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When in the
Course of human errors, it becomes absolutely necessary for one
group of people to dissolve the internet companies, which has connected
them with another, and to assume among the powers of computers,
the separate and equal state to which the Laws of PCs and of Coding
which geeks gave them, entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions
of mankind, suggests that they should declare the cuases which works
them to the separation.
We should hold these truths to be technologicaly inclined, that
all Instant Messengers are created equal, that they are endowed
by their author, the geek that gives us something else to do with
our time, with certain unpopular rights, that among these are Electricity,
ONEs and ZEROs and the pursuit of Hackers everywhere. --That to
secure these rights, some nerds have instituted among Men, deriving
their just powers from the consent of these nerds, --That whenever
any Make of Computer becomes utterely annoying becuase of these
ends, it is the Right of the Nerds and Geeks to alter or to abolish
it, and to institute new Updates and in rare cases, new Programs,
laying this foundation on such principles and organizing its powers
in such form, as to them it might seem very very likely to effect
their ONEs and ZEROs. Much wasted time, indeed, will dictate that
Companies long established should not be changed for light and nomad
cuases; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind
are more disposed to suffer, while viruses and trojans are sufferable,
than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are
use to. But when a large grouping of abuses and uprisings, pursuing
invariably the same Problematic evinces a design to reduce them
under absolute Absolute Power, it is their right, and their duty,
to throw off such Problems and Violations, and to provide new Blocks
for their future security. --Such has been the patient sufferance
of these Programs; and such is now the necessity which constrains
them to alter their former Systems of Messaging. The history of
the present ICQ Messenger is a history of repeated injuries and
uprisings, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute
Application over these Programs. To prove this, let Facts be submitted
to a unsuspetting matrix of the internet.
It has refused it's Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary
for the IMers good.
It has forbidden his Nerds and Geeks and Professional Programers
to pass Laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended
in their operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when
so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.
It has refused to use new Window Designs for the accommodation of
Users, unless those users would relinquish the right of Representation
in the Court of Silly-Nonsense, a right impossible to estimate to
them and formidable to crackers only.
It has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable,
and distant from the home of their writers and designers, for the
sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with its measures.
It has dissolved Other Instant Messneger Programs repeatedly, for
opposing with ease-of-use firmness, its invasions on the rights
of the people.
It has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause
others to be used; whereby the Legislative powers, incapable of
Annihilation, have returned to the Users at large for their exercise;
the
Other Companies remaining in the mean time exposed to all the dangers
of invasion from without, and convulsions within.
It has combined with the GIANT AOL, to subject us to an application
foreign to our computer knowledge and unacknowledged by our laws;
giving its Assent to their Acts of "pretended" Legislation:
For depriving us, in many cases, of the benefits of Inside Programming:
We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature
to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded
them of the circumstances of our computer compatibility. We have
appealed to its native coding, and we have conjured them by the
ties of our common users to disavow these uprisings, which, would
inevitably interrupt our connections and "Buddy Lists©."
We must, therefore, in the necessity which denounces our Separation,
and hold them, as we hold the rest of the Programs, Enemies in War,
in Peace Friends.
We, therefore, the Representatives of the Other Instant Messenger
Applications, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme
Judge of the internet for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in
the Name, and by the Authority of the good and bad Users of these
Applications, solemnly publish and declare, That these United Programs
are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent; that they are
Absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all
connection between them and the is ICQ, is and ought to be totally
stopped; and that as Free and Independent Programs, they have full
Power to start cracking battles, conclude Peace, contract Alliances,
establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Thingies which
Independent Programs may of right do. And for the support of this
Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Usage,
we mutually pledge to each other our Words of Conversation, our
Profiles and our sacred ScreenNames.
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