Me: Okay, now we start on the quote 'teeming, squalid streets of Paris. Beggars, urchins, prostitutes,
students, etc."

Valjean: Well, that sounds like fun...

Gavroche: It sounds familiar...

Me: I know, this is where we meet all the good characters!!!

Valjean: Well, fine, be that way.

Me: Oh, Valjean, you're in this too. It's just you know, a lot of good characters instead of just you, Javert and Fantine.

Valjean: Yeah, I'm sure that's what you meant...

Me: Oh, you are such a prima donna!!

Valjean: Me? Like you should speak...

Me: Anyhow...

Valjean: Keep that up and I'll count those too.

Me: Can we get on with this? Okay, good! Ready Gavroche?

Gavroche: Yep!

Me: Okay then...

Gavroche: How do you do? My name's Gavroche
These are my people, here's my patch
Not much to look at, nothing posh
Nothing that you'd call up to scratch
This is my school, my high society
Here in the slums of Saint Michele
We live on crumbs of humble piety
Tough on the teeth, but what the hell!
Think you're poor?
Think you're free?
Follow me, follow me!

Me: Oh you are so cute! I just want to pinch your cheeks!

Gavroche: Don't even think about it...

Me: Admit it, you are just adorable!

Gavroche: Yeah, she's insane...

Me: Oh Enjolras, where are you?

Marius: Right here!

Enjolras: Ugh, my vest!

Marius: Fits good, doesn't it Enjolras?

Enjolras: (looking down at his own apparel) And I just love your clothing

Marius: Where did you get this vest? I like it, and it's a magnet for women.

Cosette: Marius!

Enjolras: Is that where they all come from? Well then you can keep it...

Eponine: No!

Enjolras: Eponine? What does it matter?

Eponine: Trust me, just keep the vest.

Enjolras: I do actually like the vest...

Eponine: Then it's settled. Marius, the vest is on loan.

Marius: Fine, but I want to know where he got it, I want one

Enjolras: ::cou-Imadeit-gh::

Marius: What was that?

Enjolras: Imadeit.

Marius: I still didn't catch that Enjolras...

Enjolras: I made it.

Marius: (suppressing a laugh) You made it?

Enjolras: I needed a vest and I was not going to make one of the poor oppressed people make it!

Marius: You are such a weirdo...

Enjolras: High praise coming from you loverboy.

Grantaire: Hey, actually, you're the loverboy

Enjolras: Ok, I definitely don't like that title. I mean, lover, maybe of country but boy, I think that I'm old enough to be considered a man! Besides, no one would ever call me loverboy.

Grantaire: Yeah, like I believe that. Oh, wait, I do believe that...In mercy's name Enjolras, you are sooooooo boring!!!

Enjolras: I am not boring, just because I have morals and the such does not make me-

Grantaire: BORING!!!

Me: Let's get on with this. Marius, if you please...

Marius (as Enjolras): Where the leaders of the land? Take me to your leader!
Where are the swells who run this show? Swells?

Wait, if he was looking for leaders, why is he in the slums and stuff?

Enjolras: Obviously the people in the musical did not want to have a whole other scene.

Courfeyrac: And besides, we're conformists and everyone else was in the slums, we didn't want to be left out!!!

Marius (as Enjolras): With all the anger in the land
How long before the judgment day?
Before we cut the fat ones down to size? ::casts glance at Mme.Thenardier::
Before the barricades ariiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiise?

Eponine: Oh, I love that note.

Enjolras: That note used to be mine

Eponine: And you did it very well Enjolras.

Enjolras: Well, thank you Eponine.

Eponine: You are very welcome.

Gavroche: Watch out for old Thenardier
All of his family is on the make Well, I'm not really on the make, whatever that means...
Once ran a hash-house down the way
Bit of a swine and no mistake
He's got a gang
The bleeding layabout
Even his daughter does her share
That's Eponine, she knows her way about
Only a kid, but hard to scare
Do we care?
Not a cuss!
Long live us, long live us! Ah, how ironic those words seem now...::begins humming La Morte de Gavroche::

Thenardier: Everyone here, you know your place
Brujon, Babet, Claquesous
You, Montparnasse, watch for the law

Grantaire: This part stinks

Montparnasse: Yeah, try living it

Thenardier: I was talking here!
With Eponine, take care.
You turn on the tears
No mistakes, my dears

Enjolras (as Marius): Hey Eponine, what's up today?
I haven't seen you much about.

Wow, I'm corny...

Marius: Hey!

Me: You're on Cosette!

Cosette: Ooh, yeah! (as Eponine) Here, you can always catch me in.

Enjolras (as Marius): Mind the police don't catch you out! The corniness is astonishing

Cosette (as Eponine): Here, whatcher doing with all them books?
I could have been a student too!
Don't judge a girl on how she looks...
I know a lot of things I do! I sure do, I grew up in a convent, I'm real smart!

Enjolras (as Marius): Poor Eponine, the things you know
You wouldn't find in books like these.

Eponine: Are you implying something?

Cosette (as Eponine): I like the way you grow your hair

Enjolras: I would thank you to keep your comments to your self, madame!

Me: That's not your line

Enjolras (as Marius): I like the way you always tease ::co-corny-ugh::

Cosette (as Eponine): Little he knows!
Little he sees! Oh, poor me, give me a break, notice me!

Me: (evil laughter) My plan is working, my plan is working!

Javert (as Valjean): ...What is this? Are you mad?
No, Monsieur, you don't know what you do!...

Cosette (as Eponine): It's the police! Disappear!
Run for it! It's Javert! Ah, scary man!

Javert: You had better run, run all you criminals, run!!!

