Chapter Six
Mom told me to consider what car I wanted, as she wanted to take me out to the dealerships this coming weekend. I already knew what I wanted, and had known since before I even got Bonkura. I wanted a blue Honda Civic, but not one from the year of my birth. I wanted one from the year of my graduation, 2005. When I said this, Mom nodded in acceptance. Result! Dad and Mike both gave me money. Of course, Dad was able to give a larger amount, but the sentiment was still there with Mike, who is, after all, just a middle school kid. I was lucky to have $10 to my name in middle school.
I also feel like a total idiot because of how I lashed out at Rajani on Valentine�s Day. I think she realized this today, because when I picked her up, she didn�t mention Stephen even once. She seemed to be sitting strangely, but didn�t make any mention of it until we got to school, when she gave me a wrapped box shortly before exiting the car. Of course, I love surprises, so I tore open the box immediately. On top of something else was a letter written on plain notebook paper, but with purple pen. Such is Rajani�take something so plain and boring and make it her own with a bit of embellishing.
This is the second apology letter I�ve received in a week. I must be on a roll. In this letter, Rajani belittles herself while apologizing to me for acting so boy-crazy. She realized my position on the delicate subject of the male species and promises to do a better job of thinking before she speaks in the future. I thought the letter was pretty sweet all by itself, but it wasn�t alone in that box. It wasn�t alone because there was also a pink faux-leather photo album in that box, a pink photo album that carried a bit of girth.
I said I loved surprises, didn�t I?
I opened up this book and the first page jumped out at me because it was written in gold on plain white paper. It was to serve as a sort of title page, I guess�a statement of things to come. The gold, curling letters read �Eva and Rajani�s Super Memory Book of Awesomeness!� There was a part of me that protested, saying �Awesomeness� isn�t technically a word, but I smothered that part for the time being as I flipped through pages of us dressed in PCPS kindergarten uniforms, futzing around on the playground. I always loved the slides. Rajani�s mom was one of the monitors for our kindergarten class, which is how there were so many pictures.
I went through the elementary school stage�new uniforms, hairstyles, and hobbies�and into the awkward middle school stage. You could see my mood towards school darken somewhat throughout these days as I went through my equally awkward punk phase. I would wear black nail polish and get angry when told to remove it before the next school day. I would tease my hair up into odd angles and ring my eyes like a raccoon�s using black kohl eyeliner. In some of the pictures, I�m even flipping off the camera. The whole time, Rajani poses with me, but not dressed like me, the steady anchor in my life, even when I felt there was no point to it.
There are a few faded scars on my wrist to tell that story.
High school pictures, vacation pictures, camp pictures, candid pictures�Rajani had it all wrapped up right here in this book. It felt almost too precious for me to be holding, like an artifact in a museum. I carefully placed it back in the box and made sure it was safe in my back seat, though I�m pretty sure nobody would try to steal a pink box from my car. Well, you never know.
When I saw Chris, he smacked my ass nineteen times, with the last one added on for good luck. What a weird tradition.
If asked by anyone, I would tell them it was my eighteenth birthday, which usually prompted them to break out into song. This wasn�t the glum, emotionless rendering of �Happy Birthday� that was featured in Office Space, though. Even people who didn�t like me that much smiled and sang. I felt like the President or the Pope or someone who�s come to visit and is being fabulously honored by the citizenry. Elbow elbow, wrist wrist!
Rajani and Chris, when told that I planned to get a four-door car this time, praised the Lord and both demanded to take a ride in the car as soon as it was purchased. I didn�t tell either of them about Boss� note�Rajani knows him only as the hunka hunka burnin� love and Chris doesn�t know he exists at all. I�m sure the time will come for me to tell them about him, if in a sanitized format, censoring the whole assassin part.
Of course, neither of the �rents were home when I got home, so I had some time to myself. I kicked out of my stuffy school shoes, turned up the music on my computer (which, by the way, was a well-received 17th birthday present), and made up some interpretative dances to the songs on my iTunes playlist, all involving heartfelt singing. I didn�t hear the �rents come home with cake, but they dispatched Mike to fetch me and he caught me in the middle of some impassioned dancing to a Michiyo Heike song. I still get embarrassed when caught singing and dancing in front of people, I don�t know why.
