You Know You're From New Hampshire When:
1. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.
2. "Vacation" means going to Burlington for the weekend.
3. You measure distance in hours.
4. You know several people who have hit moose more than once.
5. You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
6. You use a down comforter in the summer.
7. Your grandparents drive at 65 mph through 13 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching.
8. You see people wearing hunting clothes at social events.
9. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
10. You think of the major food groups as: deer meat, beer, fish, and berries.
11. You carry jumper cables in your car and your wife or girlfriend knows how to use them.
12. There are 6 empty cars running in the parking lot at the Grand Union at any given time.
13. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
14. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
15. You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and flannel pajamas.
16. You know all 4 seasons: Almost Winter, Winter, Still Winter, and Construction.
17. It takes you 3 hours to go to the store for one item even when you're in a rush because you have to stop and talk to everyone in town.
18. You actually understand these jokes and forward them to all your friends from New Hampshire.

Thanks Mom for the forward. :p

Site Patch 1 of 2
This is exactly how I thought I would spend my Friday night when I was thinking about it earlier in the week. Not.

Anyways, I did end up playing with CSS stuff and I found myself a search engine that will search for stuff only on this site. It's pretty awesome. I have posted a lot of junk since starting this weblog, and every now and then, I want to reference one of my older posts. It used to be a pain to find out when that post was posted, but now I can type a few keywords and find it in two seconds. :) Even if no one else's uses the search engine, it'll help me out a lot personally. Thank you, peeps of Atomz for finding another way for me to work around my "no CGI allowed" policy. Hehe.

There's a centered background image as well. It's a test image. It will probably be replaced with something better in the coming days, unless I get emotionally attached to it for some reason. Heh. I also played with other CSS commands tonight.

Patch 2 of 2 will probably feature more content-related stuff instead of making the site look purty. Some items I'm thinking of putting up include a new survey, some more game links, more stuff for the bio page, and full frontal farm animal nudity. *shudder* Scratch that last item off of "things to add." Maybe. lol.

Today's Good Friday, huh?
I'm pretty bored. No one's really here, no one's online, my roommate is playing Daft Funk really loudly and on loop for some reason, and there's no real parties going on this weekend since this Sunday is Easter. I got a Honey Brown in one hand and my mouse in the other. Half of the Internet's web sites aren't loading up for me, either. I'm also taking occasional breaks to run down my apartment's hallway and throw myself into a foam dartboard on the wall. Oh yeah. Good stuff.

Not much in the news today. It looks like Yahoo is gonna stop with their porn empire after only two days. There was also something about China and America and planes, but I didn't pay too much attention to it. Heh.

Perhaps I will take this time to make some changes to one or more of my sites. I'm fiddling with the idea of having a non-scrolling background on this site; I'll probably toss a search engine up, too. Maybe play with CSS a bit. Who knows? Or maybe I'll play games for a while. Hehe.

When I become rich and famous...
I'm gonna have a bowling alley. Oh yeah. And it's not gonna be one of them ten-pin bowling alleys, but candlepin bowling. That's the way bowling was meant to be played. The pins are thinner and the ball is smaller and lighter. You can friggin' throw that bad boy with some great velocity.

And I'm gonna have a bar in the bowling alley, too. Drunken bowling is something every American needs to try at least once, or so I've heard.

And there's gonna be air hockey tables everywhere. Air hockey kicks serious ass.

All of this will be in my house. You're free to stop by once everything is set up. ;) It's gonna take a few years, though.

And here's a bowling quote. 50 style points if you can name the movie it's from: You said it, man. Nobody fucks with the Jesus!

Electric car racing
I think I have one of these car sets disassembled in my closet somewhere or maybe in the attic. I may have to put it back together again; it sure was a lot of fun. In the mean time, I (and you!) can race those cars again through the use of a computer. There's even an option to play with two people! Now only if that electric car motor smell could be mimicked; that would be so tight. :)

Now if they could do some Shockwave thing with Legos, too, I'd be all set for a long time. Hehe.

Ah, the uses of Shockwave: site intros, silly movies, and games.

More explosions
Not to be out-done by flaming cows, London cops are blowing up other people's cars. Heh.

And... Blogger is broke.
Bah.

Down with music!
Oh good:

Microsoft and Seattle-based RealNetworks are working to subtly wean consumers away from MP3 technology, [...] Microsoft, for example, plans to severely limit the quality of music that can be recorded as an MP3 file using software built into the next version of its personal-computer operating system, Windows XP, according to the report.

But then again, it's not like this matters. No one uses any of the bundled OS software for creating or playing mp3's anyways. Plus, the key word is recorded. There is no mention of playback quality. But there is another article somewhere that I can't locate (thanks to RPI's wonderful ability to prevent me from surfing the net today) that says that third-party mp3 software doesn't work properly on the WinXP beta... make of this what you will. Keep in mind that it is a beta as well.

And I thought most companies try and give the consumer what they want in a product? It's called human factors. I can almost hear someone scream aloud for gimped audio performance. Oh, sorry, that was the RIAA.

