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| Episode Three |
| Chess and Burger King! |
| As we last left Jamey, he was having a vivid conversation with a telemarketer. JAMEY: So you're saying I can get local AND long distance for ONE LOW MONTHLY PRICE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!... TELEMARKETER: Sir, I- JAMEY: Wait, I'm not done yet! Where was I... Oh yeah!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! TELEMARKETER: Sir? JAMEY: ?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? TELEMARKETER: Sir! JAMEY: ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? TELEMARKETER: SIR! JAMEY: ?!?!?!?!?!? The telemarketer hangs up. JAMEY: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! MY LIFE IS OVE- hey look, a butterfly! Jamey chases the butterfly until it gets hit by a car. JAMEY: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! MY LIFE IS OVE- hey who are you? A 20-foot-tall guy wearing a black suit and black sunglasses steps out of the car. GUY: I'm from the IRS. You're overdue on your taxes! JAMEY: I don't pay taxes! GUY: Exactly! JAMEY: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! MY LI- GUY: But if you can beat me in a game of chess I will let you go AND tell you where to find the next moderator item, not to mention give you 80000 free hours of AOL!!! JAMEY: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! MY LIFE IS OVER!!! Guy tears off his suit and reveals that he's actually a scrawny nerd with really thick glasses. NERD GUY (in a really annoying voice): Let the extreme chess begin!!! A chess board appears out of nowhere. NERD GUY WITH THE REALLY ANNOYING VOICE: Your move! JAMEY: Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm� A NOYING NERD WITH THE VOICE: Make a move! JAMEY: Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm� NERD WITH THE VOICE THAT'S ANNOYING: Come on, make a move... JAMEY: Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm� ANNOYING VOICE NERD GUY: JUST MAKE A MOVE ALREADY!!! JAMEY: Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm� NERDY MCNERD WITH THE ANNOYING NERDY HIGH PITCHED NERDY VOICE CAUSE HE'S A NERD: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! JAMEY: Ok. Jamey moves a pawn one space forward. JAMEY: Checkmate. NERD NERD NERD NERD ANNOYING VOICE NERD NERD NERD: NNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I CAN'T LOSE!!!! NONONONONONO... JAMEY: Hey... NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRRRRDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD (with the annoying voice): Wait, I'm not done yet! Where was I... oh yeah! NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO JAMEY: Ok... Mr. Nerd Face Who Has An Annoying Voice goes into spasms on the ground. Jamey walks away, but falls into a plot hole just lying in the middle of the street. JAMEY: YOU MORON! WHAT A STUPID PLACE FOR A PLOT HOLE!!! Shut up! Anyway, as Jamey falls he ends up inside a Burger King, where he orders a cheeseburger (minus the cheese and the burger). JAMEY: Mmmmmmmm! A bun with ketchup, mustard, pickles and onions inside! Jamey bites into the cheeseless, burgerless cheeseburger until he feels something hard inside and pulls out... JAMEY: A screwdriver? No, the other hard thing in there. JAMEY: Oh, you mean the 1967 Buick Skylark. No, try again. JAMEY: *Sound of surprise, something like HUWAEEOO? Or something like that* Inside the burger was... THE MODERATOR SPOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WITH ONE ITEM DOWN AND AS MANY AS I CAN HUMANELY THINK OF LEFT TO GO, JAMEY IS ALMOST (hahahahahahahahahahaha) CLOSE TO FINISHING HIS QUEST OF STOPPING REALLY EVIL PERSON WHO'S REALLY EVIL MAN FROM ENSLAVING ALL OF MADAGASCAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BUT WILL JAMEY EVER FIND A TELEPHONE SERVICE WITH BOTH LOCAL AND LONG DISTANCE FOR ONE LOW LOW PRICE????????????????????????????? FIND OUT NEXT TIME ON THE ADVENTURE OF JAMEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |