So, again, the cast of Les Mis�rables is assembled looking very unhappy, yet again�
Enjolras: I can�t believe you are making us do this again!
Marius: This is utterly ridiculous ::This is said while still nursing a bruise on his head::
Cosette: Oh Marius, does it still hurt?
Marius: Yes, it does. ::He casts a dirty look at Javert::
Javert: Hey, don�t look at me, I didn�t hit you.
Cosette: But it was your fault!
Javert: It is not my fault that your little husband ran into a wall
Marius: You were chasing me!
Javert: You were behaving like a four year old!
Marius: You�re mean!
Javert: Oh, get over it!
Me: Okay people, I guess you are wondering why I have forced all of you to be here today�
Eponine: Don�t make us act again, please!
Me: Sorry, no can do. I have brought you all together for a purpose.
Grantaire: Hey, wait, if I remember correctly from my drunken stupor, you guys left the show together�
Enjolras: Don�t start Grantaire�
Eponine: Not now
Enjolras: Not today
Grantaire: Ah, trouble in paradise it seems.
Me: Anyway, today, special offer for you, you are not going to be performing a musical
Enjolras: Huzzah!
Grantaire: Let�s go home then-
Me: Not quite that easy my friends�
Valjean: Uh oh, here it comes
Me: We are going to be performing a movie
Bahorel: So that means that those of us that were completely left out of the musical might actually get a part?
Me: It�s a possibility�
Azelma: Huzzah!
Me: Azelma? I didn�t even know you were here
Azelma: No one ever does.
Me: Anyway�
Javert: You were talking about a movie of some sort, let�s get on with this
Me: Yes, thank you Javert, you are ever so helpful
Marius: ::cou-Teacher�s pet-gh::
Javert: Do you want to start something?
Marius: What me? I just had a sore throat!
Javert: Oh, I�ll give you a sore throat ::Advances menacingly::
Me: People! Come on, you don�t even know what we are going to be performing yet!!!
Grantaire: So this is about the time that you�re supposed to tell us�
Me: Okay, we�re performing, drum roll please ::silence, only crickets can be heard:: Fine then, we are performing Ever After!
Javert: That stupid Cinderella ChickFlick?! ::gets dirty glare from Me:: I mean, oh, I cannot wait�
Me: Good, now that�s the spirit
Enjolras: Let�s just get on with this
Grantaire: Someone�s in a rush this morning. Now I have to wonder if is to get away with someone ::casts look at Eponine, who only glares:: or to get away from someone
Enjolras: Oh Grantaire, do you ever let up?
Grantaire: Never!
Me: Okay, now for the casting. We have two options here. One, we stay with the regular casting and do not make men into women and the such. This casting would be Eponine as Danielle, Cosette as Marguerite, Azelma as Jacqueline-
Azelma: Wait, I actually have a part? A speaking part?
Me: Yes, a speaking part indeed.
Azelma: Huzzah!!!
Me: Anyway, Enjolras as Prince Henry, Marius as-
Enjolras: Hold on one second! Did you just say Prince Henry? As in the Prince of France? You have got to be kidding me!
Javert: Oh this is too good.
Grantaire: Our revolutionary as the Prince of France? Oh this is rich, this is just perfect! Oh this is so-
Enjolras: Impossible! You are, you, I, Prince of France?!
Grantaire: Ah, glib as ever I see.
Me: I�m sorry, but it�s just the way the casting came out.
Javert: I cannot get over this
Enjolras: What is the other option?
Me: Well, that would involve you as Danielle�
Enjolras: Oh, I am not being a girl again!
Me: But then you can still have your beliefs about the people and try to change the monarch and-
Enjolras: be a girl!!!
Me: So you want option one?
Enjolras: The Prince of France? What did I do to deserve this? Couldn�t I just be the odd little fellow Danielle is friends with?
Me: I don�t think we can arrange that. Okay, so then the rest of the casting is Marius as Gustave
Marius: Oh, I hate these platonic relationship things
Cosette: Marius!
