BENJICATED

This story actually happened weeks ago during the Ash Wednesday Mass held at the Church of the Gesu here at the Arrneow. My homey, Tiops, and I were attending the mass together, and during communion we saw the Hon. former senator Francisco a.k.a. Kit Tatad in the queue of Eucharist-takers. I told my dear ol' friend, "Uy, Tiops, idol mo oh!" Tiops, in reply, gave a ghastly look. "No," he said with great defiance.

After taking the body and blood of Christ, Tiops and I positioned ourselves at the entrance, or porch, of the church's "outhouse," so to speak. It was starting to get hot, you see. The sun was up, so we decided to shelter ourselves and our soft delicate skin within the confines of the outhouse's porch's roof. I'm not particularly sure how it started...it all happened very quickly.

We were standing there, and out of nowhere, Tiops told me (I'm paraphrasing here Tiops 'cos I can remember the exact words that you said):

"Si Kit yung nagsuspend ng writ eh."

Me, the friendly guy that I am, did not know who Tiops was talking about. Hey, in my 20 years of existence I have known a lot of Kits. So I asked him, "Sinong Kit?"

"Si Kit Tatad," Tiops replied.

"Ah. Sinuspend yung alin," I asked again. Heck, I was so immersed in the mass that I was not able to digest everything he said.

"Yung writ of habeas corpus. Siya yung nagsuspend nun noong panahon ni Marcos."

"Talaga?" Wow! New trivia learned, I told myself.

So we went on with the conversation waiting for the priest to say "Manalangin tayo" or 'Let us pray." Tiops went on in saying that he wouldn't really vote for the guy because technically he was the one who initiated Marcos's dictatorship. I think he may of also said some pejoratives talking about the former senator (e.g. loko, gago...i think).

After we ended the conversation, people were still lining up for communion. Minutes of silence later, the door behind us -the door leading to the "for disabled" CR- opened, and a more-than-abled man in his late 40's or 50's walked-out into the burning hot sun. He didn't really want us to see his face, but it was all to clear to us... the man was no other than Kit Tatad himself.

Do you know how cartoon characters lock open their jaws when they are in disbelief? Well, that how we looked at that moment. Of course we were shellshocked. I mean, what kind of world would permit such a thing to happen!? After a few seconds of contemplation, we both laughed at each other, realizing the funny predicament that had just occurred. I quickly ran to "for disabled" CR and told Tiops to talk so as to check if Kit heard our conversation. Damn it, even at the slightest tone I could hear Tiops's trombone-like voice.

Right then I remembered seeing Kit's face as he walked out that door; he was really disturbed. We unconsciously did some pretty serious ego bashing right there and then. I have nothing against the former senator, it was really just pure circumstance.

We just kind of laughed off the incident, though. As Tiops always says, itch all good. Hey, at least we'll have a really wicked awesome Ateneo story before we graduate.

THE END. Its a crime to be me.

ANG ISTORYA NG PONSIT (a true story)

(02/08/05)
Isang araw sa Cebu, habang nakasakay sa isang multicab(katumbas ng jeepney sa "Menila"), masusi kong pinapakinggan ang mga pag-uusapan ng mga tao doon. Bilang isang Tagalog, banyaga sa akin ang dialektong Cebuano at interesado talaga akong matutunan 'to. Sa mga oras na 'yon, ang mga alam ko pa lamang na mga salitang Cebuano ay 'labay' o tapon sa Tagalog (dahil sa Tong-its kaya ko 'to natutunan) at 'dako' na ibig sabihin ay malaki.

Balik tayo sa kwento. Nang napuno na ang likuran ng multicab at marami pa ring pasaherong gustong sumakay, winika ng drayber," Sa ponsit na lang,sa ponsit." Ako naman,sa kagustuhan ko ngang matutunan ang salita nila, ay nagmasid upang malaman kung ano ang ibig sabihin ng ponsit. Nakita ko na umupo sa harapan ang dalawang tao(sa tabi ng driver), at doon ko nalaman na ponsit pala ang tawag sa harapang upuan ng multicab. Ngayon, dahil excited ako at nadagdagan ng isa salita ang aking bokabularyong Bisaya,sinabi ko agad sa mga kasama kong Tagalog din(na nasa loob din ng multicab) ang ibig sabihin ng salitang "ponsit ."Ilang beses ko pang inulit ng pagkalakas-lakas na "ponsit pala ang tawag sa harapan ng multicab."

Aaminin ko, may kayabangan din ako eh, at siyempre gusto kong ipagyabang sa mga nandoon na may bago akong natutunan. Sa mga oras na ito,masama na ang tingin sa akin ng mga tao sa loob ng sasakyan,lalo na yung mga locals. Inisip ko na lang,siguro dahil na rin malakas talaga ang karisma ko kaya nila ako tinutunaw ng kanilang mga mata. Isipin mo ba naman, kahit hanggang sa Kabisayaan e kumakamada pa rin ang pamatay kong karisma.Yung ang akala ko, but if i only knew...
Pagdating namin sa hotel,sinabi ko sa Bisaya kong kaibigan ang bago kong natutunang salita. Nagtaka siya pagkatapos kong sabihin sa kanya na "ponsit pala ang tawag sa harapan ng public transpo nila. "Makalipas ang marami-raming segundo ng pag-iisip,humalakhak siya ng napakalas at sinabing, "Front seat yon, hindi ponsit!"
THE END. It's a crime to be me.

KALOKOHAN PICS

Disclaimer: Kinuha ang mga litratong ito noong mga panahong napapariwara pa ang aming mga pag-iisip. Ito ngayon ay nagsisilbing isang munting ala-ala ng mga kalokohan naming hindi na dapat gawin muli.

Magkasiping Tiops and Jek on the rise...

Friends having fun...

...some people are just so sick!

(Again, please refer to the disclaimer.)