Valjean (as Javert): Why does Javert have all the best music? It's not fair!
Another brawl in the square
Another stink in the air! Stink in the air?
Was there a witness to this?
Well, let him speak to Javert! Yep, speaking of yourself in the third person? No, not crazy at all...
M'sieur, the streets are not safe,
But let these vermin beware
We'll see that justice is done!

Look upon this fine collection
Crawled from underneath a stone
This swarm of worms and maggots

Thenardier: Hey!

Montparnasse: Hey!

Mme. Thenardier: Hey!

Could have picked you to the bone!
I know this man over here Hey, I know you!
I know his name and his trade Something with a 'T'. What was it? 'Thompson', 'Tinklebrain?', ah, what was it?
And on your witness, M'sieur,
We'll see him suitably paid.

Thenardier: Paid? I get paid? I thought this was volunteer work or something.

[Valjean and Cosette have disappeared.]

But where's the gentleman gone?
And why on earth did he run? Well, duh!!!

Thenardier: You will have a job to catch him
He's the one you should arrest
No more bourgeois when you scratch him
Than that brand upon his chest!

Marius: I don't get it...

[The constables search for Valjean.]

Valjean (as Javert): Oh, this is the greatest music in the world! Listen to that guitar, just listen to it!
Could it be he's some old jailbird Hey, I'm not that old!
That the tide now washes in
Heard my name and started running Oh yes, the big, scary cop
Had the brand upon his skin
And the girl who stood beside him
When I turned they both had gone
Could he be the man I've hunted? Man, I love this music!
Could it be he's Jean Valjean? You know it!

Me: Now, Valjean, show your stuff!

Javert: Oh, this is my song! I like this song! He can't have my song! It's my song!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Valjean (as Javert): There, out in the darkness it's not quite dark if there are stars
A fugitive running It was more like a trot
Fallen from God Ahem, Sister Simplice means nothing to you?
Fallen from grace Whatever...
God be my witness he has better things to do
I never shall yield obviously
Till we come face to face weirdo
Till we come face to face well, at least my face is prettier
He knows his way in the dark actually, I need a lantern
But mine is the way of the Lord yeah, hunting down good citizens
And those who follow the path of the righteous by becoming mayor
Shall have their reward Yup, drowning is a great reward!
And if they fall they fall on their butt
As Lucifer fell Okay, comparing me to the devil is a little much
The flame Candlesticks!!!
The sword! Oh, that's harsh
Stars are just balls of gas
In your multitudes Les me count thee. One, two, three, four...
Scarce to be counted I just did!
Filling the darkness Well, there's always the moon
With order and light order?
You are the sentinels ::goes to dictionary:: sentinels, sentinels, ah, here it is, oh, it means guards, cool! Learn something new everyday!
Silent and sure Not like all those 'noisy' stars...
Keeping watch in the night
Keeping watch in the night Hey, this line looks familiar
You know your place in the sky He's talking to the stars
You hold your course and your aim Still talking to the stars...
And each in your season Weirdo...
Returns and returns And repeats and repeats
And is always the same just like your dialogue
And if you fall as Lucifer fell This is again familiar
You fall in flame! Oh, I'm so scared
And so it has been Since I was born 1000 years ago
And so it is written Along with my lovey-dovey poetry
On the doorway to paradise I thought it was a gate
That those who falter and those who fall Harsh man
Must pay the price! Chill out
Lord let me find him Yeah, like He has nothing better to do than find little old me
That I may see him I'm right here, what, are you blind?
Safe behind bars Okay, this song is making me scared
I will never rest You really need to Javert, those bags under your eyes, not good.
Till then, this I swear You shouldn't swear
This I swear by the stars! Oh, actually, that line is cool! You know what? You're a pretty deep man!

Javert: That's my song!

Valjean: Don't worry about it, you get to sing it a lot more than I do.

Javert: But it's my song!!!!!!!!

Valjean: I have a question. How come Javert has all the good songs, and the good music, when I'm the good guy?

Me: I really wouldn't know, sorry.

Valjean: Oh, nobody loves me!!!

Cosette: Oh, I love you papa!

Valjean: Thank you Cosette.

Javert: Anyway...

Valjean: 4

Me: Hey, that wasn't even me!

Valjean: It's your influence, therefore indirectly it does go into the count!!!

Me: Ugh, now I know why nobody likes you...

Valjean: Oh, meany!

Me: Hey, Enjolras, you want to sing with Javvy again for me?

Enjolras: Please, spare me.

Me: In Lily's eyes a castle...

Enjolras: Note to self: Never, ever, sing in front of weird writer lady again, underline, underline

Javert: He's talking to himself again...

Enjolras: Whatever old man. You're the one who is senile.

Javert: Senile? I'm just as sane as I was the day I was born

Valjean: Which means he was never quite right.

Javert: Hey, at least I didn't become a criminal

Valjean: Yeah, coulda, woulda, shoulda...

Javert: I hate you.

Valjean: What a surprise...

Me: You're a nincompoop Blakeny, always said you were- I mean you're a nincompoop Valjean.

Valjean: Hey, we're already doing a musical, keep the Pimpernel out of this!

Me: Hey, I like the Pimpernel!

Javert: You would.

Me: That makes no sense, you really do need to get some better comebacks.

Javert: Fine, I will. ::He goes to Amazon.com and orders a book of comebacks. He then hangs up the phone and crosses his arms. A minute later the doorbell rings::

Me: I had no idea you were ordering from Acme.

Marius: Duh?

Me: A joke, you know, coyote and roadrunner?

Marius: Duh?

Me: Nevermind. ::Javert bursts out laughing and we all look at him, for to see Javert laugh was a terrifying experience::

Javert: (realizing everyone is staring at him) Ahem, sorry, it's just that some of these are really good.

