Rachel: Morning, Joey.

Joey: Hey. What's with the boxes?

Rachel: I'm moving my stuff to Ross's tomorrow, remember?

Joey: Oh, yeah. (Sees the TV.) What's the TV doing on the floor?

Rachel: I'm taking it with me. I did buy it, y'know.

Joey: Oh, okay. (The cat, Ryan, enters from Rachel's room.) What are we gonna do about Ryan?

Rachel: I thought he could stay here since I'm the one that's leaving. He can keep you company until you find a new roommate.

Joey: Oh, right.

Rachel: Are you okay?

Joey: Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just gonna miss you. And now the TV too.

[Scene: Monica and Chandler's. Everyone is there.]

Ross: Got all your stuff packed, Rach?

Rachel: Yeah, just about.

Monica: Wow, this is so great. My best friend and my brother. Again.

Chandler: (To Joey and Rachel.) So, what are you guys doing tonight?

Joey: We are going out.

Phoebe: Going out like a date?

Rachel: Of course not like a date. We're going out to celebrate me moving in with Ross.

Monica: That's a date. Joey and Rachel are going on a date!

Joey: Yeah, it is kind of like a date.

Ross: Uh, if, if you're celebrating Rachel moving in with me, shouldn't I be going to dinner too?

Rachel: (Pause.) It's Joey and my last night and we wanna go out.

Ross: Okay, okay, uh, where, uh, where are you going? On, on this, this non-date?

Joey: Oh, well, couldn't think of a place we both really like...

Rachel: Joey wanted fast food, I wanted a real restaurant.

Joey: Yeah, okay.

Monica: So where are you going?

Rachel: The Russian Tea Room.

Chandler: Who's treating?

Joey: I am.

Chandler: Amazing!

Joey: Hey! I have money. I have a job on Days Of Our Lives!

Ross: You play a woman.

Joey: A woman in a man's body! Why can't you people get that? It's really not that hard. Rachel gets it! (Rachel nods.) Anyway, I always treat on dates.

Ross: Would you stop calling it a date!?

Rachel: You're not jealous of Joey, are you?

Ross: No, no...

Phoebe: Of course he is.

Monica: Yep.

Ross: Wh- no, not at all. I'm just concerned because I know what Joey does on dates.

Joey: Oh, come on, Ross. You think I'd do that on a date with Rachel when I know you're going out with her?

Chandler: Are you saying that if those two weren't going out, you'd use your moves on Rachel?

Rachel: (Laughing.) I'm not gonna fall for Joey's moves.

Ross: Hey, here's an idea. We stop calling it a date and (To Joey.) you don't use your moves on Rachel!

[Scene: Joey and Rachel's. Joey is helping Rachel finish packing.]

Joey: (Holding a pillow.) Where does this go?

Rachel: Uh, the boxed marked "pillows."

Joey: Ohh, right.

Rachel: Are you going to get a new roommate?

Joey: I don't know. I'm still thinking about it. I mean, new roommates don't always work out. I mean, remember Chandler's roommate Eddie? And Janine hated Monica and Chandler.

Rachel: Yeah, that's true.

Joey: You're a great roommate. Even better than Chandler.

Rachel: Oh, thanks. You're a good roommate too. Definitely better than Monica.

Joey: Uh, we won't tell them we said that, right?

Rachel: Right.

Joey: Good. (Holding another pillow.) Where does this one go?

[Scene: Monica and Chandler's. Everyone is there. Rachel and Joey are about to leave.]

Phoebe: Oh, look at you two, all dressed up. It looks just like you're going on a date.

Rachel: Would you stop that? You've had dinner with Joey before. You didn't call that a date.

Monica: No, she's right though. You guys look like a couple.

Chandler: Yep, it does.

Phoebe: Oh, they'd be so cute together.

Monica: Think of what their kids would look like!

Ross: That, that's so funny, 'cause, last time I checked, Joey was not me. It's my kid. And I thought we agreed that it was not a date!

Chandler: Jeez, relax, man. At least I'm not going out with her too, right?

