Thursday April 13, 2006:
I know I've been bad, I haven't been around, but in all honesty I have good reason!!! I have been busy with all the wedding planning. I can't believe how much still has to get done and how little time I have left to do it all in. It's unreal... But the good news is I've got a dress!!! We bought (or should I say my big sister bought my dress), this past Saturday. The weekend before I was completely depressed, and I do mean depressed. I couldn't find anything I like, nor could I fit into anything. On top of it the consultant would just leave me standing there and disappear, it was ridiculous. I kept feeling like the other brides-to-be were getting more attention because they were thinner and I just wanted to run and hide. Needless to say I was a wreck for a week, so much so it was noticeable at work, that I had to fake that I wasn't feeling good. Yeah I was unbearable to live with.
So with a brave face I went out again to try on more gowns. I started to get discouraged because the first place also didn't have gowns that fit, I could squeeze into a few, but it was so hard to see if they were the right gown. Then I tried on this gorgeous antique white strapless gown. It was beautiful,and for the first time I started to feel like a bride. The only problem was I almost looked like a 10lb sack of potatoes in a 5lbs bag. I knew it had to be ordered in my size but I did love it. And then we went to the second shop. And I was almost ready to leave, nothing I tried looked good, and everytime I put something on I kept seeing the other gown. And then I slipped into the one, and I was sold. It's beautiful, I get that old fashion feel with a modern touch. It is so hard to describe. And best of all it made me look thinner, if that was even possible!!! So needless to say I started having a much better outlook, feeling better, had a great week at work and low and behold I'm off for Good Friday...yeah!!!! There is still a lot of planning, and things to buy, but I am feeling soooo much better.
Now for the bad news, I have no idea what the hell is going on with my body. Out of no where I am back to 196!!!! I'm barely eating, and when I do eat I'm actually eating right. I have my granola energy bar in the morning and a fruit salad or just chicken for lunch. My dinners are small and eating healthy. I don't get it. My period ended last week, but I can't explain where this weight came from. I am beyond frustrated. My sister gave me some pilates dvds that I'm going to start this weekend, I know I really need to get to my endocrinologist. I have a very bad feeling my PCOS is rearing it's ugly head, cause my period is starting to become irregular and my body hair seems to be getting thicker...yuck!!!!
In other news I also am treating my self to a procedure to make myself look picture ready for the wedding. No I'm not having surgery, I'm doing the Titan Lift on my neck and chin area. I used to have no neck, it was all chin, now I know I still have fat there, but I have a lot of skin just hanging. So after lots of research I am sold and I start my first treatment tomorrow. What it is is a laser treatment that produces collegan taht tightens up the skin in the trreated area, hence in six months I will have a jaw line. Amazing right? I've seen the results on others and it's been published and renowned all the way from the news, to the View and Oprah. So tomorrow I start, and I'll go once a month, ending 2 weeks before the wedding. They say you can see results right away, but to ensure I get the best results I'm doing 6...I'll check in this weekend and let you know how it goes, and I'll start the before & after photos so you can see...Ciao!!!!
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