide the tab into as many separate checks as possible; this makes it easier to ring it all up, especially since Tee Jaye's does not seem to believe in the practice of adding up the subtotal on the checks. If you're lucky food will show up a few minutes later. But don't expect any more. You're on your own if you want a refill. Peter, however, has found a workaround to this dilemma...namely, the location in the kitchen of the pop machine. After about three trips into the kitchen, they just let him start refilling it on his own. This, folks, is efficiency! Pictured to the left is Peter returning from one of said refill trips. The refill trip also provides the opportunity to scout for mullets that will require photographing. |
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Alright, forget about the Barnyards for a while. Trust me, you'll wish you could in about 12 hours. It is now time... time
indeed it is... to place yourself on 100%, uninterrupted, full-scale MULLET ALERT. At any given point all evening, there
are at least 6 mullets on the premises. Remember, you gotta scope for those that are all about the business up front, but partyin like it's
1975 in the back. This is also the point in our visit when we start praying that we don't end up leaving Tee Jaye's
face-first through a window, because asking for it we indeed are. Let the games begin! |
 First, you could imagine my surprise when, of all people, Stevie Ray Vaughan walked in! Imagine being in the very same late nite fooding hole as one of Blues/Classic Rock's lengnds! Just as I was about to jump up to request an autograph, I had one of those inner-dialogs with myself: My inner-self: Woah, dude, check it out! It's SRV! My other inner-self: Woah... But wait a second, SRV's been dead for 13 years. He died, remember? My inner-self: True, but that's him right there! My other inner-self: Can SRV, performer of such classics as "Look at Little Sister" and "The House is a Rocking," be back from the dead?? My inner-self: Dude, Tee-Jaye's does some magical things... Nevermind. Move along, move along. |
| Shhhh don't tell! but I'm going to divulge one of our trade secrets. See, for reasons obvious, we'd be certain to receive multiple knuckle sandwiches if we just ran up to people and snapped pictures of them. It's all about being sly, like Ninjas! One such tactic is to make people who might suspect our activities *think* we're just taking pictures of each other. For example, observe this picture of Joe. See now, to the self-minding Tee Jaye's patron, it's just a picture of Joe. The result, however...priceless. (See below) |
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Upon first glance, this pictures seems simple enough. But, of course, it'd be a shame to just leave this one alone! This here image needs full analysis. Stat. Now, those English majors like to do a little thing called "decomposition." Until recently, I thought that was a clever pun on what happens when they spend extended periods of time in Barney-Davis. But I now have a use for said technique, and shall now begin my own attempt at it. Here goes: 
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Okay, we're overdue for a mullet. Here's a mullet. Peter commented on the mullet as if that Croc Hunter dude were talking:
"ayeeee what a rippah, he must be pushin 23 inches on that mullet, what a beaut!" Take note, up front this mullet's a bowl cut. Score! |
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You know you've been to Tee Jaye's more than a few times when you begin to notice attendance patterns. For example, Molly and I have seen this particular mulleted individual (featured in the original photo documentary) at least twice. However, nothing could have prepared us for the amazing coincidence of recognizing two mulleted individuals more than once. See below. |
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You may recall this guy from the first documentary. Frightening. Peter, in response to seeing this picture the first time, allegedly uttered "parents, lock your children up." Upon perusal of the pictures from our most recent visit, we came to the realization that he has been to Tee Jaye's more than once. You be the judge: |
 That, ladies and gentlemen, is enough to give me nightmares for a week. Not only for the reason that we saw the same shady dude twice (and it is the same dude, I never forget a mullet), but because of this picture. He is looking right at us! And grinning! Ahhhhh! Definitely lock up your children! If you have no children, get some and lock them up. Their safety is in question! ::shudders:: Peter gets the photo credit on this one. In his wording: "man i think that pic is my masterpiece." I concur. | |
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Well, it is now time to indulge in some sausage gravy goodness. I trust you have been entertained. As my sister would say, "It's been real. It's been fun. But it hasn't been real fun." |
(No pun intended) |
 That's right! Now it's your turn to share your Tee Jaye's experiences! Or just comment on how much this page ruled/sucked, whichever applies. I'll post the comments as I get them. | |
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Send 'em here:
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Read 'em here:
Geocities sometimes finds it humerous to put a damned popup ad over the response, and won't let you close it. If this happens, right click on the above window and select "open frame in new window." Then you can view all the entries. |
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DISCLAIMER: "Tee Jaye's...THE SEQUEL," herein after referred to as "the page," is a personal website, and there is no official or implied affiliation with the owners of any of the Tee Jaye's Country Place Restaurants, herein after referred to as "the restaurant." Further, the page exists to serve as entertainment and a source of laughter, and no negative connotations are implied towards the restaurant. But seriously, why would I dog Tee Jaye's? It's the only damned restaurant that's open all night, which indeed is essential to the survival of any college student. If you happen to have shown up in any of the pictures, keep in mind that you're likely also on the archive tape from their surveillance cameras. Get over it. I'm just poking fun, and having a good time in the process. There's my disclaimer. Now you can't touch me. :-) |