�Hey, weirdo,� he addressed me. �Mom and Dad want you upstairs.�
The princess has been summoned! I followed my temporary escort upstairs, where I was greeted by the two people who will always honor me best on events such as this one. They tempted me with chocolate cake with fudge icing and I ate accordingly before excusing myself to go do some homework. I was just about to finally get the answer to a long Algebra problem when my phone rang, jarring me out of math land.
�Hello?� I answered, knocking over my book to reach my phone.
�Hey, it�s me.� Of course I can pin this voice down now! �Look out your door.� I gamely went over to my door and saw Boss, smiling, holding his phone to his ear. I couldn�t see much else�damn this height deficiency�but I shut my phone, put it aside, and threw open the door. Boss was standing there, dressed in normal Boss attire, holding a bouquet of pink roses in one hand and a backpack in the other.
�Hi,� I said shyly.
�Happy birthday,� he told me, giving me the roses, which I immediately stuck my nose right in. I scurried around my room, trying to find something to put these roses in until my mom could find me a real vase. Eventually, I found an old Mason jar and filled it with water in my bathroom, sneakily putting on some mascara and lip gloss as I filled the jar. I transplanted the roses and put them on my windowsill.
�So, what�s the backpack for?� I inquired, pointing to it. �Want me to help you with your homework?�
�Very funny, birthday girl,� Boss told me with a sarcastic sneer. ��Sides, look like you need help with yours.� He pointed to my book, discarded on the floor.
�It can wait.�
�Come on, let�s go.�
�Shouldn�t I change�?� I suggested, tugging on my skirt hem as I slipped into some sneakers.
�Naw. It�s not like we�re going to the Ritz or anything.� Boss smiled at me, a smile that aimed directly for my heart and made it feel good. �Come on.� He offered his arm to me�like this is prom or something�and I good-naturedly took it. He took me outside and I made sure my door was locked. I don�t want anyone jacking my stuff! Instead of leading me up towards where a motor-powered coach (that�s a car, I�m just still pretending to be a princess) would be waiting, he led me down the beach, which is quite beautiful at night. There�s almost nobody out, either, except for a few intrepid families wanting to get some cool seashells. They mind their own business, too, with their flashlights swooping across the sand, away from us.
�So, where are we going?� I have insatiable curiosity.
�Just you wait, birthday girl. It�s kind of a surprise.�
Well, it took a little while of trudging down the beach to get to, but eventually we arrived at the surprise�a patch of beach that was set away from most of Panama City Beach. Acting as if this were programmed into his brain, Boss immediately set the backpack down, opened it, and lugged out what appeared to be a comforter, setting it down on the sand. Upon the comforter, he placed all sorts of food that came forth from this backpack, like someone at the nearby Publix was just handing him stuff throughout an inter-dimensional hole in the fabric of the backpack. I know I saw some sandwiches and stuff and wondered how I would eat it all. Boss topped this all off with bottled water�he knows I don�t drink soda!
Oh, I can just feel the extra weight on me now.
�So you decided to pack me a real picnic, huh?� I asked, displaying a small smile and allowing Boss to determine his own meaning from it.
�Well, there are no fancy restaurants around here, so I figured why not? Unless you call somewhere like Main Moon fancy, of course.�
�Oh, don�t be hatin� on Main Moon. They serve some damn good food,� I said defensively as I cracked open one of the bottles of water.
Here�s what I was given that night for dinner, which made me regret that earlier piece of cake: turkey, tuna, and ham sandwiches, �tater chips� (his words, not mine), cornbread, and a cupcake decorated with those number birthday candles in the shape of 18. To add insult to injury, the cupcake was chocolate, which is only my favorite taste ever.
