Joey: Hey, thanks a lot for helping me buy this tree, Rach. Chandler would never let us get one when he was living here.

Rachel: Really? Why not?

Joey: He didn't like all the pine needles everywhere. He said why bother if we're just gonna throw it out anyway.

Rachel: Huh. Well, I like Christmas trees.

Joey: Yeah. (Pause.) And this fake one is way better than real tree anyway.

Rachel: Oh, definitely.

[Scene: Monica and Chandler's. Monica and Chandler are there.]

Monica: It's so great that Ross and Rachel got back together.

Chandler: Yeah.

Monica: And isn't it strange to think that this time next year there's gonna be a little baby around?

Chandler: Yeah. (Pause.) You're talking about Rachel's, right?

Monica: Yeah.

Chandler: Oh, yeah. It'll be great.

[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe, Joey, and Rachel are there.]

Joey: Hey, Pheebs, you gotta come to my place on Friday night and help me and Rachel decorate our Christmas tree.

Rachel: Yeah.

Phoebe: Joey, you know I'm against Christmas trees!

Joey: It's fake.

Phoebe: Oh, okay.

Ross: (Entering.) Hey, guys.

All: Hey.

Ross: Today was my last day at work. Now I'm on Christmas break till January.

Joey: Hey, Ross, can you come over on Friday and help me and Rachel and Phoebe decorate our Christmas tree? Rachel and I bought one.

Ross: Yeah, I'll have to see if I have any other plans...

Joey: You? Plans on a Friday night? Okay, so I'll just assume you'll be there.

Phoebe: Oh, wait, I just remembered. I can't go, Joey. I have a date.

Rachel: Who with?

Phoebe: Well, the other day I met his this Navy guy, Sean, while I was at the newsstand.

Rachel: That's great, Pheebs! (To Ross.) Remember the time with the Navy uniform?

Ross: Oh, yeah.

Phoebe: Um, okay, anyway! Sorry guys.

Joey: It's okay.

Phoebe: Oh, thanks.

Joey: (To Ross and Rachel.) Okay, so, tell us about the time with the Navy uniform.

(They glare at him.)

[Scene: Joey and Rachel's. Joey is watching TV. Rachel enters.]

Joey: Hey, Rach.

Rachel: Hey, Joey. Did you get the mail?

Joey: Yeah, it's over there.

(Rachel starts looking through the mail. She opens an envelope.)

Rachel: Oh my God!

Joey: What?

Rachel: I got my holiday bonus from work and wow!

Joey: (Getting up and looking over he shoulder.) Whoa! That's a lot of money!

Rachel: I know! Oh, hey, now we can afford the new TV!!!

Joey: Yay!

[Scene: Monica and Chandler's. Monica and Chandler are there. Joey and Rachel enter.]

Joey: Rachel's rich!

Chandler: Rachel's rich...try saying that five times fast.

Joey: No, I'm serious! Rach, show them your check!

Rachel: Okay, okay! Look! (She shows them her holiday bonus check.)

Monica: Oh my God!

Chandler: Whoa, that's more than I get on my bonus!

Monica: Really? You don't get a bonus that big?

Chandler: No...wow, Rach, congratulations!

Rachel: Oh, thanks!

(Ross enters.)

Rachel: Oh, hey, Ross. Are you doing anything right now?

Ross: No, why?

Joey: Because we're going down to Circuit City to buy a TV!

Monica: You're buying a TV?

Rachel: Yeah.

Chandler: Aw, no fair. I wish Monica would... (Sees Monica looking at him.) ...never buy anything like that!

[Scene: Circuit City. Ross, Rachel, and Joey are looking at TV's.]

Joey: Okay, let's find the biggest, best TV they got!

Ross: Yeah!

Rachel: Okay!

Salesperson: May I help you?

Joey: Yeah! We want to see the biggest, best TV you got!

Salesperson: Um, well, that would be the Toshiba over there. (Points.)

(Ross, Rachel, and Joey walk over to look at the TV.)

Rachel: Ohh, wow. Flat screen, surround sound speakers. Look, this console even has a place for your beer, Joey. And for pizza!

Joey: Yeah! Wow, Rach, you're really good at this TV stuff! You're almost a guy!

Rachel: Thanks! (Pause.) I think.

Joey: So can we get it? Please? Please?

Ross: Yeah! Please?

Rachel: (To Ross.) You don't even live with us!