(They all laugh.)

Monica: You and Rachel, on a date? (They all laugh again.)

Chandler: What? I could date Rachel.

Rachel: Yeah, right.

Chandler: Are you saying that if we met at a bar and I asked you out you would say no?

Rachel: That's exactly what I'm saying.

Joey: Okay, we better get going, Rach.

Rachel: See you guys later.

(They walk over to the door and the lights go out as Joey opens it.)

Joey: I didn't do it!

[Time lapse. Candles have been lit around the apartment.]

Rachel: I guess we can forget dinner.

Monica: Hey, this is like the blackout we had the year you moved in, Rach.

Rachel: (Looking out the window.) It's not a blackout. They have power a few blocks down. Besides, it's way different. I met Paulo in the first blackout.

Ross: Something none of us wants to remember, I'm sure.

Joey: Aw, man. Some last night as roommates.

Rachel: We can still have fun.

Phoebe: What do you want to do?

Monica: I know!

Chandler: Monica, I don't think cleaning the apartment is what Rachel and Joey had in mind for their last night.

Ross: Come on, I'm sure we can think of something fun to do.

(Pause in which they all have thoughtful looks.)

Ross: Or not.

Joey: Hey, you know what game is always fun?

Rachel: Joey, we're not gonna play strip poker!

Joey: Come on! We'd be playing for the last time as roommates.

Rachel: Not once have we played strip poker since I moved in.

Phoebe: The last time we played strip anything was at Montauk. Remember that?

All: (Not enjoying the topic.) Uh huh.

Phoebe: That was a fun trip. We should do it again sometime.

Monica: No, we're never doing that again.

Joey: Nope.

Phoebe: Okay, I have an idea for what we should do. Or what Joey and Rachel can do anyway.

Rachel: What?

Phoebe: Remember when you moved out of here and you and Monica listed all those things you wouldn't miss? Well, we could do that.

Rachel: But we ended up fighting!

Phoebe: Oh, but then you made up and said all those nice things.

Joey: Okay, I have a better idea! We'll think of bad habits that Ross has. I've already got one! (Imitates the "quiet down" sign.)

Ross: Hey!

Joey: And his air purifier! Man, I hate that thing!

Rachel: Joey...

Joey: And what about the whole "we were on a break" thing, huh?

Rachel: Okay, well, that was my fault, so you can't use that.

Ross: What? No way was that your fault. It was all mine.

Monica: Here we go.

Rachel: No, no, it was more my fault than yours.

Ross: No, it was my fault. You didn't do anything.

Rachel: (Pause.) This is nice.

Ross: Um, that we're arguing?

Rachel: Well, not that we're arguing, but what we're arguing about. We're taking blame instead of trying to lay it.

Ross: Wow, you're right, it is pretty nice.

Chandler: (To Joey.) Looks like your little plan backfired.

Joey: Okay, uh, what about...

Monica: Joey, stop that.

Phoebe: Yeah, Joey, I mean, what are you doing? Trying to break them up?

Rachel: Okay, nothing Joey says is gonna break us up.

Chandler: Yeah, man, just give it up.

Joey: Yeah, okay. (To Ross and Rachel.) Sorry. But, y'know, that air purifier really is awful...

All: Joey!

Joey: What?

[Time lapse. They are playing Monopoly.]

Phoebe: Ugh, we always end up playing this when we're bored.

Monica: It's a fun game.

Joey: That's only because you're on Chandler's team and he always wins!

Rachel: Accountants know about money and stuff.

Chandler: How many times do I have to tell you!? I'm not an accountant!

Ross: We know that, we just say accountant because we don't know what you do.

Chandler: Thanks guys, it's nice to know that you're supportive of my job.

Joey: Okay, Rachel and I have all of the yellow spaces now.

Rachel: Joey, we have a monopoly on the green properties. We don't have any yellow ones.

Joey: Then what are these?

Rachel: Those are Phoebe and Ross's properties.

Joey: Oh. (Gives them back.)

Ross: Hey, question. (To Rachel.) Why aren't we on a team?

