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| July 2005 |
| Thursday July 7, 2005: Woohoo!!!!!!! I didn't think I could do it but I did!!!!! But 35 weeks ago I saw something I didn't think was possible, and yesterday (and I even doubled checked this morning) I did it again. I saw those beautiful number ..... 199. As in 199 lbs!!!!! I cannot believe it. I haven't even been in the gym in weeks. I never thought it would happen, to be honest I was beginning to give up hope. I thought just be happy that I'm back to a size 16 and 85 lbs less. But low and behold I'm there. I can't believe it took 35 weeks to get back there, but I did it. Now I only have another 49 lbs to go to get to a realistic goal. I have finally learned to stop the chocolate munching, or at least get a hold of it and choke it's ugly little fat butt into some sort of submission. Not to mention the portion control and learning not to eat just because it's there, but to eat only if I'm hungry and learning what it's like to feel full again. Maybe the heat has something to do with it, I don't know. All I do know is that I am so happy and estatic to be back under 200 lbs. Now I really have to make sure I stay under it. I know I passed the "window" to lose as much as possible, but that doesn't mean I can't do my damnest to contimue to work towards my goal. Now as long as I keep doing what I'm doing, I may just be the poster child for hope after the window of opportunity. I finally got into my stuff upstairs and pulled out a huge lot of summer shirts. Can you believe I have a handful of shirts that I'm getting rid of because they are too big, and I have nnoooooo intention of fitting back into them. I have a bunch of others that I haven't worn in over 3 years. I am so happy I have you guys to share this with, he's too busy sleeping to share in my joy. Oh man this is going to be a great summer!!!!! Let's keep our fingers crossed for next week that I stay under 200, Pray I never go back there again. |
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| Thursday July 14, 2005: You sometimes getting stressed out and getting sick over can be a good thing...hahaha. I'm kidding, getting sick over being stressed out is not good. But it did e some good. I lost an amazing 4 lbs!!!!! It helped that I was sick to my stomach yesterday and didn't eat a thing. But still 4 more pounds!!!! I haven't had a weekly loss like that in months, maybe in a year. I have not weighed 195 in over 4 years!!!! This is huge, now I am only 7 lbs away from hitting my 100 lb loss mark. I am so going not to blow this. I am hoping that due to not eating from being sick and now being able to eat is going to see a gain next week. I'm just going to keep to what I am doing, and hopefully that will continue to work. I really need to get my ass back in the gym, but it has been so hot here and humid. Not to mention I don't trust leaving the house alone without someone here. I know no excuse but wait to you here what's been happening and you decide. But it's later right now and I need to hit the sack and try to cool down for the night, I promise good gossip. It's not the best of news but it is gossip and you'll see why i am so stressed. I just can't catch a break here. Nitey nite!!!! |
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| Friday July 22, 2005: I cannot begin to explain how stressed and depressed I am. Okay everything in a nutshell we need to move again. The bikes are in a temporary storage and we are in need for a new place to live, with a garage. We need nothing short of a miracle to pull something like that off. It is killing me because there is no reason why we should not be able to have our own home. But as life would happen we can't afford one. we barely have a pot to piss in. I don't think we can even afford a wedding next year. I feel at such a loss for words, between not knowing what I did to deserve this continual downfall. I am grateful for him, and what I do have, but I feel as if I keep losing everything, every dream I ever had. As it is it's almost a year since I lost the baby, and it's killing me to know that due to our situation we can't afford to have a child. I am just feeling so overwhelmed that it feels like I'm being crushed. Maybe I'm over reacting, but I am just feeling so desparate for something good to happen to us, I don't know. I haven't lost anything else, weight wise, and I'm really not eating. Having no air conditioner is not helping things either so I am feeling really out of it in this humidity. I'm just hoping that maybe we can have some time to ourselves this Sunday and go to the beach and try to forget about things for a little while. We'll see. |
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| Friday July 29, 2005: Not much happening, I got my appetite back a bit, not good. But at least i haven't gained, so that's good. Things so far are quiet on the home front and I like it that way. I am looking forward to this weekend. Sunday especially. Last Sunday we went to the beach and had a blast together. Then ended up at the nautical mile and had a fabulous seafood lunch, then it was off to a quick nap and shower and then we went to the movies to see War of the Worlds, which I must say I was impressed. I loved the original. |
| So I am so hoping for another sunday to repeat. We hardly ever get real quaility time together and it is exactly what we need. God knows we get so little of it. But will check in next week. I am going to bring my boss with me to the gym. She wants to try it out so I'm gonna get some passes and remotivate myself back into it. I need to if I think I am going to look halfway decent in a wedding dress next year (hopefully), nite!!!!! |
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