Valjean: Yeah, ok, whatever.

Me: Can we get on with this? Gavroche?

Gavroche: Hey, I'm ready!
That inspector thinks he's something
But it's me who runs this town! Oh yeah, you know it!
And my theater never closes
And the curtain's never down

Marius: Duh?

Cosette: Nevermind darling.

Marius: Okay pookybear.

Trust Gavroche, have no fear
Don't you worry, auntie dear,

Thenardier: Oh please tell me that my sister-in-law isn't coming for a visit.

You can always find me here! Well, actually, sometimes I'm at the picture show, I do have a life you know. Oooh, a rhyme!

Grantaire: Oh, Disc two, Breaktime!

Me: We did like three songs!

Grantaire: But you have to change the cd and-

Me: That will take two seconds.

Grantaire: Breaktime!

Me: Well, since you guys asked so nicely... But if you guys sang again I would be very happy!!!

Enjolras: No, I will not do that, not with him!

Me: You're mean!

Enjolras: Am not, I just have some sense of dignity, you know, pride? It's a novel concept actually... ::I, being the juvenile I am, stick out my tongue at him.:: Well, that's uncalled for.

Me: Fine, give me the phone.

Marius: Ha, I get that one!!!

Cosette: You are so smart sweeting.

Marius: Thank you darling.

Me: Eww, someone stop them, I'm going to be sick...

Pipi: Why didn't we ever sing 'Lovely Ladies'!?!?

Me: Pipi? What are you doing here? You're not supposed to be here!

Pipi: But, no one ever visits me on my page and I'm lonely...Where are all the little girls?

Cosette: I'm kinda young, Eponine too, and Azelma's even younger.

Pipi: I like little girls...

Me: No kidding...

Gavroche: I'm a little boy, but I'm tough!

Pipi: I only want to talk to little girls! Do you even know who I am? I'm 'Pipi: The Boy Who Loved Too Much.'

Gavroche: Well, that's nice...

Pipi: Isn't it?

Gavroche: Yeah...

Me: Pipi, we're in the middle of something, go back to camp!

Pipi: But-

Me: Now! Or I'll write a chapter in which Pipi gets eaten by a bear.

Pipi: Gulp, I think I'll be going now...If you'll excuse me I think I'll be going now, it was nice meeting all of you. Cosette, Eponine, Azelma, until we meet again...

Pipi leaves, Thank Goodness!

Enjolras: He's an odd little character...

Me: Sure is! But that's the way we like him.

Enjolras: Yes...

Me: Oh be quiet

Grantaire: I love breaktime cause it's so delicious, gone go breaktime!

Enjolras: Obviously Grantaire has found some liquor

Grantaire: Nope, I'm just getting buzzed on that vest you made.

Javert: The boy sews! Ha!

Enjolras: Oh, be quiet

Valjean: Oh get a life Javert!

Javert: I do have a life, what world are you living in Valjean?

Valjean: I live in Valjean's world, ok?

Javert: ::flips open book:: Valjean's world closed because of lack of people who wanted to visit it! Ha!

Enjolras: I'm afraid, that was actually halfway witty...

Javert: Oh that was fun...

Me: A witty Javert is a scary Javert.

Eponine: Sure is, but then he always was.

Gavroche: I'm hungry

Fantine: Would you like a juice box? How about some animal crackers?

Gavroche: ::giving her a look of 'What in the world are you talking about':: What in the world are you talking about?

Fantine: Sorry, motherly instincts I guess...

Grantaire: I think we could all go for a snack, or a very large meal, dinner perhaps?

Enjolras: I must agree with Grantaire on this.

Combeferre: I concur as well

Eponine: I could definitely go for some food...

Javert: Me too...

Me: Ugh, fine. I swear, you guys are such pigs!

Enjolras: Perhaps if you fed us while you make us slaves to your Broadway whims...

Me: Whatever. What do you guys want?

Grantaire: Let's see, it's dinnertime? So, I could go for some filet mignon, perhaps some lobster, shrimp, chicken cordon-bleu, salmon,-

Me: Ah, I get it, you want everything. I assume the rest of you want that too? I'll order us up some food from that restaurant down the street.

Grantaire: Come on, we need a change in scenery. Can't we go out for a change?

Me: We could but-

Valjean: She's afraid we'll try to escape from her evil grasp.

Javert: Do not worry. We will swear on our honor that we will return back to this infernal pit, I mean, we'll return here after we are done eating.

Me: Well...

Enjolras: Do we all swear on our honor?

All: We swear!

Me: Fine, get your coats, let's go.

Eponine: I don't have a coat

Enjolras: You can use mine

Eponine: Well, thank you

Fantine: Oh, that is so sweet!

So we all leave and go to, what else?, a little French restaurant. The matron only looks a little weirded out and suspicious of a group of 19^th century peoples.

Matron: Right this way

Enjolras: So Eponine, is this what you meant by 'doing something later'?

Eponine: Kind of, but, I was hoping there would be a lot fewer people...

Enjolras: Oh.

So we all sit down at different tables. Most of the Amis are at one large table, along with Gavroche. Cosette and Marius are at another table. Valjean and Fantine are at another. The gang of Patron-Minette is at a table a bit off. Assorted characters are at other tables. Eponine and Enjolras are at one table. And somehow, I get stuck with Javert.

Me: I can't believe I'm stuck here with you.

Javert: This is no picnic for me either.

Matron: Actually, I'm sorry, but we're a table short, so you'll have to be put with the couple at Table 18. I'm terribly sorry for the inconvenience.

We grudgingly get up and head towards Table 18.

Valjean: -And I was thinking to myself, is that Fanntine? I remember her from such a long time ago. And then I realized Javert was being an a-

Javert: Ahem.

