Rachel: Which one should I wear to Monica's party, Joey?

Joey: I don't know, Rach. Ask Chandler. He knows more about that stuff than I do.

Rachel: Okay, which one would you rather see me in?

Joey: Uh, that one. (Points.)

Rachel: Okay, this one it is. (The one he didn't pick.)

Joey: Are we supposed to dress up? Do I need a suit?

Rachel: Do you have a suit?

Joey: Yeah.

Rachel: Then yes.

[Scene: Monica and Chandler's. Monica is there. Ross enters.]

Monica: Hey, Ross. You're coming over later to help set up for my party, right?

Ross: Huh? Oh, yeah. Hey, can you keep a secret?

Monica: Yeah, sure. What's up?

Ross: Okay, I wanna show you something I got for Rachel.

Monica: Oh my God, you're gonna propose!

Ross: What!? No! How do you get that from what I said?

Monica: I don't know! You marry a lot of people, I just...

Ross: Okay, well, I just got her a present. I wanna know if you think she'll like it. Here, look. (Takes a box from his pocket, opens it, and shows it to Monica. Inside is a diamond necklace.)

Monica: Oh, wow! How much did it cost? Are those real?

Ross: None of your business! But, um, fifteen hundred dollars and yes, they're real.

Monica: Oh my God, fifteen hundred dollars!? What's going on? It's not your anniversary, it's not her birthday, something's up! You don't buy a fifteen hundred dollar diamond for no reason. Tell me.

Ross: You're good.

Monica: I know. Now tell me.

Ross: Okay, I'm gonna...wait, you gotta promise not to tell anyone. I want her to be surprised.

Monica: Okay, I won't tell.

Ross: I'm gonna ask her to move in with me.

Monica: Oh my God!

Ross: You say that a lot. Do you think it's a good idea?

Monica: Yes, definitely! Oh, God, it's too much!

Ross: You can't tell anyone!

Monica: Okay, fine. (Pause.) How 'bout just Phoebe?

[Scene: Joey and Rachel's. Joey and Chandler are there.]

Monica: (Entering.) Hey, guys, I need help.

Joey: I refuse to set up for your party! I am a guest and should not have to set up.

Monica: I just need someone to go out and buy champagne. Oh, and some sparkling cider for Rachel. Will you go, Chandler?

Chandler: But Mon...

Monica: I said, will you go, Chandler?

Chandler: I would love to go! I'll go right now! (Gets up and exits with Monica.)

[Scene: Monica and Chandler's. Everyone is there.]

Monica: Okay, Ross and Rachel, you put the streamers and the Happy New Year banners up. Phoebe and Joey, you guys set up the drink table. Chandler, you're helping me with the food.

Joey: Food, huh? Pizza?

Monica: No pizza. We're having filet of salmon...

Joey: We always have salmon!

Rachel: I like salmon.

Chandler: Me too.

Joey: Well, I like salmon, it's just that we always have it! People do get sick of having a certain thing too often!

Rachel: Joey, you order a pizza every day.

Joey: Hey! You can't get sick of pizza.

Monica: Oh, oh, I forgot ice.

Phoebe: I can get ice!

Monica: Okay, thanks, Pheebs. Chandler, you can help Joey set up the drinks. Rach?

Rachel: Huh?

Monica: Don't staple the decorations up. Use tape.

Ross: Tape!? Staples are so much easier.

Monica: I don't want staples in my walls!

Chandler: Our walls.

Monica: My walls!

[Time lapse. Ross and Rachel have finished putting up banners and streamers; Joey and Chandler have set up the "alcoholic drink table"; Phoebe has returned with ice. Monica is cooking.]

Monica: (Turning around.) Okay, Rach, the banner's tilted.

Rachel: (Looking at it.) No, it's not.

Monica: Yes, it is! Look at that! It's way too far down on the left side.

Rachel: Nuh uh. (To Ross.) It's not tilted.

Ross: (Looking at it.) It's not tilted, Mon.

Monica: Yes it is! Here, I'll fix it!

(Monica stands on a chair and fixes the banner. She gets down and looks at it.)

Monica: Much better!

Rachel: It's tilted now.

Monica: It is not! Joey, Phoebe, is it tilted?

Joey and Phoebe: Ehh.

Monica: Chandler! It's not tilted, right?

Chandler: Well...

Monica: Chandler!

Chandler: It's perfect!

[Time lapse. Guests have begun to arrive. The doorbell rings and Monica answers it. It's her parents, Jack and Judy.]

Monica: Mom, Dad! What are you doing here!?

Jack: We're bringing in the New Year, of course!

Judy: Yes, yes. How are you, dear?

Monica: Um, fine. But, I, I didn't invite you.

Judy: Why is that? Oh, and that banner is tilted.

