| The Adventures of Jamey |
 |
| Word Up Dawg! |
| What happened last time, you ask? Let me tell you! With Really Evil Person Who�s Really Evil Man vanquished, Jamey reaches for the Moderator Pizza Slicer, but it�s gone! For absolutely no reason! How will Jamey deal with this horrendous catastrophe? JAMEY: Hey everybody! Let�s have a pizza party! EVERYBODY: Yay. JAMEY: Everyone�s invited! AUDIENCE: Yay. JAMEY: Except for you. AUDIENCE: Um� non yay. META KNIGHT #6: Word up dawg! Suddenly, Really Evil Person Who�s Really Evil Man appears on the horizon flying his GIANT TETRAHEDRON OF DEATH toward Jamey! REALLY EVIL PERSON WHO�S REALLY EVIL MAN: MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! WITH THE MODERATOR KNIFE I WILL FINALLY BE ABLE TO CONQUER ALL OF DOWNTOWN PITTSBURGH!!! JAMEY: Hey! Didn�t you read the opening? I vanquished you! REALLY EVIL PERSON WHO�S REALLY EVIL MAN: MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I DON�T CARE!!! I�M A REALLY EVIL PERSON WHO�S REALLY EVIL!!! MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Really Evil Person Who�s Really Evil Man flies away laughing like a really evil person who�s really evil. JAMEY: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! MY LIFE IS OVE- hey look a butterfly! Jamey chases the butterfly until it gets hit by a car. JAMEY: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! MY LIFE IS OVE- hey who are you? A 20 foot tall guy wearing a black suit and black sunglasses steps out of the car. GUY: I'm from the IRS. You're overdue on your taxes! JAMEY: I don't pay taxes! GUY: Exactly! JAMEY: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! MY LIFE IS OVE- GUY: But if you can beat me in a game of chess I will let you go AND tell you where to find the next moderator item, not to mention give you 80000 free hours of AOL!!! JAMEY: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! MY LIFE IS OVER!!! Guy tears off his suit and reveals that he's actually a scrawny nerd with really thick glasses. HEAD OF LETTUCE: JAMEY: You�re right, this DOES sound a lot like THE ADVENTURES OF JAMEY � Episode 3 � Chess and Burger King! Hey! You�re not supposed to know that! Now get on with the story! JAMEY: Ok. NERDY VOICE NERD: Hey! What about me? HEAD OF LETTUCE: Head of Lettuce throws Nerdface out the window. UM� NERD: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! JAMEY: Good work, Head of Lettuce. Now for the Moderator Pizza Slicer! META KNIGHT #6: Word up dawg! Silence. JAMEY: So, how�s that pizza taste? Head of Lettuce takes a bite of the pizza. HEAD OF LETTUCE: JAMEY: Oh no! It�s poison pizza! What do we do? Meta Knight #6, what do you think? META KNIGHT #6: Word up dawg! JAMEY: That�s right! We SHOULD take Head of Lettuce to Magic Antidote Island! So Jamey, Head of Lettuce, and Meta Knight #6 hop into the Moderator Gravy Boat and sail for a couple of words until the reach� MAGIC ANTIDOTE ISLAND!!! JAMEY: I just said where we were going, you don�t gotta do the caps thing. OH, SORRY!!! JAMEY: Will you stop that? �NO. META KNIGHT #6: Word up dawg! Suddenly a GIANT RADIOACTIVE PIE BEAST appears! GIANT RADIOACTIVE PIE BEAST: RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAA AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!! MARIO: That�s-a one-a big-a meatball! ONE-A BIG-A MEATBALL: Why thank you. Then the giant radioactive pie beast summons a million pies from the sky, killing everyone! THE END!!! But then Jamey comes around with his moderator fork and stabs them all back to life. THE BEGINNING!!! Then Jamey picks up a pie and chucks it at the radioactive pie beast. JAMEY: Eat this! META KNIGHT #6: Word up dawg! JAMEY: That�s right, no pun intended. The pie hits the giant radioactive pie beast and it explodes in a giant fruity explosion! HOMER: Mmm� Blueberry� HEAD OF LETTUCE: JAMEY: That�s right, the fruity explosion must have cured you of the posion. For absolutely no reason! But then Jamey sees laying on the ground� JAMEY: A screwdriver! No, next to that. JAMEY: Oh, you mean the 1967 Buick Skylark? No, on the other side. JAMEY: It�s� THE MODERATOR PIZZA SLICER!!! AUDIENCE: Yay. JAMEY: Yes! I got another mod item! But suddenly, Really Evil Person Who�s Really Evil Man appears on his FLYING SUBMARINE OF DOOM and flies at Jamey and steals the Moderator Pizza Slicer! JAMEY: I thought you were busy conquering all of Downtown Pittsburgh! REALLY EVIL PERSON WHO�S REALLY EVIL MAN: I DON�T NEED TO, BECAUSE NOW THAT I HAVE THE MODERATOR PIZZA SLICER I CAN CONQUER ALL OF DOWNTOWN CLEVELAND!!! MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! JAMEY: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! MY LIFE IS OVE- hey look a butterfly! WILL JAMEY EVER ACTUALLY GET THE MODERATOR PIZZA SLICER?????????????????????????? WILL THAT BUTTERFLY EVER GO AWAY????????????????????????????? WILL META KNIGHT #6 EVER LEARN A NEW CATCH PHRASE?????????????????????? FIND OUT NEXT TIME ON THE ADVENTURES OF JAMEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |