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| Episode Twelve |
| Look! A Giant Giraffe! |
| On the last episode, those six main characters appeared in the Village of Balance. From then on�A lot of weird stuff happened. After looting the town, Cobalt, Copper, Master, Dark Ice and Snow well from the sky, killing all the villagers! Through the strange use of fish and explosives, the group of five was KO�d and the Village of Balance was disintegrated. But most importantly, they found a strange, glowy purple diamond thingy�Or at least a shard of it. -------------------------------------------------- Windbreaker examines the Shard of Power. WINDBREAKER: Hmm�We can�t eat it, so� He throws it on the floor and stomps on it. PEACE: WINDBREAKER!!! She punches Windbreaker in the face, knocking him into a conveniently placed tree. TYPHOON: Would this be the pent up rage of Axem Peace? PEACE: Shut up, Typhoon. She grabs the shard and puts it into her Axem Pockets that Don�t Exist. PEACE: Whatever it is, it seems valuable. And since this is only one piece of it, there must be more. STRIFE: Let�s hope it doesn�t lead us down a journey where we almost get killed several times! MERCENARY: It probably will now! Seeing as Strife said that and all� WINDBREAKER: (Rubbing his head) So let�s get going! PEACE: Wait! We need to help the survivors! TYPHOON: �Why? PEACE: Because uh�Scene change! LORD OF SOP: Psh, now you want one� -------------------------------------------------- Our camera now focuses in front of the CAVE OF NO RETURN. The combined force of the Villages of Guardians and Blades (Which is only six Axems/Jr. Koopas) stand in front. TITANIUM: Um�We�ve been standing here for quite a while, ya know. AARDVARK: Yeah, ever since Episode Ten! MINJO: I think we�re only standing here until the Lord of SoP makes a corny joke. So then several hours pass until� Knight spontaneously falls over. Night fell. KNIGHT: I don�t like that joke� SAPPHIRE: No one does. HASAKI: CAVE! TITANIUM: OK, let�s enter! LORD OF SOP: Wait! Let�s change the scene again! -------------------------------------------------- Back to the group of idi-I mean, main characters� The Village of Balance fighters are now awake. COBALT: Well, it�s night time. Let�s have dinner! COPPER: Or we coud set da tents up for da nite, yo! WINDBREAKER: Or we could eat dinner� EVERYONE ELSE: Agreed! PEACE: Wait! I didn�t say that! LORD OF SOP: Stop arguing! Just accept! MERCENARY: Well, let�s see what we have to work with. They pull out everything they have from their Pockets that Don�t Exist. In the end, they have a collection of two PEZ dispensers, a portable gourmet chef, and four RVs. Oh, and the Shard of Power. CHEF KAWASAKI: I thought I was on Pop Star! How did I get here? TYPHOON: [Raising his sword] Just shut up and get me my dinner. Ya dig? KAWASAKI: Not really. I only have PEZ to work with here! IMAGE: Oh well. We have RVs now! -------------------------------------------------- An hour later� KAWASAKI: Dinner�s ready! COBALT: (Instant appearance) WOOHOO! Kawasaki reveals his course of Deluxe Feasts. IMAGE: And to think, this was made ONLY with PEZ! KAWASAKI: Er� MERCENARY: Uncertainty�Which means there�s more than just PEZ in this! STRIFE: Who cares?! FOOD! Without questioning any further, the eleven eat the Deluxe Feasts. Kawasaki uses this time to run away. MASTER: Well that was weird. DARK ICE: Is it me, or is there gasoline in this� SNOW: And tires� WINDBREAKER: And other assorted essential RV parts� -------------------------------------------------- Back at the cave� Since they were in there for nearly an hour, they�ve come to the part where they can�t return. KNIGHT: Well this isn�t honorable� The Lord of SoP strikes him down with lightning (somehow). KNIGHT: Ow� SAPPHIRE: If this is a cave of no return, what could be so unreturnable about it? When suddenly� RADIOACTIVE ANTS APPEAR! ANTS: Hiya. The ants fire laser beams out of their antennae. TITANIUM: Well that�s interesting. The Village of Guardians fighters jump in front to take the hits, receiving no damage because of their high defense. HASAKI: EXCLUDED! NOTE: Hasaki also has 10/10 Defense. AARDVARK: Can I kill them? SAPPHIRE: Sure! TITANIUM: SILENCE! Titanium�s bellow causes several rocks to fall from the ceiling, squishing the ants. AARDVARK: �For the record, I get to kill the next ones. Radioactive radishes approach next. AARDVARK: ...But I�ll pass. Hasaki jumps in and punches the radishes out, exploding on contact. HASAKI: OW! He loses 40 HP. AXEM HASAKI: 260/300 KNIGHT: That was weird. They proceed through the cave until they find an unusually huge room. MINJO: Probably for an unusually huge monster that will appear and rip our bodies apart. TITANIUM: SILENCE! AARDVARK: Would you stop that? TITANIUM: SILENCE! Suddenly, an unusually huge monster appears! And just for the heck of it, it�s a giraffe! GIANT GIRAFFE: �Say, what sound does a giraffe make? EVERYONE ELSE: UH� (Capitalized for the sake of Hasaki) They all shrug. GIANT GIRAFFE: Fine, I�ll just roar like everything else. ROOOOAAARRR!!! SAPPHIRE: Well we�re kind of screwed� KNIGHT: [Drawing his sword] And there�s only one way to deal with this� He puts back his sword and throws Aardvark in front of the giraffe. KNIGHT: �And that�s to choose who wanted the fight before the radishes. AARDVARK: Psh, fine. GIANT GIRAFFE: 2000/2000 AXEM AARDVARK: 601/601 Aardvark slams his fist on the ground, creating a shockwave across the room. Since the shockwave can hit friends and foes (Unlike a few attacks that can somehow tell the difference), everyone in the room jumps before they get hurt. The Giant Giraffe hits its head on the ceiling and loses 200 HP. GIANT GIRAFFE: 1800/2000 LORD OF SOP: I guess this is a real fight then! AARDVARK: Seeing that is a winning strategy, I should use it for the rest of the fight!...But that wouldn�t be interesting! He extends his arms and two small aardvarks appear for no good reason at all. NOTE: The preceding was brought to you Mercenary�s Book of Copyrighted Humor. The giant giraffe bends his neck down and�Eats the aardvarks. GIANT GIRAFFE: MWAHAHA! SAPPHIRE: Wait a second�I thought a giraffe�s dental structure made it strictly vegetarian! GIANT GIRAFFE: Uh� The Giraffe AND The Cave of No Return disappear. Everyone is just standing in the woods. MINJO: Well that was weird. AGAIN. TITANIUM: But look over there! Something probably important! An elaborated treasure box is a few feet away. They open it immediately to find� SAPPHIRE: A kitty! KITTEN: Meow! But more importantly� A SHARD OF POWER!!! AARDVARK: So what was the point of these again? LORD OF SOP: Uh� END OF EPISODE TWELVE |