Monica: (Turning to look.) No, it's not... (Turns back.) I didn't invite you, because, um, it was just supposed to be a younger people...thing.

Ross: (Walking past the door and seeing them.) Ahh! Mom, Dad!

Jack: Hey, Ross! How's it going?

Ross: Uh, um, good, it's going good.

(They walk into the apartment.)

Monica: Um, wait, who invited you guys?

Jack: Well, the return address on our invitation said Joeseph Tribbiani. So, I guess your friend Joey invited us.

Monica and Ross: Joey!

Judy: So, Ross, are you seeing anyone?

Ross: Ah...we'll talk later! I have to go over here for a minute! Come here, Monica! (They walk out of hearing range of their parents.) This is so bad!

Monica: You haven't told them about you and Rachel yet!?

Ross: No!

Monica: Well, I didn't invite them! It's Joey's fault!

Phoebe: (Walking over.) Um, Monica, see that guy over there?

Monica: Um, little busy here, Pheebs!

Phoebe: Yeah, okay, well, he just spilled red wine on your white pillow.

Monica: Oh my God! Forget your problem, Ross! (Runs off.)

[Time lapse.]

Jack: So, Ross, you never answered our question! Are you seeing anyone?

Ross: Um, well...

Rachel: (Walking over.) Ros...Mr. Geller, Mrs. Geller!

Judy: Oh, hello, Rachel.

Rachel: Hi! Um, what a surprise.

Jack: Your father should be here shortly.

Rachel: (Horrified.) What!? My father!? My father is, is coming!? Here!? Tonight!?

Judy: Oh, yes, we invited him.

Rachel: Okay, um, I need to go over here for just a second...

(She walks over to Monica.)

Rachel: Oh my God! Your parents are here, my father is coming! Oh my God!

Monica: Your father!? Your father is coming!?

Rachel: I need help! Help! Help me, Monica!

Ross: (Walking over.) Oh, it's bad. I can't stall anymore.

Monica: Well, look, our parents like Rachel! It'll be fine.

Rachel: But my father hates you! I can't tell him yet.

Ross: Your dad hates me? I thought he just didn't like me.

Rachel: Well, that's how it was, but then when we broke up he hated you.

Ross: Huh. Okay, I have to tell my parents now.

Rachel: Okay, okay, should I come?

Ross: I don't know! Monica?

Monica: Um, yes, you should be there. Me too. I wanna see their faces.

Rachel: (Sarcastic.) Oh, thanks, Mon.

(They walk back over to Jack and Judy.)

Ross: Um, Mom, Dad, I have something to tell you.

Jack: Oh, no.

Judy: You didn't get married again, did you?

Ross: Um, no. Close, but, um...

Jack: Out with it, son!

Ross: (Quickly.) Rachel and I got back together and she's pregnant with my child.

(Awkward silence.)

Judy: (To Monica.) You're always keeping these things from us!

[Time lapse. Ross, Rachel, and Monica are in the kitchen.]

Monica: It wasn't bad.

Ross: It was awful.

Rachel: It was better than it will be with my father. He's gonna freak. Monica, you tell him.

Monica: I'm afraid of your dad.

Rachel: So am I! Maybe he won't show up.

(The doorbell rings.)

Rachel: Damn it!

(Monica goes to open it.)

Dr. Green: Hello, Monica.

Monica: Hello, Dr. Green!

(He walks in.)

Rachel: Daddy, hi!

Dr. Green: Hey, sweetie. Hello, Ross.

Ross: Hi, Dr. Green.

Joey: (Walking over.) Hey, I didn't know your dad was coming, Rach. Hey, now you can tell everyone about the baby!

Dr. Green: Baby?

Rachel, Monica, and Ross: Joey!

Joey: What?

Dr. Green: What baby?

Rachel: Um, well, I'm, um...mine.

Dr. Green: You're pregnant? Really?

Rachel: Well...no. Except that I am.

Dr. Green: Who's the father?

Monica: Oh, it's awkward.

Rachel: Ross. It's Ross. You like Ross, right?

Dr. Green: (To Ross.) It's you? (Ross nods.) It's Ross. (To Rachel.) When's the wedding?

Rachel: Uh, um, wedding?

Dr. Green: Don't tell me you're not getting married.

Rachel: April third.

Ross: Rachel!

Rachel: Except that there is no wedding on April third! We're not getting married.

Dr. Green: You're not getting married!? Why not!? Is it because Ross won't marry you!? Is that it!? (To Ross.) Why can't you marry my Rachel? Is she not good enough for you!?

Rachel: Daddy, wait, that's not why, okay! Ross offered to marry me, but I didn't want to. I'm not ready to get married yet.

