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It's Saturday Night, 2:30 in the morning. You're drunk and you're hungry...and you already had Taco Bell on Friday. Join us as we experience Tee Jaye's, as well as the original Barnyard Buster! ...brought to you by Toolbox and his digital camera NEW 06 March 2003!Tee Jayes...THE SEQUEL is complete! Once your done here, check that mofo out! |
...the cast:
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Tom |
Pete |
Molly |
Nils ...
Lesley |
Mihkel |
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Now, just in case
the stories didn't preceed your visit, the fact that their 'please wait to be seated'
sign reads 'Howdy' might be somewhat of an indication of what is to follow. Also,
for that matter, the permanently stationed police officer in the lobby may help to
indicate that this will indeed be an experience. Peter struck up a conversation with the cop: Pete: So, ever get free food for hanging out here so often? Cop: Sometimes. Pete: Cool. Do you break up a lot of fights here? Cop: Yeah, it's kind of like hockey. Pete: Yeah, except without the hockey... Can I have my picture taken with you? Cop: No, I'd rather not. Pete: Okay, goodnight. |
| ...before things get too out of hand, allow me to take this opportunity to introduce those other Denison students who also decided to brave the cultural experience that is Tee Jaye's: |
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We shall now engage in some discussion on the magically delicious aspect of this fine institution. Of course, I am speaking of the one and only Barnyard Buster:
Actually, as Peter points out, 'Barnyard Buster' isn't really the best name the folks at Tee Jaye's could've devised for this delicacy, for multiple reasons: First, it doesn't really bust my barnyard. I don't have a barn or a yard. I'm from Hudson. Even if I did, I'd see to it that some sausage gravy-covered monstrosity didn't bust it. Second, busting barnyards is not exactly what this dish will do... Peter suggested that it should be renamed to the 'Barnyard Shitter,' since anyone who attempts to consume this thing in its entirety will inevitably spend much of the following day on the shitter. No shit. (No pun.) Nonetheless, Mihkel, being the brave individual that he was, decided to act to the contrary of our words of caution and ordered himself a Buster:
Don't say you weren't warned, Mihkel. More on the subject later in the documentary. |
| During our wait for the delicious food, we had the opportunity to make some 'casual' observations about those other people who had also chosen to visit Tee-Jayes. See, the cop described to Peter that the bars let out at 2:00, and that Tee Jaye's is the only nearby place that is still open. Thus, starting at approximately 2:15, the place gets remarkably more crowded and the cloud of smoke within gets to nearly choking levels. Observe and enjoy: |
   You know what? We were really looking to get our asses kicked, weren't we? Naahhhh, we were far too smooth for people to notice that we were photographing them... |
| Oh yeah, the Barnyard Shitter! I almost forgot about it.... This thing looks like it's going to come to life and inflict large amounts of pain on me from across the table: |
 Nonetheless, Mihkel managed to finish most of it.... And then played with the rest, quite to our amusement. I felt the need to capture this enchanting moment on video: Update: MOVIES ARE BACK! |
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Well, that's more or less our Tee Jaye's experience. So, what have we learned?
Just so long as you adhere to these three basic rules, you'll have a swingin good time at Tee Jaye's! HOLD UP! Don't go away yet! You didn't seriously think we'd head straight back to the dorm after this experience?? Hell, no. Tee Jaye's is right next door to Meijer!
Unfortunately, soon after this point I was approached by the night manager, who informed me that it is "against store policy" to use a camera. I pondered asking if their systmatic use of surveillence cameras was an exception to this policy. |
| Well, I leave you with what is likely the most flattering picture that has ever been taken of me: |
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 That's right kids! Now you can chew the fat (or Barnyard Buster) about Tee-Jaye's. Or just tell me how much this page ruled/sucked, whichever applies. Just send me your thoughts! Then I'll post the messages I get. Do this by either sending me an E-MAIL or an IM (AIM).
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That was fun. Now take me back to Tom Online. |
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(c) 2002 Tom Online. Last modified 06 December 2002. Just letting you know that there was NOT any drunk driving. He who drove was sober. Just clearing up that issue. DISCLAIMER: This page is here as a source of entertainment. Do not attempt any of these acts at home. If "home" for you happens to be Tee Jayes, you have my deepest sympathies. We risked a major ass kicking by the entire restaurant. Haaahaaaa! |