Marius: I meant that I want to be with you!
Grantaire: Sure he did
Me: Valjean as Leonardo da Vinci, Fantine as the Queen of France, Javert as the King of France
Javert: Ha! Now the boy will have to listen to me, I�ll be his father! Now I must uphold the law! Ha!
Enjolras: Oh, this seems like d�j� vu of my real life.
Javert: You are all my loyal subjects, ha, bow before your king!
Valjean: I don�t know if it was such a good idea to give Javert the power of a king.
Me: I�m starting to agree. Okay, and Grantaire as Laurent
Courfeyrac: The faithful friend and guardian, oh that�s rich
Me: And Mme. Thenardier as the Baroness
Valjean: Good casting
Me: And Montparnasse as Le Pieu
Eponine: Perfect casting on that part, Parnasse
Montparnasse: Oh, I actually get a part this time? Thanks
Me: I appreciate the sarcasm. And, is that everyone? ::checks list:: Everyone important at least
Feuilly: Thanks
Combeferre: It�s nice to know we are important
Courfeyrac: I feel special
Joly: I feel sick
Me: Okay we�ll start with the good part, so far we have met the very mean Baroness, and her two daughters the beautiful but stuck up Marguerite, and the nice little Jacqueline. Now remember Danielle�s mother is dead and her father died when she was eight. The baroness made her a servant in her own home. Now the scene starts with our own Prince of France ::Enter Enjolras:: climbing down the side of his castle and trying to run away.
Enjolras: Please, please reconsider your casting choice! I�ll be anyone, but not the prince of France
Me: How about the king?
Enjolras: Now you are just mocking me.
Javert: You can bet she is, for I am the king, Huzzah for me!
Me: Okay so Prince Henry has climbed down the side of his castle on a rope of sheets.
Enjolras: This story is already ridiculous!
Me: Just do it!
Enjolras: Yes, all right, now I climbed down the castle, now what?
Me: Well, get on your high horse and-
Enjolras: Excuse me?
Me: Get on your horse and run away, come on!
Enjolras: If you say so
Me: Okay, now Danielle you wake up by the fireplace in your rags and-
Eponine: Ah, rags, this reoccurring theme of my life
Enjolras: Javert can be the Prince, he would make such a good prince, he could do both parts, I�ll be over there-
Me: Come on Enjolras
Enjolras: Combeferre can do it
Me: Enjolras�
Enjolras: How about Feuilly?
Me: Come on, now Danielle is picking apples in the orchard and on her way back to the house she sees you, on her horse
Enjolras: Combeferre would make a fine prince
Me: Now ride by and Eponine, you throw an apple at Enjolras and hit him off the horse
Eponine: Love to, I like this part already!
Enjolras: Or Marius ::Eponine throws apple, hits Enjolras squarely in the head, he falls off the horse:: (Nursing his head)Well that was fun
Eponine: ::continues to throw apples:: Thief! This will teach you to steal my father�s horse
Thenardier: A horse? Sounds like we�ve got food for the week
Eponine and Azelma: Eww!
Enjolras: But my own has slipped it�s shoe, I had no choice or Bahorel!
Eponine: And our choice is what? To let you? ::Enjolras�s cape flips back over his head so that his face is visible. Eponine immediately drops into a bow:: Forgive me your highness I did not see you
Enjolras: (touching his hand to his head) Your aim would suggest otherwise How about Bossuet?
Eponine: And for this I know I must die
Enjolras: Death for hitting someone with an apple? Where is our liberty? I hate this role, you are doing this just to torture me! How about Joly, he could be the prince!
Me: Anyway, you give Eponine a bag of gold coins not to tell anyone about seeing him and he rides away. Next scene!
Enjolras: I hate this! I mean, even Grantaire would make a better prince than I would
Grantaire: Thanks
Me: Yes, we realize that you hate this and yes, you will be the prince!
Enjolras: What kind of sick, sadistic pleasure do you get from forcing us to do this?