Dr. Green: Yet? You plan on marrying Ross!? Why would you marry Ross!?

Rachel: Yes, actually! We got back together.

Dr. Green: Because of the baby!?

Rachel: No! Because we're in love! Again.

Dr. Green: Then why don't you get married!?

Rachel: Because I'm not ready! Not ready!

(Short moment of silence.)

Dr. Green: You're in love with him?

Rachel: Yes.

Dr. Green: And he's in love with you?

Ross: Yes.

Dr. Green: And I'm going to be a grandfather?

Rachel: Yes.

Dr. Green: Well. Congratulations.

[Time lapse. Monica, Ross, and Rachel are sitting on the couch.]

Monica: For a minute there I thought he might actually hit Ross.

Rachel: I wouldn't have been surprised if he did. I told you he's a scary guy.

Ross: I wasn't scared of him.

Rachel: Yes you were.

Ross: Okay, so I was, but he's a scary guy!

Monica: It went way better than I expected it to.

Rachel: I know. He must be in a good mood.

Monica: I wonder why it has to be so hard to tell someone something so wonderful.

Rachel: Yeah.

Phoebe: (Walking over.) Hey, guys! Ross, you're okay! Rachel's dad didn't kill you. I owe Joey ten bucks.

Ross: (Sarcastic.) Thanks, Pheebs.

Rachel: Where is Joey by the way?

Phoebe: He's over there talking to Chandler. (Points.)

Rachel: Well, I guess I can yell at him later.

Phoebe: Why are you gonna yell at Joey?

Rachel: He invited Ross's parents and they invited my dad.

Phoebe: Oh, I better warn him. (Walks off as Chandler walks over.)

Chandler: Hey. How'd the parents take the news?

Ross, Rachel, and Monica: Eh.

Chandler: Not so good?

Rachel: I'm just glad it's over. I don't have to dread telling my father anymore.

Ross: Don't you still have to tell your mom?

Rachel: Oh, no, I told her. She's completely supportive.

Ross: Huh. When did you tell her?

Rachel: I told her before I told you.

Monica: And after you told me, right? 'Cause Phoebe and I were first, right?

Rachel: No, I told her as soon as I found out.

Monica: I'm your best friend!

Rachel: She's my mom!

Monica: Yeah, well, I guess it's okay.

Rachel: Thank you.

Chandler: Hey, Mon, that guy over there just spilled wine again.

Monica: Not again! Hey, you! Put the wine down! Down!!! (Runs off.)

[Time lapse. Monica and Ross are in the kitchen.]

Monica: Only a few hours until midnight. When are you gonna ask?

Ross: I thought we'd go out to the balcony a little before midnight and I'd give her the necklace and ask then.

Monica: Ohh. Are you sure I can't tell Phoebe?

(Ross glares at her.)

[Time lapse. Joey and Rachel are talking.]

Rachel: I still can't believe you invited Monica's parents. Why Monica's!?

Joey: I don't know! I was in charge of some of the invitations and Monica's parents weren't on the list, but I thought she wanted them to come! I don't know!

Rachel: Why would Monica put you in charge of invitations!?

(Joey shrugs.)

[Cut to Phoebe talking to a guest. We'll call him Ted.]

Ted: Hey. You look just like my ex-wife.

Phoebe: Oh. You're divorced?

Ted: Yeah. She left me after I shot her.

Phoebe: Okay, um, that seems reasonable.

Joey: (Walking over.) Hey, Ted!

Ted: Hey, Ken!

Phoebe: Ken?

Joey: (Quietly to Phoebe.) This guy shot his roommate. I don't wanna tell him my real name.

Phoebe: (To Ted.) My name is Regina. I'm a businesswoman.

Rachel: (Walking over.) Hey, guys.

Ted: Hey, Jenny.

Rachel: Hey, Ted.

Phoebe: Hello, Jenny. My name is Regina.

Joey: And I'm Chris.

Ted: I'm gonna go get a drink. I'll talk to you guys later. (Walks off.)

Rachel: Hey, I guess he told you that he shot his boss.

(Joey and Phoebe exchange scared glances.)

Joey: Who invited him!?

[Time lapse. Rachel is talking to her father.]

Dr. Green: And Ross is supportive? He's going to help you?

Rachel: Yes, yes.

Dr. Green: Financially too?

Rachel: Yes, Daddy. We've already talked about this.

Dr. Green: Did you tell your mother yet?

Rachel: Um, yes.

Dr. Green: How did she take it?

Rachel: Very well, actually.

Dr. Green: Are your friends supportive?

Rachel: Daddy! Everyone is supportive. Everyone wants to help.

(Pause.)

Dr. Green: And Ross is one hundred percent supportive, right? Maybe I should talk to him...

[Time lapse. All six are watching TV.]