Phoebe: Oh, thanks.

Ross: No, it's not, I mean, I was just wondering, y'know?

Rachel: Because it's Joey and my last night, so we had to be on a team.

Joey: That's right!

Phoebe: Besides, they make a cuter couple than you.

Ross: Oh, I thought we were done with that.

Chandler: Y'know, they really do. It's funny.

Monica: I know! Even cuter than Joey and me.

Chandler: Huh?

Monica: The engagement picture.

Chandler: Ohh. Yeah.

[Time lapse. They're done playing.]

Phoebe: (To Joey.) Do it again.

Joey: Okay. (In a deep voice.) Like the sands of the hourglass, so are the days of our lives.

(Phoebe giggles.)

Ross: Please don't ask him to do that anymore.

Joey: I'm hungry.

Monica: You're always hungry.

Joey: Not always, just most of the time.

Rachel: This is worse than the night before I moved out of here.

Phoebe: It's not that bad. I mean, we're all hanging out.

Chandler: We all hang out every day.

Phoebe: Not when the power's out.

Ross: Okay, okay, there has to be something fun we can do.

Monica: Really, like what?

Ross: I don't know. You decide.

Monica: You decide.

Joey: Someone just decide!

Phoebe: Okay, Rachel, you and Joey decide. It's your night.

(Rachel and Joey converse quietly.)

Joey: We wanna play strip poker!

(Rachel nods and shrugs.)

(The others look at them in disbelief.)

[Time lapse. They are playing poker.]

Joey: I still wish we could've played strip poker.

Chandler: Regular poker is just as fun, man.

Joey: Are you kidding?

Monica: Of course not. My husband does not play strip poker.

Chandler: That's right.

Rachel: Look, let's just play.

Phoebe: At least this is more fun than Monopoly.

Ross: Pheebs, you owe me seven dollars.

Phoebe: This game sucks.

Monica: Joey, are you going to get a new roommate now that Rachel's moving out?

Joey: Oh, well, we were talking about this before and I've been thinking that it might not be a good idea. (To Chandler.) Remember Eddie?

Chandler: Not all people are like Eddie. Eddie was a psychopath. Let's try not to remember Eddie.

Phoebe: Oh, I liked Eddie.

Joey: What about Janine? I mean, I just don't want to get a roommate and then have to make them move back out if it doesn't work.

Rachel: He has a point.

Phoebe: Yeah. I live alone. It's not so bad.

Joey: Yeah, but you have a big, nice apartment. With a skylight. It's more fun for you.

Phoebe: That is true. You've got yourself a problem.

Ross: I've lived alone for a long time too. And you have a job now, so you don't have to have a roommate.

Joey: I know. I guess it's not that I don't want a new roommate, it's just that I know that someone else won't be as great as Rachel.

Rachel: Oh, that's so sweet. I'm sure you're a much better roommate than Ross will be.

Ross: Uh, hello, I can hear you.

Rachel: I know.

[Time lapse. They're done playing poker.]

Monica: The power's been out for, like, eight hours!

Ross: It's been out for four hours.

Monica: Same difference!

Joey: I thought of some more bad habits Ross has...

Rachel: Joey!

Chandler: You gotta stop that, Joe. It's getting annoying now and I think Monica might explode.

Phoebe: Yeah, Joey.

Joey: Okay, I guess you guys are right. (To Ross and Rachel.) You're taking this huge step, and if that's what makes you happy...

Rachel: It, it's not that huge...

Joey: What, are you kiddin' me? It's one of the biggest steps a couple can take! That and marriage. I mean, come on. You'll be living together. Huge step.

Rachel: Yeah...it is pretty big, isn't it...we'll be living together...around each other all the time...forever...I, I'm gonna just go get some fresh air. I'll, I'll be back in a few minutes. (Gets up slowly and walks out to the balcony.)

Ross: Look what you did! You freaked her out! Thanks a lot, Joey!!! (Follows her outside.)

Joey: What did I say?

(Monica, Phoebe, and Chandler glare at him.)

[Cut to balcony.]

