Hi. I am Diane. Born on December 13 1963. I have a twin sister whos name is Donna. She was actually born 7 minutes before me. We grew up being best friends.
We were raised Christian, all though some of our life was hard. Some people say that we were raised in a stricted Christian home. Some people say we were controlled to much. Being told how to do things when to do things. Ask how high to jump when told to jump, that sort of thing. What ever you want to call the term for the way we were raised, it left me feeling very rebellious, and not respected for my thoughts or ideas. I felt as though I couldn't be myself. I once had a theropist say I was raised to fear my parents. I lived in fear of not making them happy or I was worried that I would disapoint them, which in turn makes me live in fear to this day. I run myself ragged trying to make sure every one is happy. I have since found out that that is virtually impossible.
After graduation, I married to fast, had 2 kids with a man I wasn't so sure of what he was all about. I was only wanting to get out of my parents house now that I look back. I went from a bad situation at home to a worse one with what is now my ex husband. He was a womenizer, and a very sneaky person. The type of person you never really knew if he was lying or telling the truth. He also was a very self centered person and to this day is still the same way. I then divorced him and went on to loser number 2.
I never married the father of my third child. He was a nitemare in and of himself. He was a drunk and drug user. The only way I could stay in the same room with him or tolorate him was to be drunk myself. He was abusive too. One nite he hit me in the forhead leaving a huge knott on my head and then threw my coffee table through my entertainment stand, picked up a shard of glass shaped like a curved knife, then turned on me. I shot out of the house so fast and ran about 2 miles to a doughnut shop where in my mind I knew I would find a cop. They came and took my "Boyfriend" away and even gave me a restraining order against him. I was dumb enough to let him back the next day. Eventually, after 4 years I grew strong enough and kicked him out only after speaking to a social worker about it and the office to the place that I was renting. (the social worker I worked closely with because I had helped my "Boyfriend" get custody of his oldest daughter that he didn't even want to claim in the first place)
I met my husband that I am married to now through a close friend. She siad he wasnt into drinking and drugging it. I was afraid though because her boyfriend that just happend to be a friend of my now husband is basically dying from alcoholizm. I just knew in my heart that my now husband was also a drinker. He was not. In fact is an awesome man. He took me and my 3 kids in and eventually married me. One problem though,... he's not what I consider to be a TRUE believer in Jesus Christ. He is more like the sort of person that believes that God exsists, and even says Praise the Lord once in a while, but does not walk the Christian way of life at all. He doesn't understand the importance of Christian fellowship. He still curses on a regular basis. And sometimes even denies God when things get tough. I am still praying for him every day that he finally sees the true light and askes God for forgiveness and askes Jesus to come into his heart to live and rule. My husband is a hard headed man and I at times feel his heart has become stone because of the stress he deals with at work and at home. Being a Christian women its hard to accept somethings, even his choice in movies and so on. It's a constant struggle between what is good and bad. And I feel that if he only listened to God things would be much easier.
My grandmother passed away in 1994. I wasn't walking with God at all. In fact I was living with my now husband before we were even married. My grandmother was an awesome person. A good Christian lady. Well when she passed on, it really shook me up. I thought to myself, " where is grandma now?" I knew in my heart where she was. It really made God real and alive for me at that moment. I at that time was not in the financial state to move out of my Now husbands house, but We did take turns sleeping on the couch. I explained to him my convictions and he was respectful of them NEXT~~>
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