Valjean: Oh, Javert! I did not see you there.

Me: There aren't enough tables.

Valjean: Oh... Well, of course you're welcome to-

Javert: Yes, yes, cut the polite talk. Let's order.

Valjean: Of course...

Meanwhile, at Eponine and Enjolras's table

Enjolras: So, Eponine...

Eponine: Yes Enjolras?

Enjolras: Um, tell me something about you.

Eponine: I think you know me well enough.

Enjolras: I know the basics, but tell me something else.

Eponine: Well, I can write.

Enjolras: Really? That is quite impressive

Eponine: Thank you.

Uncomfortable silence abounds...

Enjolras: So...

Eponine: So...

Enjolras: *She died for what she believed in. She died for love. She is one of the poor, one of the oppressed. She is what we were fighting for. She is...beautiful. She is sweet. She is refreshing. She is smiling at me. And I'm smiling back, I can't help myself. What is happening?*

Eponine: *Oh, he's so handsome. And he's here. With me. He looks like he's thinking about something important. I love his eyes. I could get lost in them. He is so complex. I don't think I could ever figure him out, but maybe it's nicer like that. He's such a gentleman. He's so passionate. And strong. And handsome. And he's right here. Oh, I can't stop smiling. And he's smiling back. I love his smile.*

Enjolras: So...

Eponine: Yes, so...

Enjolras: I must admit I really don't know what to say. I'm not really experienced in this kind of thing...

Eponine: That's okay, we can talk about something you're more at ease about.

Enjolras: All I used to have was the revolution, and now...

Eponine: Yeah...

Waiter: Would you like some wine?

Enjolras: Um, we really shouldn't but, why not? We will take a bottle.

Half a glass of wine each later...

Enjolras: I don't understand what it is about fermented grapes that hypnotizes Grantaire so.

Eponine: To each his own

Enjolras: Perhaps ::he takes another sip::

Eponine: Do you feel any different from before we had wine?

Enjolras: I feel as if it is easier to tell you how beautiful I think you are.

Eponine: ::taking the glass away:: I think you've had enough actually...

Enjolras: No, it's true.

Eponine: Well, then thank you, but still, I've heard that wine kills brain cells, and that they never return.

Enjolras: Really? Well, I need all of my cells, thank you very much.

Eponine: Most people do.

Enjolras: So, how are you getting into the part of 'Cosette'? ::he leans in close to whisper:: Drinking a lot of wine?

Eponine: Enjolras!

Enjolras: Oh, excuse me, I can't believe I said that, insulting anyone, especially a woman, I should be ashamed of myself.

Eponine: Perhaps, but...thank you.

Enjolras: Marius is a fool.

Eponine: No, he's-

Enjolras: He's a damned fool for letting you get away from him.

Eponine: He didn't love me.

Enjolras: But you loved him?

Eponine: I was pretty sure I did, but, now I'm not so sure...

Enjolras: Really? I mean, he is married and all but, I thought-

Eponine: Things change.

Enjolras: I see...

Eponine: Yes...

Enjolras: Well, I think I need some more wine.

Eponine: Oh no you don't.

Enjolras: Come on Eponine!

Eponine: I think not.

Enjolras: Please?

Eponine: Oh, you are so cute when you beg.

Enjolras: I am not begging.

Eponine: Sure Enjolras.

Enjolras: Please? Wine? Please?

Eponine: Are you drunk?

Enjolras: I don't know, maybe.

Eponine: Well, sober up!

Enjolras: Well, I'm not Grantaire drunk. Just a little bit less stuffy is all.

Eponine: Uh huh...

Enjolras: Really, I am. I'll count backwards or whatever. Just trust me.

Eponine: Well, you did only have a very small bit of wine.

Enjolras: Then you believe me?

Eponine: I guess so.

Enjolras: Good!

Eponine: So, tell me something about you.

Enjolras: I like you.

Eponine: I think I was wrong when I said you weren't drunk.

Enjolras: Just because I sound like Marius it means I'm drunk? Actually, that would explain a few things...

Eponine: ::laughing:: Oh my, you're a nasty drunk.

Enjolras: I'm not drunk!

Eponine: ::still laughing:: Sure you aren't

Enjolras: ::who is now laughing too:: Ok, maybe I'm a teensy bit drunk.

Eponine: Obviously...
I like your laugh

Enjolras: And I like yours.

Eponine: You should laugh more often

Enjolras: As should you

Eponine: I laugh more than you do.

Enjolras: Then perhaps it will be contagious. ::what could have been a very tender moment is interrupted, but of course, by the waiter delivering the food::

Eponine: Oh, our food is here

Enjolras: So it is.

Eponine: Perhaps you'll sober up when you eat something

Enjolras: Perhaps

Javert: (from across the restaurant, quite loud and a little slurred) -And I didn't believe you! I mean, all prostitutes say that they have a kid or something, how was I supposed to know you were telling the truth?

Enjolras: I think Javert is even drunker than I am.

Valjean: It was a really, really bad idea to tell Javert that the wine was grape juice.

Fantine: What were we thinking?

Valjean: I don't think we were

Me: I'm afraid

Valjean: We were really not thinking

Me: I told you guys it was a bad idea, but no, you had to get Javert drunk. You're like children you two!

Javert: I hatttte shildrennnnnnnnnnnnn!

Fantine: ::giggling:: He is kind of funny though

Me: Oh, I knew this was a bad idea

Eponine: Now that is a sight to behold

Enjolras: As are you Eponine.

Eponine: Have you gotten into the wine again?

Enjolras: Ah, I'm sober as a drunken horse! Oh wait, that's not what I meant to say...

Eponine: You sure don't hold liquor well.

Enjolras: It seems that I do not.