After the meal, I felt like I couldn�t walk well, I was so bloated from all the food. I think Boss realized this, because he helped me back to my house the same way he led me down to the beach, hand-in-arm, as I trudged along, kicking up sand just to watch it blow away. Part of me was just trying to verify that I was still on Earth, because my mind was in dreamland. You know how Homer Simpson always thinks all these weird, irregular thoughts anytime he summons his brain to produce a thought? Right now, I am thinking very much like that. My mind is a leaky spigot that I can�t seem to fix, not even with the wrench of shut up.
See? I�m making obtuse plumbing metaphors now. Where is my mind?
We returned to my side door, yet another journey that I didn�t want to end, and I stood there waiting for a moment, smiling dreamily.
�I think I�m going to gain like five pounds from this,� I blurted out. Where�s the wrench when you need it?
�You women worry far too much about weight. Do you want to know the truth, straight from a man�s mouth?� He smiled at me, which made me want to find out! �We still think you�re beautiful anyway.�
�Are you insinuating something?� I asked bashfully.
�Maybe I am. Tell me what you�re thinkin� of.�
�Are you trying to say that I�m beautiful?� Boss did not dignify this statement with an immediate reply, which led me to flop sweat and worry that I just made a spectacular ass of myself, though nobody else was around to see. After a few seconds of flop sweat on my part, though, Boss decided to reply to my query. However, he chose a different route to tell me what he was thinking. He used his mouth, sure, but not as I thought he would.
Instead of vocalizing his reply, he leaned in and kissed me. Whoa, holy shit, call CNN! Unbelievable, ain�t it? These are all thoughts I thought later, after the fact, because during the fact, I was a bit too shocked to believe this was even happening to me. Actually, this has never happened to me before, so I�m almost entirely sure that I didn�t do too well. It was too much to believe. I was sure I was dreaming again, but then my elbow rubbed up against the siding on my house and I could feel a dull, pain-like sensation that told me this clearly was not a dream. There�ll be a scratch there tomorrow.
It was only everything I�d ever wanted from him, and I didn�t want it to end, even though, realistically, it eventually did. This left me with a drowsy, dreamlike feeling (still!) and I launched forth into Boss� arms, not wanting to leave.
�Damn, I�ve never been happier on someone else�s birthday before in my life,� Boss told me. �Come on, you need to get back inside.� He pried me off of him, which I�m sure was a feat in itself, and sent me off with the promises of calls at later times. I floated back into my room, shut my door, and leapt onto my bed, feeling what it was like to be this kind of happy.
I noticed that I didn�t dream about boys that night.
Two school days stood between Saturday, the day Mom promised to take me out to the dealership for a car. Rajani noticed something had changed in me, but she didn�t outright ask me what was up. I didn�t know how I would be able to tell her yet, anyway. I know I will have to make something up. So, I sat in class and made up some personas. I needed to craft a fake background story for Boss and a name.
Maybe I could say that he goes to college nearby. That could reasonably explain an age gap�oh fuck, I can�t use our real age gap. Though I�m legal now and can legally do whatever the hell I want, people still frown upon a five-year gap. My parents, especially, may not enjoy such a gap.
By the end of the day, I have it all figured out. Boss is now a student at Gulf Coast Community College. I don�t know as of yet what he�s studying (figured he�d get some input on this, too, so I�ll ask him). He is now 20 years old. His name is now�I�ll call him Gabe because that�s what everyone else seems to call him. I told him of this grand plan over the phone that night after taking Rajani home and doing my homework.
�Make me study English,� he told me.
�Okay, Gabe,� I said teasingly.
�You�re really going to call me that?�
�Well, I have to eventually introduce you to my parents, and though they�re really kind people, they wouldn�t take well to a guy who calls himself Boss. No offense or anything, Boss.�
�It�s okay. So, when are you getting your new car and finally junking that old one?�
�Ugh! Is that all you care about?� I was just joking with him.
�Of course not, but it�s interesting.�
�I�m going to get my car on Saturday. And yes, I will let you ride in it. But only if you ask nicely.�
�Please, Eva, let me ride in what I�m sure will be a pimped-out ride compared to what you have now.�
�You ask nicely very well. Sure, you can ride in my new car.�
---
My new car. Three words I haven�t said in quite a long time, since I got sweet old Bonkura. Rajani came over to help me clean Bonkura out on Friday night, putting things into 2 different piles, toss and keep. Once we were finished, toss would be separated further into Goodwill toss and Trash toss.
