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| Episode Nine |
| Lettuce on the Rampage! |
| Last time on THE ADVENTURES OF JAMEY, Jamey, Head of Lettuce, and Meta Knight #6 went to Magic Antidote Island and fought a really big pie! Then Really Evil Person Who�s Really Evil Man stole the Moderator Pizza Slicer from Jamey, effectively prolonging this chain of events! What wacky piece of crap will happen this time? Wait and see! Well, you don�t really need to wait, its right down there. Well, you really only need to wait while you�re reading these lines. That are right here. These lines. That are making you wait. AND THERE�S NOTING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT!!! MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Okay, on with the story. Starting� � ��� Now. JAMEY: Crap! CRAP: Yes? JAMEY: WILL YOU ALL STOP DOING THAT?!?!?!?!? WILL YOU ALL STOP DOING THAT: Hi. JAMEY: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Jamey throws himself out the window. HIMSELF: What�d you do that for? JAMEY: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! But suddenly, Head of Lettuce goes on a homicidal rampage! HEAD OF LETTUCE: EVERYONE ELSE: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Head of Lettuce kills Everyone Else. JAMEY: Phew, thanks Head of Lettuce. HEAD OF LETTUCE: JAMEY: Head of Lettuce, what are you looking at me like that for? NO, STOP, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!? The pickles go ON TOP OF the cheese! Jamey walks over and fixes Head of Lettuce�s cheeseburger. HEAD OF LETTUCE: JAMEY: No need to thank me: just doin� my job. HEAD OF LETTUCE: JAMEY: Wait, what are you going to do with that knife? HEAD OF LETTUCE: JAMEY: NO! STOP! YOU DON�T WHAT YOU�RE DOING! See, you dip the fries in the KETCHUP, not the MAYONNAISE. KIDS: Silly rabbit! JAMEY: Anyway, what should we do about finding REALLY EVIL PERSON WHO�S REALLY EVIL MAN and getting back the Moderator Pizza Slicer? HEAD OF LETTUCE: JAMEY: What? I didn�t know you had evil-detecting radar with a built in CD player! HEAD OF LETTUCE: JAMEY: Oh, you only have this map of REALLY EVIL PERSON WHO�S REALLY EVIL MAN�S hideout with a built in CD player. Eh, I guess it�ll have to do. But what Jamey DIDN�T realize is that REALLY EVIL PERSON WHO�S REALLY EVIL MAN had set a trap for him on the way to his REALLY EVIL HIDEOUT THAT�S REALLY EVIL PLACE!!! JAMEY: Dude, I�m right here, I can hear everything you�re saying. Oh, well then I guess you know not to eat that slice of pizza over there. The narrator points to a slice of pizza in the middle of the road with an �EAT ME� sign stuck in it. JAMEY: Hey, I�m not THAT stupid. HEAD OF LETTUCE: JAMEY: Wait, Head of Lettuce, what are you doing? NOOOOOOOOO!!! Head of Lettuce eats the pizza. Nothing happens. JAMEY: I guess the narrator was wrong. Haha! Grr! Suddenly the narrator makes a REALLY EVIL PIT THAT�S REALLY EVIL HOLE appear under Jamey, Head of Lettuce, and Meta Knight #6!!! (JAMEY'S NOTE: Those narrators always get me...) JAMEY: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Wait, when did Meta Knight #6 get here? META KNIGHT #6: Word up dawg. JAMEY: Ah, that explains it. Wait, aren�t you still falling? JAMEY: Oh yeah. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! WILL THIS SERIES EVER END??????????????? WILL HEAD OF LETTUCE OR META KNIGHT #6 EVER MAKE COMPREHENSIBLE SPEECH??????????????? WILL NEWTON�S THIRD LAW OF GRAVITY EVER BE INHERENTLY RELATIVE TO THE DISPROPORTIONATE FLUX OF THE EARTH�S GRAVITATIONAL PULL DUE TO THE QUANTITY OF THE SUN AND MOON�S COMBINED ACCELERATION SQUARED??????????????? FIND OUT NEXT TIME ON THE ADVENTURES OF JAMEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |