Saturday December 27, 2003:
Well I hope everyone enjoyed their holiday. We had a nice family Christmas. We spent Christmas Eve at my mom's, and Christmas day at his brother's. It was nice and not too hectic, which doesnt explain why I feel so wiped out. The day after Christmas I slept all day. And even today I still feel tired and out of it. I was supposed to have a "girls night" but it got canceled, which I guess was for the best. But we ended up at his brother's house again for a left over dinner party. I even contributed the stuffed shells I made for Xmas Eve, which went over quite well....:))))
Now I am anxiously awaiting Tuesday. I am praying and hoping against hope that I will be granted an approval instead of a denial. I have to say I am not happy about how I spent this year. I have done nothing really productive outside this website and fighting for my surgery. That is so unlike me. But I am going to make a promise to myself for the New Year. One is to continue to fight for my surgery, two to get involved in a training program and three, to make more of an effort to take care of my mental and emotional health ( I need to make my appointment with the shrink for meds and stop avoiding the situation).
I don't think that these 3 goals are unattainable. I just need to focus and move forward. I just wish I could sleep. That in itself has become harder to have, and good sleep is rare for me now. It's no wonder why I am so out of it during the day and garble my words in a conversation. But I have to remember one day at a time.
But before I go, I want to make a promise to those who have stuck around reading my journal and those who come along hereafter, and thats to never forget to update this journal, even after surgery. I know that once I have surgery my life will change for the better and will be more hectic than ever, but I will always make the time to update. And I will make it a point that after a year or two, I will make quarterly entries to keep everyone up to date. The reason for this is because I am so frustrated in finding journals left open ended. Especially since you don't know if there were complications or further successes down the road. I don't want to do that to my reader. Well its almost 3 am and I need to try and sleep, best wishes to all, and I'll let you know what happens on Tuesday. Wish me luck!!!! |