�Look at this, this is my workbook from driver�s ed class!� I cried, holding a green workbook aloft. On the front was a really ghetto clip-art picture of a car, which I ever-so-cleverly decorated with large rims, a flame pattern, and a spoiler. �Wow, what memories. Wasn�t the Dream Team together in that class?�
�Yes, we all were. Remember how Chris would always get that horrible rust-colored Datsun? The one that didn�t have power steering?� Rajani asked me.
�Yeah! He said that his arms would ache after he drove it. But, that car did make his arms more toned,� I pointed out.
�Eva, stop being such a fag hag,� Rajani said jokingly. �I haven�t met his boyfriend yet. What�s he called? David, I think.� She looked over a forlorn project from one of my art classes before I settled on photography as my main medium. �Dang, Eva, what were you on when you made this? Crack co-caine?� she asked, making the word cocaine sound weird.
�Nah, I don�t have much of a taste for the cocaina,� I replied, utilizing my fake Spanish accent to the fullest extent. �As for David, that makes two boyfriends you haven�t met.�
�Two? Chris had a boyfriend before now?� Rajani was counting on her fingers, unaware that I was talking about Boss�er, Gabe.
�No, I�m talking about me.� This caused Rajani to frown at me.
�Eva, please tell me you�re not joking. I won�t believe your cry of wolf this time, sweetie.�
�I�m as serious as a Dick Cheney heart attack!� I protested. What would happen if he really had a heart attack? Would we have to choose a new Vice President? I need to bone up on my Government and find out.
�Eva, you have a boyfriend?!� Rajani squealed. I nodded and she tackled me, hugging me so tightly I thought I felt my rib cage get a bit tighter. �Oh my God, that�s so awesome! Who is he? What�s he look like? Is he cute? Older? Younger?�
�Calm down and I will answer all, young grasshopper,� I commanded, getting Rajani off me. �I am now the girlfriend of the hunka hunka burnin� love. However, he has a name, and that is Gabe.�
�Mm-hmm,� Rajani said, nodding her approval.
�He�s 20 and goes to Gulf Coast to save some money. He�s studying English.�
�Oh, I�m sure he�s well-read and educated then, right?� Rajani asked.
�Absolutely, Oprah,� I said in a faux-Dr. Phil voice.
�Have you two gone on any dates?�
�He took me out on a picnic on my birthday, but that�s it.� I shrugged. At this point, I felt like I was starting to brag too much, so I laid off on the details.
�I could tell something wasn�t quite the same with you lately,� Rajani told me cryptically.
�What�s that supposed to mean?� I blurted out.
�Intuition,� she replied, tapping her temple.
�Okay, now I know you�re just making up bullshit!�
�I�ll show you my intuition,� she said with a renewed determination. �Here. I�ll ask you a question and your honest answer will be revealed to me even if you don�t outright say it.� I snickered to show her what I thought of her plan. �You might think I�m crazy now, but when I�m right, you�ll be sorry!�
�Ask away, Barbara Walters.�
�All right, all right.� Rajani looked straight at me. �Have you kissed him?�
I faltered, knowing very much that I was smiling and blushing. Rajani�s got me all figured out.
---
The new car kicks ass! I have no idea what to name it yet, though. Now, I�m going to act like a proud car owner and brag about it. It�s a brand-new Honda Civic Coupe, EX level, which means it�s got all the bells and whistles. It even has a moonroof, leather seats, and audio controls mounted on the steering wheel. I went ahead and got the manual transmission one because a) I already know how to drive manual, so why not, and b) it cost about $1,000 less than an automatic. The new car, which needs a name, is a cobalt blue color. Cobalt, cobalt�I think I can work with that name.
My new car is now named Cobalt.