Ross: I know, but... (Quietly.) I want to watch the big TV.

[Scene: Joey and Rachel's. They bought the TV and console. They also bought a DVD player. Ross, Rachel, and Joey are sitting on the couch looking at it.]

Joey: (Giving the remote to Rachel.) You do the honors.

Rachel: Okay! (Joey and Ross make drum roll noises. Rachel lifts the remote and clicks it on. They all cheer.)

Joey: Okay, you know what we need now?

Ross: What?

Rachel: Pizza!

Joey: Your kid is gonna be so lucky to have such a cool mom!

Rachel: (Emotional.) Ohhh.

Ross: I think you've been living with Joey for too long.

[Time lapse. They're still watching TV and eating pizza.]

Joey: This is the best TV ever!

Rachel: You know what I was thinking of buying next?

Ross: What?

Rachel: Another chair to go with Francette.

Joey: Yes!

Ross: Francette?

(Joey and Rachel look at him.)

Joey: The chair, dude.

[Scene: Monica and Chandler's. Monica and Chandler are there.]

Phoebe: (Entering.) Hey.

Monica and Chandler: Hey.

Phoebe: Where's everyone else?

Chandler: They're across the hall watching the new TV.

Phoebe: Ohh.

Monica: (Turning around.) You're all dressed up. Are you going somewhere tonight?

Phoebe: Oh, yeah, I have a date.

Monica: With who?

Phoebe: Oh, this great guy I met, Sean.

Monica: Ohh.

Phoebe: Oh, in fact, I really gotta get going. I'll see you guys later.

Monica: Bye. Have fun.

(Phoebe exits.)

Chandler: (To Monica.) Can I please go watch the new TV now?

[Scene: Joey and Rachel's. Everyone except Phoebe is there. They are decorating the Christmas tree.]

Rachel: Okay, Monica, before we start, this is me and Joey's tree and we don't want to be freakishly perfect.

Joey: Right.

Monica: (Annoyed.) Okay, fine.

[Time lapse. Ross and Rachel are sitting on the couch together, Joey, Monica, and Chandler are still putting ornaments on the tree.]

Monica: Hey, Rach, where did all these ornaments come from anyway?

Rachel: Well, a lot of them are mine. See, when I was growing up my parents would have me pick out an ornament every year. If you look on the backs there's the year I got it.

Joey: Yeah, and the others are mine.

Chandler: Like the one of the stripper?

Joey: Yep.

[Time lapse. Monica is adjusting the ornaments. Joey and Rachel have fallen asleep. Chandler and Ross are on the verge of falling asleep.]

Monica: (Loudly.) How's that look?

Rachel: (Waking up.) Huh? Oh, oh, what are you doing? Stop adjusting! Put them back!

Monica: Don't you want your tree to look nice?

Rachel: I don't want it to look like you were the only one who decorated it! I don't want it to look "Monica."

Monica: What!?

Rachel: Oh, just stop moving the ornaments!

Chandler: (Yawning.) Well, it's pretty late.

Monica: Yeah...goodnight, guys.

Ross and Rachel: Goodnight.

(Joey is still sleeping. Monica and Chandler exit.)

Rachel: Joey? Joey, wake up. Joey.

(No reaction.)

Rachel: Eh. (She pokes him.)

Joey: (Waking up.) No, don't take me!

(Ross and Rachel stare at him.)

Joey: Oh. Weird dream.

Rachel: I'm not that tired yet. Let's watch a movie. You know, just to test out the new DVD player.

Ross and Joey: Yeah!

[Short time lapse. All three have fallen asleep, Ross and Rachel on the couch, Joey on the chair. Joey starts to snore extremely loudly.]

Monica: (Entering and yelling.) Hey! Wake up! Wake up!

(They all wake up.)

Rachel: Hmm?

Monica: How can you sleep through that?

Ross: Through what?

Monica: Joey snoring!

Joey: I do not snore!!! You snore!

Monica: You sounded like a lawnmower! And I don't snore!

Joey: (Pause.) You sounded like a lawnmower!

[Scene: Monica and Chandler's. Monica, Chandler, Ross, and Rachel are there.]

Phoebe: (Entering.) Hey!

All: Hey!

Rachel: How was your date last night?

Phoebe: Oh, it sucked.

Monica: Ohh.

Phoebe: Oh, no, it sucked for Sean.

Rachel: Huh?

Phoebe: Okay, um, remember Monica's old boyfriend Fun Bobby?