Me: More than you realize. Okay people, so Danielle goes and she tells her servant friends that she is going to use the money to purchase back one of the servant�s husband. Marguerite makes fun of you and that�s about it for now. Now Enjolras on the other hand has met Valjean and saved the Mona Lisa from gypsy bandits
Javert: Not likely
Me: Javert! Anyway, the royal guard and his best friend and captain of the guard, Laurent, have caught Enjolras. They go back to the castle
Enjolras: Please do not make us do this movie!
Me: Hey, it�s not my fault you and Eponine had a spat and you are in a bad mood!
Enjolras: We did not have a spat!
Eponine: You left me there
Enjolras: You gave me no choice
Eponine: I did not mean to-
Enjolras: Oh, but you did
Eponine: I couldn�t help it
Enjolras: And I couldn�t help leaving
Grantaire: Now this is getting interesting�
Enjolras: Be quiet Grantaire!
Me: Even though I would love to hear the rest of this conversation, we are up to an important scene so�
Enjolras: Fine, let�s just get this over with
Me: Who let Mr. Sunshine out? Okay, so, Eponine has come to pay for the release of one of her servants, in the dress of a noblewoman, which is illegal and punishable by five days in the stocks.
Eponine: This man is my servant and I am here to pay the debt against him (etc.)
Me: Now the mean guard starts to yell at her but here comes our hero Henry now!
Enjolras: How dare you raise your voice to a lady!
Me: The mean boss tries to explain as does Eponine, who fears the Prince will recognize her as the servant who hit him, but he doesn�t. The mean man tells Henry that by order of the king these �convicts�
Valjean: What?
Me: are being taken to the coast etc.
Eponine: A servant is not a thief and those who are cannot help themselves
Enjolras: Really? Well then, enlighten us
Eponine: If you suffer your people to be ill educated and their manors corrupted from birth and then punish these individuals for the crimes that their first education disposed them, then what else is to be concluded, sire, than that you first make thieves and then punish them?
Enjolras: Exactly!
Me: Enjolras, that isn�t your line
Enjolras: What? Oh yes, my line! Release him
Me: So the prince pardons Maurice the servant and then tries to talk to Danielle, because he liked her spirit, but she is afraid that he will find she is a servant
Enjolras: Please, I beg of you a name any name, and not his!
Eponine: I fear the only name I can leave you with is Comtesse Nicole de Lancret I said I was sorry!
Me: But this is really Danielle�s mother�s name. Anyway, the queen comes out and Danielle takes the opportunity to flee. She goes back home for a joyful reunion of the servants. And Henry is yelled at by his father for trying to run away
Javert: Ah yes, I finally get to punish the boy
Enjolras: What fun...
Javert: I am in a foul disposition... ::Valjean stifles back laughter::
Grantaire: Break time!
Me: What? No, not break time, work time!
Grantaire: Break time!
Marius: Huzzah, break time!
Combeferre: Break time!
Azelma: Finally, break time!
Cosette: Huzzah!
Javert: Break time!
Valjean: Break time!
Joly: I feel sick
Me: Okay, fine, Break time!
All: Huzzah!
In the male dressing area
Grantaire: Enjolras, you need to tell someone about what happened with you and Eponine
Enjolras: Well, I think the last person I would ever tell is you
Grantaire: But you do have to tell someone, and I am your friend and confidant, at least in the movie
Enjolras: You wouldn�t understand
Grantaire: But I would listen
Enjolras: I guess that is something. Are you sober?
Grantaire: Sober enough
Enjolras: I guess I should tell someone
Grantaire: I�m listening
Meanwhile, in Eponine�s dressing room with Cosette and Azelma
Cosette: What is with you and Enjolras?
Eponine: Nothing
Azelma: Come on Ep, tell me
Cosette: It will make you feel better
Eponine: (to Cosette) Well, I can�t tell you
Cosette: Does it have to do with Marius?
Eponine: Perhaps
Cosette: I swear, you can tell me
Eponine: Swear not to judge or tell Marius?