Eponine: Even drunk you are such a gentleman.

Enjolras: Would you have it any other way?

Eponine: Of course not, I quite enjoy you.

Enjolras: As do I you.

Eponine: (glancing at Marius and Cosette) Still...

Enjolras: (following her gaze) Ah, I understand. I don't know if it will help, him being married and all, but-

Eponine: You'll help me make him jealous?

Enjolras: I was going to say 'talk to him about it' but, I am at your service...

Eponine: Okay, kiss me.

Enjolras: What?!

Eponine: I said kiss me, come on.

Enjolras: Okay but--- ::her lips get in the way as she kisses him:: Well that was-

Eponine: Hold on ::she waits until Marius looks at her again, and again kisses Enjolras, quite deeply this time. But, of course, halfway though she stops caring about if Marius is watching and turns her full attention to Enjolras.::

Enjolras: Oh my...

Eponine: Oh my.

Enjolras: That was-

Eponine: Amazing

Enjolras: Quite

Eponine: Oh my...

Enjolras: I think you got Marius's attention

Eponine: Marius who?

Enjolras: I think, I um, have to go now...

Eponine: No, stay

Enjolras: Well, I hope I remember this when I sober up, though I think I'm a lot more sober now.

Eponine: That was really nice

Enjolras: I must say that 'nice' is an understatement

Eponine: Definitely

Javert: I said I was sorry Valjean! Can you just accept my apology? Man, I killed myself over you and you are being such a bourgeois!

Valjean: Javert, you're making a scene

Javert: No! I mean, you know how hard it is to drown yourself? I mean, once you jump off a building or something you can't change your mind, and it ends real quick, but when you drown yourself-

Me: Javert! That's it, we're leaving! I can't ever take you guys anywhere nice without you embarrassing yourselves. Come on, let's go!

Eponine: Can Enjolras and I stay behind? I mean, we were well behaved and everything...

Me: Nope, for lack of a real Javert I'll be the surrogate-hated figure. Now march!

Fantine: Oh, Javert ruined it for everyone

Valjean: Doesn't he always...

Grantaire: I didn't finish my dessert!

Me: Well, that's too bad, blame Javert.

Grantaire: I was just eating my tiramisu, minding my own business and that drunken police inspector had to ruin everything.

Thenardier: Man, I was only able to steal two sets of silver because of that bloody police inspector. He ruins all my plans, he'll pay.

Montparnasse: Agreed.

Back in the 'theater' A little while, and a few aspirin, later

Javert: Ow, my head hurts

Valjean: I wonder why

Javert: I'm sure you have something to do with it.

Me: Okay, breaks over, back to work.

Grantaire: Darn it!

Cosette (as Eponine): Cosette! Now I remember! Wait, I'm talking about myself
Cosette! How can it be? Well, remember, papa came and bought me...
We were children together Yeah, you were mean
Look what's become of me... Hey, I think I turned out pretty good!

[Enjolras (as Marius) returns.]

Good God! Oh, what a rumpus! Rumpus?

Enjolras (as Marius): That girl, who can she be?

Cosette (as Eponine): That cop! He'd like to jump us
But he ain't smart, not he.

Javert: Oh, that is just mean, and rude. You hurt my feelings!

Me: Okay, now into Caf� Musain!

Marius (as Enjolras): The time is near... What time?
So near.. it's stirring the blood in their veins! Ewww, blood!
And yet beware... Of what?
Don't let the wine go to your brains! I'm not Grantaire if that's what you're implying
For the army we fight is a dangerous foe
With the men and the arms that we never can match
Oh, it's easy to sit here and swat 'em like flies
But the national guard will be harder to catch. Oh, sounds fun, sorry I missed this
We need a sign No Smoking, Ha!!!
To rally the people
To call them to arms And legs!
To bring them in line!

[Enjolras (as Marius) enters.]

Marius, you're late. Wait, that's me!!!

Joly: What's wrong today? I know that I feel sick
You look as if you've seen a ghost.

Montparnasse (as Grantaire): Some wine and say what's going on! This part ain't no picnic either

Enjolras (as Marius): A ghost you say... a ghost maybe
She was just like a ghost to me
One minute there, and she was gone! Eww, I hate this part!

Marius (as Enjolras): It is time for us all
To decide who we are...

All: Red - the blood of angry men!
Black - the dark of ages past!
Red - a world about to dawn!
Black - the night that ends at last!

Marius (as Enjolras): Well, Courfeyrac, do we have all the guns? Hey Courfeyrac!
Feuilly, Combeferre, our time is running short.

Combeferre: Am I the only who feels like we're in the Twilight zone?

Feuilly: I must admit that I am a little weirded out by this whole thing.

Marius (as Enjolras): Grantaire, put the bottle down!
Do we have the guns we need?

Montparnasse (as Grantaire): [drunk]: Give me brandy on my breath
And I'll breathe 'em all to death! That's a semi-cool line I guess 

Me: No, a very cool line!

Marius (as Enjolras): Lamarque is dead. Oh no!
Lamarque! His death is the hour of fate. Really?
The people's man.
His death is the sign we await! Cool!
On his funeral day they will honor his name.
It's a rallying cry that will reach every ear! Every? Cause I don't think that all the people in Wisconsin will care-
In the death of Lamarque we will kindle the flame Oooohhh, fire!
They will see that the day of salvation is near!
The time is here! Finally...
Let us welcome it gladly with courage and cheer
Let us take to the streets with no doubt in our hearts
But a jubilant shout
They will come one and all
They will come when we call!

Wow, Enjolras has really cool lines

Enjolras: I wonder why...