Monica: Yeah.

Phoebe: And remember how he became Dull Bobby when he stopped drinking?

Rachel: Yeah.

Phoebe: Well, this guy is, like, fifty times more boring. All the time.

Monica and Rachel: Ew.

[Scene: Rachel's office. Rachel is working. One of her supervisors enters. We'll call him Mr. Berkley.]

Mr. Berkley: Miss Green, may I please speak to you for a moment?

Rachel: Yes, of course.

Mr. Berkley: Did you receive your holiday bonus check a few days ago?

Rachel: Yes...

Mr. Berkley: And have you spent much of that money yet?

Rachel: Oh, um...some.

Mr. Berkley: Well, it turns out Ralph made a mistake on all of the bonuses, giving everyone much more than they should have gotten.

Rachel: Uh oh.

[Scene: Monica and Chandler's. Monica and Phoebe are there.]

Monica: So, I take it you're not gonna see this Sean guy anymore?

Phoebe: Well, I kinda have to 'cause he asked me out to dinner tonight.

Monica: Why didn't you just say you were busy?

Phoebe: Because he's going out to sea tomorrow. I won't have to worry about breaking up with him 'cause he'll be gone for, like, half a year.

Monica: Ohh. You got lucky there.

Phoebe: Oh, I know.

[Scene: Joey and Rachel's. Joey is watching TV as Monica enters.]

Monica: Hey, Joey.

Joey: Hey.

Monica: How's the new TV?

Joey: Oh, it's great. Look, with this digital cable, we get some cooking channels.

Monica: (Walking over to look.) Really?

Joey: Oh, yeah.

Monica: Oh my God! Look at that cake! (She sits down and watches.)

Joey: You're on my side now.

[Time lapse. Monica and Joey are still watching. Chandler enters.]

Chandler: Hey, Mon, there you are.

Monica: Shh!

Chandler: Geez. (To Joey.) What is she watching?

Joey: Cooking shows.

Chandler: Oh, I see.

Joey: Hey, we get six different channels of ESPN.

Chandler: Do you get E!?

(Joey stares at him.)

[Scene: Monica and Chandler's. Monica is making a cake. Chandler is sitting at the table.]

Monica: (Finishing frosting the cake.) There! All done. It looks just like the one on TV!

Chandler: Can we eat it now?

Monica: No! No one is eating this cake!

Chandler: So, what, you're just gonna let it sit there until it goes bad?

Monica: No, I'm gonna take some pictures of it. Then I'm giving it to my parents for their Christmas party.

Chandler: Oh, man. I want cake.

[Scene: Joey and Rachel's. Joey is watching TV. Ross is on the phone.]

Ross: (On phone in a "sick" voice.) Yeah, I can't make it in today for the lecture...I've got, uh, a bad cold. (Listens.) Yeah. (Listens.) Okay, thanks. (Hangs up and sits down in the new chair next to Joey.) Okay, I don't have to worry about that last minute speech.

Joey: Cool.

Ross: So, can we watch the Discovery Channel now?

Joey: Umm...no.

(Rachel enters.)

Joey: Hey, Rach. You're home early.

Ross: Hey, honey.

Rachel: Hey. Look, I've got some bad news...

(Ross and Joey turn around.)

Rachel: ...about my bonus.

Ross and Joey: Not the bonus!

Rachel: Apparently there was a mistake with all of them. I got way more than I was supposed to.

Joey: Oh no!

Ross: Do you have to send the stuff back?

Rachel: Well, the good part of this is that Ralph felt bad 'cause I had already spent what would've been more than my entire bonus, so he extended them all a little bit.

Joey: Yay!

Rachel: But...

Joey: Aww, not the but!

Rachel: But we have to return the DVD player and the DVDs, Joey. And we don't get to buy the new chair.

Joey: Not the TV?

Rachel: No, just the DVD stuff.

Joey: Can we keep the digital cable?

Rachel: Yeah.

Joey: Okay, cool.

[Scene: A restaurant. Phoebe is out with Sean.]

Sean: And then the guy parked in my spot. Can you believe that? My spot!

Phoebe: Oh, yeah, no, that's, that's awful.

Waiter: Can I get you anything to drink?

Sean: No, thanks.

Phoebe: Yes! Yes, please! The most alcoholic beverage you have!

Waiter: Um, I can give you a list...

Phoebe: For the love of God, just bring the drink!!!