Cosette: I swear
�����������������������������������������������������������
Eponine: We went out to eat at this nice restaurant, it was amazing
Enjolras: She seemed to be having a nice time
Eponine: He was being so great
Enjolras: I was really enjoying her company
Eponine: I ate snails
Enjolras: It was, I must admit, kind of cute the way she looked at the snails
Eponine: And they were good!
Enjolras: She was acting as if she had never been in a restaurant before
Eponine: We went for a walk around the city
Enjolras: Well, I, I took her hand in mine
Eponine: It was so romantic
Enjolras: It was dark and I did not want anything to happen to her
Eponine: I felt safe
Enjolras: I know the kind of people who are on the streets
Eponine: The lights looked so beautiful in the river
Enjolras: She looked so beautiful
Eponine: He said I looked beautiful
Enjolras: Well, she took her hand away from mine and began to run, taunting me playfully
Eponine: If he wanted me he would have to catch me
Enjolras: She had taken my necktie
Eponine: He looked so cute when he realized what I had done
Enjolras: Well I caught her
Eponine: He caught me
Enjolras: She can run quite fast you know
Eponine: He ran real fast
Enjolras: We were both laughing by that point
Eponine: His laugh is so comforting, I love it
Enjolras: It surprised me because I seldom do so
Eponine: I put the tie back around his neck
Enjolras: And her laugh is so beautiful
Eponine: But I had no idea how to tie it
Enjolras: I had to help her tie it though
Eponine: Well, he took my hand and showed me how
Enjolras: So she was able to tie it in the end
Eponine: Now I can tie one if there is ever need be
Enjolras: And I grabbed her hand, I don�t know what came over me
Eponine: He took my hand again
Enjolras: Well, I don�t know how
Eponine: Don�t ask me but
Enjolras: We wound up close
Eponine: I wanted him to kiss me
Enjolras: I wanted to kiss her, I am human you know! And there is nothing I can do with the revolution, I can�t do any of the things that I am used to, no speeches, or barricades. Frankly, I�m sick of it. It�s completely against my character but
Eponine: He leaned in and
Enjolras: I stopped
Eponine: He wouldn�t do it
Enjolras: We were in a public place, I did not want to besmirch her reputation
Eponine: And what was worse
Enjolras: Even though I did take her hand again
Eponine: When it was time to part company
Enjolras: I kissed her hand
Eponine: He kissed my hand! What is with them? The forehead, then the hand, do they not know what part of the body is made for kissing? What do they teach them in those schools?
Enjolras: She seemed disappointed
Eponine: I was extremely disappointed
Enjolras: I don�t know why
Eponine: Am I too hideous for Enjolras to even consider kissing?
Enjolras: She seemed sad too
Eponine: Did he take me out to dinner out of pity?
Enjolras: I really did want to kiss her
Eponine: I know he is chaste and everything
Enjolras: But I have principles
Eponine: That is one of the greatest, sweetest and cutest things about him
Enjolras: And I would not want to overstep the boundaries
Eponine: But I wanted him to kiss me!
Enjolras: But she looked so beautiful
Eponine: And he is the handsomest man I have ever seen!
Enjolras: I went back the next day
Eponine: He actually came back again
Enjolras: She seemed a bit surprised
Eponine: I never thought he would come back to see me again
Enjolras: I couldn�t stop thinking about her
Eponine: He wanted to take me out to dinner again
Enjolras: She seemed, I don�t know, skeptical.
Eponine: I was even more surprised now.
Enjolras: She said yes
Eponine: I was really happy
Enjolras: I was so relieved
Eponine: He looked as though he thought that I would reject him
Enjolras: I was afraid she still wanted Marius.
Eponine: He gave me some money
Enjolras: I asked her to purchase appropriate evening attire
Eponine: He told me to buy a dress
Enjolras: I would have bought it for her
Eponine: Imagine me, going into a store to buy, and these were his exact words, it was so cute �appropriate evening attire�
Enjolras: But I couldn�t very well go into a women�s clothing store
Eponine: I had never been in one of those fancy-pansy stores
Enjolras: I still have some dignity left.