Marius (as Enjolras): Do you hear the people sing? No
Singing a song of angry men? I don't hear them
It is the music of a people
Who will not be slaves again! Ah, I see
When the beating of your heart
Echoes the beating of the drums You should see a cardiologist, ha!
There is a life about to start
When tomorrow comes!

Me: Well, that was just great, but, to the garden!

[Eponine (as Cosette) stands in her garden on Rue Plumet.]

Eponine (as Cosette): How strange, this feeling that my life's begun at last It started at dinner
This change, can people really fall in love so fast? I barely know him
What's the matter with you, Cosette? Yeah, what is the matter with you?
Have you been too much on your own? Obviously
So many things unclear Cause you're brain-dead
So many things unknown. You live inside these walls
In my life nothing happens
There are so many questions and answers I'm too stupid to think of
That somehow seem wrong because I'm stupid
In my life nothing ever happens
There are times when I catch in the silence When I would be able to hear myself think, if I ever thought, that is
The sigh of a faraway song Being sung better than I ever could
And it sings right in my ear
Of a world that I long to see other than this stupid garden
Out of reach I have short, stubby fingers
Just a whisper away How far exactly is a whisper?
Waiting for me! The whole world doesn't revolve around you!
Does he know I'm alive? I'm not, you know, I took a bullet and all
Do I know if he's real? A golden statue...
Does he see what I saw? Javert acting like an idiot
Does he feel what I feel? That kiss was amazing...
In my life I get bored
I'm no longer alone Actually...
Now the love in my life thinks I'm annoying
Is so near that it can beat me over the head
Find me now, find me here! Because I'm too stupid to go look for it myself.

Me: She's only a little bitter, isn't she?

Marius: Just a little

Javert (as Valjean): Dear Cosette,
You're such a lonely child Nobody likes you
How pensive, how sad you seem to me Because nobody likes you
Believe me, were it within my power as mayor, right Madeleine?
I'd fill each passing hour with my horrible singing
How quiet it must be, I can see barely, I'm so old I nearly have cataracts
With only me for company. Because I am sooooooo boring

Eponine (as Cosette): There's so little I know What a surprise...
That I'm longing to know because I have nothing else to think about
Of the child that I was You were annoying
In a time long ago Trust me, I was there, you were annoying
There's so little you say Because you hate me
Of the life you have known I annoy you too much
Why you keep to yourself Pss, he's a convict!
Why we're always alone because nobody likes us
So dark, so dark and deep My ugly clothes!
The secrets that you keep! I'm too stupid to understand anyway
In my life Nothing ever, ever, happens
I have all that I want Except friends
You are loving and gentle and good. And boring...
But Papa, dear Papa, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, papa
In your eyes I am just like a child Just as annoying as one
Who is lost in a wood Or just plain lost in my stupidity

Javert (as Valjean): No more words please, be quiet!
No more words, it's a time that is dead and buried and forgotten, so get over it
There are words there sure are, ones I'd like to scream at your annoying face
That are better unheard, better unsaid. Because I'm a renegade convict, who should be in jail!!!

Eponine (as Cosette): In my life I get really bored
I'm no longer a child and I yearn for a life
For the truth that you know It's better than just sitting here
Of the years... years ago! Oh, get a life!

Javert (as Valjean): You will learn to be quiet one day, I hope
Truth is given by God and the prefect
To us all except for you
In our time hopefully yours won't be much longer
In our turn I'd like to turn you, you little...

[Javert (as Valjean) leaves the garden; Enjolras (as Marius) and Cosette (as Eponine) are outside.]

Enjolras (as Marius): In my life I really don't want to be Marius!
She has burst like the music of angels Well, maybe if he were talking of Eponine...
The light of the sun And not that girl he married
And my life seems to stop Ah, barricades, ah, bullets!
As if something is over The revolution
And something has scarcely begun. A new life
Eponine Hello again...
You're the friend who has brought me here to this new light
Thanks to you I am one with the Gods They did always call me Apollo...
And Heaven is near! This song isn't half bad actually...
And I soar through a world that is new that is free... Without oppression and the such

Cosette (as Eponine) [to herself]: Every word that he says is a dagger in me! Duh, I love you stupid!
In my life it's really hard
There's been no one like him anywhere Actually, Enjolras is quite handsome

Marius: Cosette!!!

Anywhere, where he is...
If he asked... I'd be his Well, that's not happening!

Marius: Good to know, hmph!

Enjolras (as Marius) & Cosette (as Eponine): In my life we hate this song
There is someone who touches my life not quite...

Enjolras (as Marius): Waiting near a woman who isn't a complete idiot

Cosette (as Eponine): Waiting here I take offense, I think...

Eponine: Oh, this will be a good song

[Enjolras (as Marius) goes into the garden, leaving Cosette (as Eponine) outside.]

Enjolras (as Marius): A heart full of love...... This is a nice song Eponine...

Eponine (as Cosette): I'm awake! Thankfully

Enjolras (as Marius): A heart full of love A very nice song

Cosette (as Eponine) [outside, interjecting]: He was never mine to lose you've got that right!

Eponine (as Cosette): A heart full of you Yeah, I really misjudged this song

Cosette (as Eponine): Why regret what could not be? Exactly

Enjolras (as Marius): A single look and then I knew. I misjudged it as well

Cosette (as Eponine): These are words he'll never say Well, as long as you know that

Eponine (as Cosette): I knew it too. A very nice song...

Cosette (as Eponine): Not to me... Oh, I'm almost feeling bad for her now

Enjolras (as Marius): From today... Quite nice actually

Cosette (as Eponine): Not to me... Oh, maybe someday

Eponine (as Cosette): Every day Quite

Cosette (as Eponine): Not for me... Oh, that's so pessimistic...

Eponine (as Cosette) & Enjolras (as Marius): For it isn't a dream I really like this song
Not a dream One of our new favorites
After all! Definitely!