[Scene: Monica and Chandler's. Monica, Chandler, Joey, and Ross are there.]

Rachel: (Entering.) Hey, guys.

Chandler: Hey, Joey just told us the bad news.

Rachel: Oh, yeah, I just got back from returning the DVD player.

Joey: Yeah. I'm gonna miss it.

Monica: It's not a big deal, Joey.

Joey: I know. I just really liked those DVDs.

Ross: Yeah. But the digital cable is still cool.

Joey: Oh, yeah.

Phoebe: (Entering.) Ugh.

Rachel: Date didn't go well?

Phoebe: I swear I fell asleep for a while.

Monica: This guy really is that boring?

Phoebe: Yes! I'm so glad I don't have to see him anymore. Oh, except for tomorrow. He's coming to the coffeehouse to say goodbye. Oh, you guys can come down and see how dull he is!

Rachel: Will he be wearing his uniform?

[Scene: Central Perk. The next day. Everyone is there waiting for Sean.]

Gunther: Can I get you anything, Rachel?

Rachel: Um, yeah, sure, coffee please.

Ross: Hey, Gunther, can I get some coffee too?

Gunther: No.

(Sean enters wearing his Navy uniform.)

Rachel: (To Monica.) Ohh, he's wearing the uniform!

Phoebe: Sean, hey!

Sean: Hi.

Phoebe: Oh, here, meet my friends before you have to leave. (Points to each as she says their name.) Rachel, Ross, Monica, Chandler, and Joey.

All: Hey.

Sean: Hi.

Phoebe: Okay, um, well.

Sean: Well, I have to get going. Nice to meet you all.

(Phoebe and Sean walk out.)

Monica: Oh, ew.

Rachel: I know!

Monica: He's more boring than Ross.

Ross: Hey!

Rachel: Oh, Ross, you're not boring.

Ross: Thank you.

Joey: Hey...

(Rachel motions for Joey to stop talking.)

[Scene: Monica and Chandler's. Everyone is there.]

Monica: Hey, Rach, come taste these cookies.

Rachel: What kind?

Monica: Sugar.

Rachel: Eh. No thanks.

Monica: What?

Rachel: Sugar cookies don't sound good now.

Phoebe: Oh, oh! I went through this. You're just having cravings. Remember? I went through that whole time where I craved meat and nothing else.

Rachel: Oh, yeah, you're right. I can't really think of anything that sounds good.

Joey: Pizza?

Rachel: Oh, yeah!

(Joey nods approvingly.)

Joey: Pizza is always the answer.

Chandler: I can't believe you just said those words.

Rachel: No, he's right, I want pizza!

Phoebe: You eat pizza all the time!

Rachel: So? Pizza's good. Hmm, pizza and coffee.

Chandler: That's...gross.

[Time lapse. Rachel is eating pizza and drinking coffee.]

Ross: And that actually tastes good to you?

Rachel: Yeah.

Joey: Hey, doesn't seem so bad. Pizza and coffee is better than wax, right?

Ross: When have you ever eaten wax?

(Monica, Phoebe, Chandler, and Joey exchange glances.)

Chandler: Not once.

Phoebe: Nuh uh.

Joey: Never.

Ross: Right.

Rachel: No, it was when we broke up.

Ross: Huh?

(Monica has a guilty look. Joey, Chandler, and Phoebe look at her.)

Phoebe: You told her?

Monica: She's my best friend! I had to tell her.

Rachel: Yeah, they were in Monica's room the whole time we were fighting. They were eavesdropping and they ate wax.

Ross: You were eavesdrop...you ate wax?

Phoebe: Yeah, that was my idea.

(Ross looks at her.)

Joey: Hey, it wasn't that bad.

Rachel: Wasn't that bad? It was wax!

Joey: Look who's talking! You're eating pizza and coffee!

Rachel: At least it wasn't used to rip hair off someone's leg.

[Scene: Joey and Rachel's. Joey and Rachel are watching TV.]

Joey: Hey, Rach, when the baby comes, we'll still be able to afford the digital cable, right?

Rachel: (Thinks.) Yeah. You might have to pay some. But I'm sure you'll be getting more money for Days Of Our Lives. You'll probably have a bigger part by then. You might not have to play a woman anymore.

Joey: A woman in a man's body!!!

- End -

I want feedback! E-mail me at [email protected]. Please read the continuation of this one, TOW The New Year's Party