Monica: Only an hour to go!

Phoebe: 2002 will be a good year for me.

Rachel: Yeah? What about us? Will we have good years?

Phoebe: Huh. (To Rachel.) You will, (To Chandler.) you won't, (To Ross.) you will, (To Monica.) you will, (To Joey.) you will.

Chandler: I'm the only one that's gonna have a bad year!?

Phoebe: Yep.

Chandler: Eh, well.

Joey: So, who's kissing who at midnight?

Ross: Do you really have to ask that?

Joey: Um, yes...

Monica: Joey! I'm kissing Chandler. Rachel's kissing Ross. You and Phoebe can kiss.

Phoebe and Joey: Okay.

Joey: I still say you guys are boring.

Rachel: You kissed me on New Years of 1999. Remember?

Joey: Oh, yeah. Yeah, that was fun. That was a good New Year's Eve party.

Rachel: We're never doing that again.

[Time lapse.]

Ross: (To Rachel.) I wanna tell you something. Let's go out to the balcony.

[Cut to balcony.]

Rachel: What's up?

Ross: Well, I guess I actually wanted to ask you something. And I got you a present.

Rachel: Oh, that's so sweet. I didn't get you anything, I didn't know we were exchanging gifts.

Ross: Oh, no, we weren't, I just wanted to...well, anyway. (He takes the box out of his pocket and gives it to her.) Happy New Year.

Rachel: (Opening it.) Oh, oh my God! It's beautiful! Oh, thank you, Ross. I love you.

Ross: I love you too. There's something I wanted to ask you.

Rachel: Okay.

Guests: (From inside.) Ten, nine, eight...

Ross: Okay, here goes. Rach, will you move in with me?

Guests: Seven, six, five...

Rachel: Oh, wow, Ross. Yes, I'll move in with you!

Guests: Four, three, two, one, happy New Year!!!

Ross: Happy New Year! I love you.

Rachel: Happy New Year. I love you too.

(They kiss.)

[Scene: Time lapse. Inside the apartment. The guests are leaving. The six are standing at the door saying goodbye as they leave.]

Dr. Green: Happy New Year, sweetie.

Rachel: Oh, you too, Daddy.

Dr. Green: Keep in touch, okay?

Rachel: Okay. Goodnight.

(He exits. Ross and Monica's parents walk up.)

Judy: That was a wonderful party, Monica.

Monica: Thanks, Mom.

Jack: (To Ross and Rachel.) And congratulations to you two.

Ross: Thanks, Dad.

Jack and Judy: Goodnight.

Monica: Happy New Year! Bye!

[Time lapse. All the guests are gone. Ross and Rachel are talking.]

Rachel: Poor Joey, he's gonna be crushed.

Ross: Yeah, he really likes living with you.

Monica: (Walking over.)

Rachel: Monica! I'm gonna live with Ross!

Monica: I know! He told me! It's go great!

Rachel: I know!

Joey: (Walking over.) Hey, guys what's up?

Rachel: Um, well, Joey, we need to talk.

Joey: Okay. Is everything alright?

Rachel: Yeah, everything's fine. Ross and I have decided to move in together, so I'm gonna be moving out.

Joey: (Pause.) Well, that, that's great...great... (Tearing up.) I'm really happy for you guys.

Rachel: Are you okay?

Joey: (Pause.) No! This sucks! I mean, again!? First Chandler, now you!

Rachel: It's okay, Joey. We'll still see each other all the time.

Joey: I know, but, but, we won't get to have our two pizzas on Friday, and, and, you won't get to talk to the girls I bring home in the morning and find out all that cool stuff about them!

Rachel: We can still have our two pizzas on some Fridays! And maybe you should try talking to the girls you date.

Joey: But I love living with you!

Rachel: I love living with you too!

Joey: Then stay!

Rachel: No, I'm still set on moving in with Ross.

[Scene: Joey and Rachel's. Joey and Rachel are there.]

Joey: There'll be no more Joey and Rachel's. This is just like when Chandler left! Wanna go to Joey and Rachel's? Oh, wait, it's gone. Wanna go to Joey and Chandler's? Nope, that was gone a long time ago!

Rachel: I know, I know. But I love Ross.

Joey: I know. I really am happy for you guys.

Rachel: Oh, thanks, Joey. And besides, I'm not moving in for a week. We can have our last two pizzas as roommates on Friday.

Joey: It's the end of the age of Joey and Rachel!

Rachel: I know! I'm gonna miss you so much!

Joey: I'm gonna miss you too!

Rachel: Me too!

Joey: Then don't leave me! Stay here, okay?

Rachel: Oh, you gotta stop doing that.

- End -

I want feedback! E-mail me at [email protected]. Please read the continuation of this one, TOW The Fire.