Cosette (as Eponine): His heart full of love idiot...
He will never dense block of wood...
Feel this way... Oh, that's it, I'm setting you up on a date!

Eponine: I need a break!

Me: But-

Enjolras: She said she needed a break.

Me: Oh, don't you start.

Javert: Oh, that's so cute, Romeo is protecting his Juliet.

Enjolras: Javert...

Javert: Is there something you wanted?

Enjolras: How about to be left alone?

Javert: Not going to happen.

Eponine: So we can have a break?

Me: Fine, I don't want to incur the wrath of the golden statue

Eponine: Thank you Enjolras! You're my hero!

Enjolras: Ah, thank you, I guess.

Javert: Oh, The revolutionary and the street harlot sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g. First comes love, then comes a baby, and if he's a gentleman, then comes the wedding!

Enjolras: Javert, are you trying to imply something about out morals? Because I can assure you that-

Javert: Imply? I'm saying it outright!

Eponine: Oh, that's it! Come on Javert, you want to hit a girl?

Javert: I would never-

Eponine: Good, cause you'll never get the chance ::Enjolras only barely stops her arm before she punches Javert::

Enjolras: Eponine, he just wants attention, don't give it to him.

Eponine: But I want to punch him!

Enjolras: I know Ponine, we all do, but we have to learn to control our complete hate for him.

Eponine: Oh fine!

Enjolras: I know it's hard Ep, I know.

Eponine: One day Javert, one day!

Javert: Yes, one day more, whatever, I'm not afraid of you girl.

Eponine: I will not punch Javert, I will not punch Javert, I will not punch Javert...

Javert: Ah, they are the perfect pair, they both talk to themselves.

Enjolras: Will someone make him be quiet?!?!?!?!

Javert: Oh, losing your cool, that's not good.

Enjolras: Eponine, please repeat all of the things that I just said to you to keep you from punching Javert. I am really quite close to doing the same thing.

Eponine: I noticed. ::taking his arm:: Come on Enjolras, let's go somewhere quiet where we can talk.

Enjolras: That sounds very nice Eponine. If you will all excuse us...

Javert: Yes, run, run!

Enjolras: Running is better than jumping.

Valjean: Touch�!

Javert: Hey, he must have a comeback book too!

Me: That isn't quite the kind of thing that one finds in a comeback book

Javert: You never know...

Gavroche: I'm bored

Fantine: As are we all.

Me: Then get back to work!

Valjean: That's boring too.

Me: How?!

Valjean: We already lived this story, can we do a different musical?

Me: But Les Mis�rables is the greatest musical ever!

Valjean: Let's do Jekyll and Hyde, that's kind of interesting.

Fantine: Or Aida

Javert: Or Phantom of the Opera.

Eponine: Beauty and the Beast.

Grantaire: Scarlet Pimpernel!!!

Me: No, we will finish this musical!

Valjean: Slavedriver!

Javert: Yes? Oh, you weren't talking to me.

Gavroche: I'm tired. I mean, we've been working all day and ::yawn:: I need a-

Fantine: Oh, he needs a nap, that's so cute!

Gavroche: Not quite what Mother Goose said, but, I could use some sleep...

Grantaire: It is late

Javert: The law never sleeps!

Me: Do you expect me to put you all up for the night?

Valjean: It would be the gracious, hospitable thing to do...

Me: You're insane, where do you expect me to put all of you?

Valjean: You have a few extra beds...

Me: Exactly, a few, there are sooooo many of you!

Javert: Don't you have a tent or something?

Me: Well, of course, I have a few for camping, but-Oh, you're all insane!

Valjean: Well, let's see, you have four extra beds, plus two of those beds that blow up, and three cots. Three tents, eight sleeping bags-eight sleeping bags? Why do you need so many sleeping bags?

Me: To make forts, of course!

Enjolras: Forts? How about barricades?!

Me: Yeah, barricades too...

Valjean: Back on topic! Okay, eight sleeping bags, so that's a total of 17. Now, how many people do we have?

Javert: What am I, the census taker? Make a list.

Valjean: O...k... Me, Javert, Cosette, Marius, Eponine, Azelma, that's six. Enjolras, Grantaire, Combeferre, Courfeyrac, Feuilly, Bahorel, Bousset, Joly, Jehan, that makes the total 15. Okay, and Fantine of course, Gavroche, so, 17, isn't that everyone?

Thenardier: Ahem...

Valjean: Well, I don't really trust you to be anywhere near me when I'm sleeping.

Thenardier: Fine, we'll take the tents.

Valjean: So we're staying?

Me: I guess I have no other choice...

Valjean: Good! So, now where are all of these beds exactly?

Me: Well, the four beds are in one room, two sets of bunk beds. And we can put the cots, blow-up beds, and sleeping bags wherever there is room.

Enjolras: The women should definitely take the beds, it would be improper for them to sleep on the floor.

Eponine: That's so nice

Azelma: Little he knows...

Me: Okay, so Cosette, Eponine, Azelma and Fantine are in the beds, perfect fit.

Cosette: Oh, but, I mean, Marius!

Me: I don't think so! But the room is really big, so he can sleep on the floor, along with one other. There's also some room in the living room, but that's right by the bathroom and if anyone needs to use it you'll be waken up. There's the hallway, but people walk through there to get everywhere, so that's not good either. There's some room in my room, but I don't trust you guys. And the computer is in the den and I don't trust you guys with that either. So, I guess the basement is the only place, there's lots of room there, but there are ghosts and monsters down there so...

Enjolras: Ghosts? Well, I'm game.

Eponine: Um, I don't really need a bed. I mean, I'm used to not so comfortable sleeping arrangements and Valjean is old, and it just doesn't seem fair.