Eponine: To tell you the truth I was looking forward to it
Enjolras: I remembered how beautiful she looked in the last play
Eponine: I wanted a dress like Cosette had
Enjolras: I went to her house
Eponine: And here was the big problem
Enjolras: She did look beautiful
Eponine: I was wearing the dress
Enjolras: I again took her hand
Eponine: He was always such a gentleman
Enjolras: And then she surprised me
Eponine: I mean, I gave him a quick peck on the cheek
Enjolras: I was flabbergasted
Eponine: He was even cuter when he was surprised
Enjolras: I, it was odd
Eponine: He put his hand to his cheek
Enjolras: But nice
Eponine: Like he really appreciated such a small token of gratitude
Enjolras: Surprisingly nice actually
Eponine: When he had done so much for me
Enjolras: I was actually happy
Eponine: We were both happier after that
Enjolras: I thought this signified that the night was going to go well
Eponine: I know I was
Enjolras: So we began walking again
Eponine: I thought that this night was going to be the best one of my life
Enjolras: And then it happened
Eponine: I can�t believe it
Enjolras: She said
Eponine: I called him
Enjolras: �I was looking forward to tonight,
Eponine: Marius!
Enjolras: She actually called me Marius!
Eponine: I couldn�t believe what I had just said
Enjolras: I couldn�t believe it
Eponine: He looked shocked
Enjolras: I was speechless
Eponine: I tried to apologize
Enjolras: She said she was sorry
Eponine: But he did not believe me
Enjolras: I knew she was still in love with Marius
Eponine: He looked hurt
Enjolras: She will always be in love with Marius
Eponine: I felt terrible
Enjolras: And I can never change that
Eponine: I wanted to cry
Enjolras: Never
Eponine: Seeing him like that
Enjolras: So it�s futile to try
Eponine: So he just left
Enjolras: I don�t know how but before I realized it I was home
Eponine: He didn�t even say good-bye
Enjolras: I just left her there
Eponine: I watched him go
Enjolras: It is for the better this way
Eponine: And then I did cry
Enjolras: Let her pine after Marius
Eponine: But not because I felt bad for him
Enjolras: But now I have nothing
Eponine: I cried because I had sent him away
Enjolras: No revolution
Eponine: The only person who I felt I could trust and care for
Enjolras: No barricade
Eponine: The only person who could ever care for me
Enjolras: No red
Eponine: And he was gone
Enjolras: Just black
�����������������������������������������������������������
Grantaire: Ah, that could explain it
Enjolras: I can�t believe I just bared my soul to you winecask
Grantaire: Do you feel better now?
Enjolras: No, now I have to worry about you keeping the secret
Grantaire:�
You have my word as a drunk
Azelma:
Oh dear, poor Enjolras
Cosette:
I can�t believe it
Eponine:
I thought that I was completely over Marius! I mean, Enjolras is so much more handsome and strong and passionate and did I mention gorgeous? Oh and that cute red vest, he is greater than Marius in everything! I mean, Marius is like a girl and Enjolras, oh Enjolras is a man! Besides, Marius is so-
Cosette:
We get the idea
Azelma:
What in the world possessed you to call him Marius?
Eponine:�
I guess that in all my dreams it was Marius who did such nice things for me. And then all my dreams were coming true and in my mind I just got confused�
Me:
Okay, people, next scene! Now Danielle is outside picking mushrooms and Henry is walking with Leonardo da Vinci talking about love. They meet and discuss politics and argue but Danielle has to go for fear that someone will find her there.
Javert:
This is so stupid, you have really bad taste in movies.
Me:
So sue me
Javert:
Fine, I�ll call me a lawyer, now where is that boy? Oh boy! I have a case for you!
Enjolras:
I don�t do that anymore
Javert:
Well, you need some way to make a living, a barricade doesn�t keep mouths fed. Being a lawyer does.