Ross: Rach? You okay?

Rachel: Yeah, yeah, I, I'm fine.

Ross: You don't seem so fine.

Rachel: Do you think we're moving too fast? I mean, Joey's right, this is a big step...

Ross: (Takes her hands.) I don't think we're moving too fast. I know we're not moving too fast. You are my best friend, Rachel, and my soul mate. You make me happier than I've ever been before. Most people are never lucky enough to find what we have. I know that you're the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. I don't care how fast we go, because I know that we're going to end up together forever.

(Note from the author: Now, would they ever actually say that? Nooo. Their lines are never more than a couple sentences long, but this is my story, so deal with it.)

Rachel: (Tearing up.) I love you.

Ross: I love you too.

(They kiss.)

[Cut to inside. The four are looking out the window.]

Monica: I wonder what he's saying.

Phoebe: Oh, something really sweet, 'cause she's crying.

Chandler: (To Joey.) Why do women cry whenever someone says anything remotely romantic?

(Joey shrugs.)

Monica: Oh, they're kissing.

Phoebe: Oh, I have to know what he said!

(They see Ross and Rachel coming back in and the rest hurry and try to look like they weren't spying.)

Monica: So, Chandler, tell us more about your job. It's so interesting.

Joey and Phoebe: Oh, yeah, come on, tell us.

Rachel: We know you guys were watching.

Chandler: That went well. And you guys still don't know what I do.

Monica: Okay, whatever. What happened? (To Ross.) What did you say?

Rachel: Let's just say I don't have any doubts about moving in with Ross.

Monica and Phoebe: Aww.

Chandler: Aww what?

(Joey shrugs.)

[Time lapse.]

Monica: Ugh.

Phoebe: Monica, I'm sure the power will be back on soon!

Ross: (Looking out the window.) Oh my God!

All: What?

Ross: Fire! My building is on fire! It's on fire!!!

(They all get up to look.)

Rachel: Oh my God!

Joey: Whoa, cool!

Ross: That's not cool! My building is on fire! Call the fire department! Call, now!

Monica: I'm sure someone from your building already called...

Ross: Call! Call now! Now!

(Monica backs away fearfully.)

Chandler: Wow, that sure is burning fast.

Ross: Okay, my home is on fire! Do something! Now, now, now!

Phoebe: What are we supposed to do!? Go over there and spit on the flames!? That would be kinda fun, though. (The lights come back on.) Oh, yay! (Series of loud crashes from Ross's building.) Oh, no.

[Scene: The street outside Ross's building. The fire had been put out, but Ross's building is destroyed. The six are there. Ross is talking to a fireman.]

Ross: Everything was destroyed!?

Fireman: Just about.

Ross: Do you know what caused the fire?

Fireman: We haven't found the cause yet. We might not, considering the serious damage.

Joey: Hey! This means you're not moving out, right Rach?

(Ross glares at him.)

Rachel: Um, well, I don't know.

Monica: Wow, this sucks.

Chandler: Yeah, man, all your dinosaur stuff burned up.

Ross: I don't care about that stuff, it's all fake!

Phoebe: You told me it was real!

Ross: I lied!

Phoebe: I can't believe you!

Rachel: I knew they were fake.

Monica: So did I.

Joey: (To Ross.) You have insurance, don't you?

Ross: Well, yeah. I just, I don't know. I really liked that apartment. I guess I'm more upset about Rachel not moving in. I was really psyched about that.

Rachel: Oh! Oh, you can stay with Joey and me until we find a new place. He can stay with us, right Joey?

Joey: Yeah, okay.

Monica: See, you guys, this will be nice 'cause now you can pick out an apartment together.

Ross: Yeah, I guess you're right. This will be nice. And we can buy all new furniture together. It'll be really fun.

Rachel: Yeah! See, some good came out of this whole thing.

Chandler: But it would've been so much better if the building hadn't burned down.

Phoebe: Why do you do that?

(Chandler shrugs.)

- End -

I want feedback! E-mail me at [email protected]. Please read the continuation of this one, TO On Valentine's Day.