Valjean: No, it's better if you-

Eponine: Really, I'll just take a cot, um, in the basement...

Me: Ok...

Eponine: Then we're agreed!

Me: So, Marius, on an inflatable bed, will be in the guest room with his wife. Javert will be in there too. All of you students, plus Eponine, could be in the basement if you want.

Gavroche: Me too!

Me: And Gavroche. Javert, you should take a cot.

Valjean: Because he's really old too.

Javert: You're no spring chicken yourself

Me: So, my dear Amis, you have all the sleeping bags and one cot and one inflatable bed.

Grantaire: Enjolras, you should have the cot, we wouldn't want our statue to get dented.

Enjolras: But I'm Marius, remember?

Grantaire: Oh, it's late, just take the cot!

Enjolras: Fine. Who wants the inflatable bed?

Combeferre: I think we're all fine with sleeping bags

Joly: As long as they're insulated that is.

Gavroche: I want the inflatable bed!

Jehan: Then it's all yours

Gavroche: Yay! Sleepover!

Me: Okay, everyone get ready for bed!

You're going to have to imagine a large bathroom, with a shower, couple of sinks, etc.

Gavroche: I can't find my toothbrush!

Me: It's right here.

Gavroche: No, you don't get it, I can't find my toothbrush

Me: Gavroche, your dentist is not going to be pleased.

Gavroche: He'll survive.

Jehan: I can't find my pajamas!

Feuilly: Are these them?

Jehan: Do they have teddy bears and flowers all over them?

Feuilly: Yes...

Jehan: Then, that's them.

Feuilly: Okay...

Grantaire: Mine have little pink elephants on them.

Javert: That's great...

Courfeyrac: I wonder who's these are, red and black, hmm, it's a mystery

Grantaire: Yeah, I wonder

Enjolras: Just give me my pajamas.

Cosette: My nightgown has 'Little Princess' written on it

Marius: Aww, that's so cute darling!

Javert: Ha, Valjean, your pajamas have loaves of bread all over them!

Valjean: No they don't

Javert: Ha, made you look!

Valjean: Hey, at least my pajamas aren't covered with 'Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles'

Javert: Hey, they fight crime, give me a break!

Valjean: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, turtles on a half shell, turtle power!

Javert: Yeah? Well ::flips through comeback book:: Don't forget to clean your dentures overnight Valjean!

Cosette: Daddy, I can't find my overnight cosmetics.

Valjean: I forgot to brink them darling, I'm sorry. Oh please don't cry!

Marius: Don't worry sweeting, you look beautiful without it.

Cosette: Oh, thank you Marius.

Me: It's a good thing my parents and my brother aren't home, they would have quite a few questions about all my guests.

Combeferre: I wonder why

Eponine: I like your pajamas Enjolras.

Enjolras: Um, thank you. I like yours as well. I never knew that there were pajamas with Marius's face all over them.

Eponine: Ah, yeah, well, I've had them a while. At least mine doesn't have pictures of Cosette all over them like his does.

Enjolras: Yes...

Me: Are we all ready yet? I swear, this is taking forever

Valjean: Yeah we're ready, hold on.

Jehan: I can't find my slippers

Combeferre: Are they the ones that look like bunnies?

Jehan: Yeah!

Combeferre: Then here they are.

Jehan: Good, I need my bunnies.

Me: Okay, off to bed, unless you guys need me to sing you a lullaby or tuck you in.

Jehan: Well...

Me: It was a joke

Jehan: You could tell us a story

Me: You're college students!

Jehan: Come on, we're in a strange place

Grantaire: Not to mention the ghosts

Courfeyrac: And monsters.

Jehan: Ghosts?

Me: Leave Jehan alone! Here, I'll tell you a really short story

Jehan: Yay, short story time.

Me: Okay, this is called 'The Giving Tree' by Shel Silverstein. 'Once there was a tree...'

A few minutes later

Jehan: I like that story.

Javert: Didn't the little boy realize how selfish he was being?

Valjean: Aw, Javert was touched by the story.

Javert: No such thing, I was just asking a question so I can better comprehend the story.

Valjean: Uh huh, sure.

Me: Okay, now off to bed with you all!

Gavroche: Yeah, yeah, sure nana.

Me: Don't call me that

After they have all been settled into bed.

Gavroche: So, tell me everything there is to know about girls

Pipi: Oh, I want to know too!

Gavroche: Go away Pipi!

Pipi: Fine, you're mean.

Combeferre: Well, girls are very complicated sometimes

Courfeyrac: But once you figure them out it's easy to-

Eponine: Ahem, girl in the room.

Enjolras: Yes, please, keep the conversation decent.

Gavroche: Ponine, it's not our fault that you had to come down here.

Enjolras: Even if Eponine wasn't here I would insist we keep the conversation decent.

Grantaire: Ah, even after the kiss in the restaurant he's stuffy.

Enjolras: (just a teensy bit flustered) You saw that?

Grantaire: Everyone saw it

Enjolras: Oh...

Grantaire: Yep!

Enjolras: Oh...

Grantaire: Ah, barely blushing, you're getting over your embarrassment very quickly.

Eponine: He has nothing to be embarrassed about!

Enjolras: Exactly. I feel no embarrassment, maybe just a little bashful but never-

Me: Lights out!

Jehan: It's dark. Are there really ghosts down here?

Courfeyrac: Boo!

Jehan: Aaaahhh! Oh, it's just you. Stop that!

Enjolras: Leave Jehan alone and go to bed.

Grantaire: As long as you and Eponine don't push your cots together during the night.

Enjolras: Grantaire...

Grantaire: I'm just calling it as I see it.

Eponine: Oh, be quiet.