| Modern Parents | |
 |
|
|
~
Welcome to Stories of Heart! ~
If you are not a subscriber and this has been passed on to you, join us by sending a blank e-mail to [email protected] with "subscribe" in the subject line. And get the love direct! Tour our website: http://www.geocities.com/jenniferioliver2001 ________________________________________________________
Here's hoping everyone
enjoyed their Thanksgiving holiday! We counted all of you
amongst our blessings. I have a special note at the end of this
story for two special ladies in our lives. We've never met you,
but thanks to the world of online connections, you have a permanent
place for you in our hearts and home.
Our
kids are yelling, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, AUNT KAREN!"
Your little brother, Stephen, and I wish you the best of birthdays.
________________________________________________________
MODERN PARENTS
"Are they your
stepchildren?"
His question shocked me momentarily. Then I attributed his question to a series of small strokes he had suffered not long ago. After all, Uncle Jack had been mailed birth announcements and Christmas newsletters that attested to the fact that indeed I had shared my umbilical cord at one time or another with all four of my children, ranging in age from one to six years. I have the C-section scar to prove it, even though my favorite joke whenever I was pregnant was, "I think I'll need a DNA test to see if this one is mine."
But I wasn't about to
show him my scar.
I glanced at my husband's uncle to see if he was kidding. Quite clearly he was not.
"Nope," I
answered. "I'm their birth mother."
Now it was his turn to be shocked.
I felt around on my
nose. No. No telltale evil-stepmother wart.
I puzzled over his
question. Why in the world would he even ask this?
We were into the second day of our visit at the home of Stephen's aunt and uncle, who lived in a small town a couple of hours north of us. We had promised for ages we'd come and visit, and finally we made good on our promise. Our boys explored their acreage for adventure and fished in their pond. While relatives buzzed with news and cooking, Uncle Jack sat quietly in the breezeway, chain-smoking and grinning. I inventoried the events from the day before. We had arrived with a van-ful of kids and in-laws, suitcases, and gifts. We'd thrown a belated surprise celebration in honor of my father-in-law's 80th birthday complete with balloons, potluck cuisine, and a huge birthday cake.
Then it dawned on me.
I could see it all from Uncle Jack's vantage point.
Stephen had tended to the kids most of the time, filling their plates, changing the baby's diaper and putting her down for a nap, half the time disciplining the boys when it was called for. What seemed natural to us -- Stephen's hands-on approach to the kids -- must've struck Uncle Jack rather odd. After all, his was a generation mostly raised by mothers, not fathers. Stephen's role as a househubby had transferred itself to everyday living, even down to a family gathering such as this.
Stephen and I often
compared our lives with what was traditional in the 1950s.
I now understood a man's attitude at the end of a long day at the office. I wanted to be left alone to wind down from a forty-minute commute by clutching bottled water in one hand and a television remote in the other. Stephen now understood a stay-at-home mother's attitude at the end of a long day. He wanted a real conversation with a grown-up other than, "I'm not telling you again! Quit eating dirt!" I now understood how easy it was as a fulltime employee working outside the home to lose sight of minor details, like the birth order of our kids. Stephen couldn't believe I'd forget the names of the kids' doctors. Not to mention the kids' imaginary friends.
The height of my cooking
was stirring sliced hot dogs into a pot of macaroni-n-cheese
while Stephen's would have Julia Child begging for his culinary
secrets (one would be surprised what zest a teaspoon of peanut butter
can add to spaghetti sauce!).
While I fought
deadlines, Stephen fought clotheslines. He clutched his
chest one day when he saw me toss underwear into the washing machine along
with bath towels. Imagine my chagrin. Up until then, I
didn't know I was laundry-challenged.
I also understood
how easy it was working outside the home to lose sight
of major details as well. I missed their first steps,
first tooth, and other milestones.
Yet I doubted
anyone asked a father back then, "Are they your
stepchildren?"
Stephen called me the
other day, whispering, "You've gotta listen to this.
Madison is singing in her crib."
The times, Uncle Jack. They are a'changing. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
A LETTER FROM THE STORIES
OF HEART EDITOR
It began innocently with
Mary Jo Knuth. She wrote in response to one of my stories appearing
in HeartTouchers, and thus our online friendship took off from there
(by the way, Mary Jo, I still owe you that e-mail!).
Understanding that we hadn't had a kitchen for eight years and being
the talented and kind-hearted baker that she was, Mary Jo baked and
mailed us goodies that were out...of...this...world. Brownies,
snicker doodles, Amish friendship bread, zucchini bread. We were
in baked-goodies heaven!
She said -- and I
paraphrase: "I think a family should have homemade
baked goods every once in a while."
Well, her selfless actions
prompted me to plagiarize her generosity in a scene of
my romantic-fiction-in-progress, "Wife Seeking Wife."
You know what they say: write what you know.
Enter Joy Correira.
She read excerpts on www.ipublish.com
from "Wife Seeking Wife," including the scene of a
character, who's been without a kitchen (imagine that!), receiving
baked goodies from another character. Joy e-mailed me, and
voila, another online friendship bloomed. And guess what:
she was so inspired by that scene, she -- you guessed it -- she
brought cheer to our household by sending us a box full of
mouthwatering snicker doodles last week!
To you ladies and to all
who reach out to others, we thank you from the bottom of our
hearts -- and stomachs!
Love,
Jennifer and All-of-her Blessings
_________________________________________________________
QUOTES FROM LESSER KNOWN PEOPLE Last week when I came home from the store, the boys gathered around me while I was getting out of the car. I quizzed them on what they were thankful for: Cody, 6: I'm
thankful that you're going to make me a melted cheese sandwich. So are we, guys.
So are we. The other day I was getting three-year-old Matthew ready to go outside and play. The other boys were already stomping down the stairs. "Cody has to wait for me!" he said. "No, he doesn't, you silly," I replied. "Yes, he does.
I'm his friend!" You know, Jennifer, Stephen's a very generous man. There may be occasional mumbling and grumbling about kitchens and construction (of course, never from you!), but I wouldn't trade a bright, shiny kitchen and rapidly finished home for that generous and thoughtful gift of self that Stephen shares with others. - Beth Hi Jennifer, Enjoyed your
sweet story...people are so precious and it is a wonderful feeling to
reach out to them. - Diane Jennifer, |
|
Home
| Submission
Guidelines | Archives
| Publications
Freebies | Favorite
Links | About
Us | Family
Album | Contact Us