I told the parents I would drive Cobalt around and drove it over to Boss� place. He said I could just come over any time. Is this normal behavior for a relationship like ours? I have no idea because I have no prerequisites. I tried to stop thinking about my lack of prerequisites as I pressed his doorbell. Instead of him coming to answer, I saw a pretty attractive young man answer. He had long, shaggy black hair and honey brown eyes.
�Um, hi,� I muttered. �I�m sorry, do I have the wrong house?� I felt nervous and sort of nauseous, too.
�Hey Gabe, who is the most attractive brunette on your doorstep?� the guy yelled back into the loft.
�Oh, is Gabe here?� I asked, cheering up.
�Yes he is, sweetie. Are you on the guest list?�
�Guest list?� Now I�m baffled and I know it�s showing.
�Hah! Look at you, so confused. No, no, there�s not really a guest list. Come on in.� I stepped inside and, before I could even find a place to put my purse, Boss came over.
�Ah, Robbie, this is Eva, my new girlfriend.�
�Bad-ass!� Robbie declared, shaking my hand. I�m not used to any of this�
�Robbie and I go way back. We haven�t seen each other since I moved away from Dallas, which was�� Boss faltered.
�6 years ago,� Robbie finished. �I�ve been living in Dallas ever since, but I got sick of the Texas scene, so I decided to try out Florida for a while.�
�Well, I�m not sure why you�d choose Panama City Beach,� I replied honestly. �We kind of suck.� Honestly, it seems like he would be better suited towards South Beach. Wait a minute.
�I came here because Gabe was here! And because the property�s still pretty cheap in comparison to other places,� Robbie explained. �Like South Beach.� He looked at me and I realized it immediately. Robbie is just like Chris. Of course, that�s not bad. I�d be betraying one of my oldest friends if I suddenly swapped my ideology out for a homophobic one. I�m just now realizing that Boss� friend is gay, too. I smiled nervously. �But Gabe, tell me about Eva! Last time I saw you, you were��
�Yeah, it was the end of the reign of Jade.� At the mere mention of Jade, Boss� face darkened. I didn�t want to ask who she was because of this reaction, but now I really want to know. �Well, I moved here, obviously, and finished out high school. Then, a bad hurricane came through and my parents decided to go back to Texas, but I wanted to stay here because I knew if I went back to Dallas that Jade would find me somehow. So, Mom and Dad helped me find this place and move in. And here I am now.�
�Are you at a college?� Robbie inquired.
�No, I�m taking a break from academia.�
�That�s cool. I got my bachelor�s degree and figured that the opportunities for a marine biologist would be much better here, which is another reason I came. The Gulf of Mexico is just so fascinating, huh? I met someone over Craigslist who has a little boat and I�m thinking of buying it just to go tool around the gulf in.�
�Just don�t go swimming on a red flag day,� I advised, grinning.
�That�s how we met,� Boss explained to Robbie.
�Oh, really?� Robbie asked, arching an eyebrow.
�Yeah. I was working at one of those ghetto beachside snack shacks, but I was taking a break and this one here�� I jabbed my index finger into Boss� arm, ��decided it would be an awesome idea to go surfing, of all things, on a red flag day. Needless to say, he didn�t do much surfing and he washed ashore.� Robbie laughed. �I was never taught CPR, either, so I decided that I would just bitch-slap him and hope that he would start breathing again. And he did!� I concluded my tale by clapping my hands together once.
�That�s so cute,� Robbie said with a grin. �Tell me a bit about yourself, Eva.�
�What do you want to know?�
�The basics, really. Right now, I don�t know much.�
�That�s true. Well, I just recently turned eighteen. I�m about to finish high school over at Panama City Prep. If you ever get an opportunity to go there, pass on it. It�s filled with people who clearly have too much money. Anyway, my school really wants everyone to know exactly what college they want to go to and what major they want to study, but I don�t want to do that yet because I�m unsure of what I�d want to do. So, I�m considered an anomaly at the school. I like photography, so I could go somewhere with that someday. Eh, who knows?�
�Well, Eva, you sound like an interesting person to me. Gabe, you�re a lucky man.� I saw Boss beaming at his friend like never before.
CONTINUE to Chapter Seven
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