Screw you, M$ anti-trust lawsuit jury.

Oh, the story link was stolen deliberately from ShackNews.

Update: I found that second story.

Potpourri
This post contains a bunch of randomness. Hence the title of the post.

* Say bye bye to Mr. Paperclip. Looks like Office XP ain't gonna have it. I got this link first through the guy who likes to write my name on every flat surface possible, Jon. :)
* Tonight marks the first night of the NHL playoffs. I was watching part of the Redwings and Kings game. Has the Redwings drafted anyone in the last five years, because I have heard the same players' names being announced FOREVER. Hell, if it helps them win championships, whatever.
* I found this at a few places, but it looks like Yahoo! is expanding it's collection of porn in order to generate some cash.
* Does anyone have any cash I can burn on purchasing a p3 850? Or a GeForce 2? That'd be sweet.
* I have always been confused about how people claim that Mormons are polygamists, and I found out why. It hasn't happened for over 100 years! Time to update your brain, people. :p
* People that post useless shit in messageboards just to bump up their messagboard "rank" are queer.
* And I told you to fill this survey out, Jerky. So do it.
* And I'm tired. *yawn* zzzzzz.........

Invalid page faults suck
Coupled with the fact that not only do I have to restart my computer, I may have to restart it several times... damn. All hail the wonders of virtual memory. *sigh*

The reason for life
Black and White was a neat game for the two days I played it before uninstalling it. It's a game where you're a god and you have your own little creature that can learn to do things based on what you teach it. Teaching your creature right from wrong can be a tedious process, and you also have to take care of your worshipers, too.

And here is a FAQ from the worshiper's point of view about you as a god. Pretty funny stuff if you've actually played the game.

Can't find your own server?
Don't feel bad. It took the folks at UNC four years to track down theirs.

FILL THIS OUT!
If someone didn't tell you already, you better fill out this IM (you know, AIM, ICQ, etc.) usage survey while it remains up for the week. And if I know you and I didn't tell you to fill it out yet, don't worry. I'll hunt you down tomorrow. Or maybe the day after that. I'll keep you guessing. But I will strike down upon you. :) Or something.

So what are you waiting for? Fill this survey out!

Mmmm... beefy...
When walking through the Austrian Alps, make sure you look out for flying or flaming cow carcasses. Thanks to my buddy Glad_Dog for the link.

Eh...
I love it when foreign people I don't know add me to their ICQ list and then I can't hold a conversation with them because something gets lost in the translation. By translation, I don't mean that their English is bad, but some sort of keyboard / screen I/O error occurs. Then I end up getting whack messages like this:

And then I end up writing back saying I don't know what the hell was said 'cause every character that appears on my screen is untranslatable. Then they don't write back for a couple days, and then they try writing back to me. Right...

Don't get me wrong, I've had many conversations with foreigners, and I even have this German guy on my ICQ list who I kill the time with every now and then. And there was a guy that used to be on my list from Israel that used to produce messages like the one above, I'd write back saying that I can't make sense of any of the damned characters in that message, and then he'd change one of his settings or something so that his future messages were readable by me. I'm not sure what he did, but it was a good thing. :)

The moral of this post? Uh... there isn't one, and I have no idea how to wrap this post up.

And that's the bottom line. :p

1-800-DAMNATION
I was pretty damn bored late last night. Bored enough to search for my own name on Google. Then, I became even more bored and searched for "Max Jerome," my handle of choice. That led to searching for 1-800-COLLECT commercials, 'cause hey, they have some cool names for their characters: "Max Jerome," "Eva Savealot," "Inspecta Collect;" I wonder if there's others. Did Ed O'Neil have a name when he was doing those commercials? I don't know. But anyways, I came across this great forum thread in regards to the Eva Savealot character. Check out the last sentence in the post that started the thread, and then take a look at "Rev. I.M. Sayten's" post. Funny.

"Non-smoking, please."
Personally, women that smoke are an instant turn-off for me. Lucky for me, there's a site out there that keeps track of which female celebs are also human chimneys. Christina Aguilera? Probable. Gillian Anderson? Probably (may have quit). Pamela Anderson? Yes, and probably cigars as well. And that's only some of the people whose last name starts with A. Go ahead and sift through the lists yourself and find out if "your" girlie girls are wasting their money on tobacco.

A Tribes 2 promo movie
On the day a perfect cap like this happens in your everyday Tribes 2 server (i.e., not a clan match) will be the day I pass an avocado through my urethra. Even in a clan match, things are never this well timed or well executed; but I guess it's possible.

Yay!
I'd like to give some mad props to my homie and former IW boy BigHurt for hookin' the brotha up wit somethin' for my h4><0r3d Nero file prob from back in the day. You da man! And see ya in them Tribes 2 servers. Yeah yeah yeah!

I'm too white for my own damn good. :p

Texan invents teleportation
I heard about this story from ShackNews. Too bad their definition of teleportation isn't what I consider teleportation to be.