Me:
Oh help, something Javert said actually made sense, run away, hide, it�s a
sign of the apocalypse!
Javert:
Very funny, you just all know that I�m right is all!
Eponine:
::shivers:: Oh, I�m afraid
Enjolras:
Must we go into my life choices now?
Grantaire:
Yes, if he wants to be a drunken bum on the street, let him
Enjolras:
Oh, I�m sorry Grantaire, I didn�t know I was taking your job
Javert:
Meow!
Enjolras:
We are not going to getting into this again Javert, I have sworn to myself not to strangle you with my bare hands and I do not intend to break that vow, though I will if I must!
Javert:
I wasn�t afraid before and I am not afraid now, boy!
Enjolras:
Dix, neuf, huit, sept, six, cinq-
Javert:
Oh the boy can count, your parents must be so proud that you learned something in school.
Valjean:
You are such an antagonist Javert, just leave it be!
Javert:
Don�t talk to me like that. If you had taken your own advice and left that bread to be then we wouldn�t-
Valjean:
That was decades ago, elephants never forget do they?
Javert:
If you implying something about my weight monsieur�
Valjean:
Just give the kid a break, you are always on his back
Javert:
And your number is always on your chest, must we go into this?
Me:
Javert, do you want me to change your part to that of a girl? I�ll do it you know
Javert:
That�s blackmail!
Me:
So sue me-
Enjolras:
Oh no, that is how we got into this conversation in the first place!
Me:
You�re right, okay next scene! Well, actually, the next good scene. Henry goes to Danielle�s house when everyone else is away at church.
Eponine:
We need more breaks
Me:
No, we only have a limited amount of time
Eponine:
We have a limited amount of time? I thought you controlled us forever!
Me:
Oh that�s true, but I do have a life you know
Javert:
Really? Could have fooled us
Me:
Javert, I�m sure that Fantine�s costume would fit you
Fantine:
Yes, I�m sure it would Javert. Please, do try it on
Javert:
What, are you all in on this?
Fantine:
No it�s true Javert, with a few nips and tucks this dress could fit you�
Eponine:
I think you would look quite good in it
Javert:
Arrgh, you are all against me!
Valjean:
Well, maybe if you would stop antagonizing everyone else
Eponine:
And leave Enjy alone!
Enjolras:
Thank you Eponine, but I can fight my own battles�
Eponine:
(to Azelma, worried) Oh, he is mad, he didn�t even correct me about using his
name
Me:
Okay, costumes everyone!
10 minutes later
Grantaire:
64 bottles of beer on the wall, 64 bottles of beer. You take one down, pass it around, 63 bottles of beer on the wall! Everybody!
Feuilly:
63 bottles of beer on the wall.
Bahorel:
63 bottles of beer
Les
Amis: You take one down, pass it around-
Me:
This break was supposed to be to get into costume, not to get drunk!
Grantaire:
Oh, sorry, we didn�t know that
10 minutes later
Grantaire:
Negative 5 bottles of beer on the wall, negative 5 bottles of beer! Take one down, pass it around, negative 6 bottles of beer on the wall!
Enjolras:
This has got to be a new low winecask
Grantaire:
Oh, we�re not even close
Me:
Argh, you people! Twenty minutes and all you did was drink! I give up, I simply
give up!
Les
Amis: Huzzah!!!
Eponine:
Oh, I actually feel kind of bad
Fantine:
We drove her insane
Grantaire:
Someone get the straightjacket
Me:
No, no, I will not let you people beat me. I�m a stronger man by far, there is power in me yet-
Valjean:
My race is not yet ru-uuuun!
Me:
Exactly! Now let�s go! Henry, knock on the door
Bossuet:
Knock, knock
Grantaire:
Who�s there?
Me:
No! Henry, knock on the door!
Enjolras:
My name is not Henry.
Me:
Yes, I know, whatever! So Henry invites Danielle to the monastery
Eponine:
It is not fair your highness, you know my weakness but I do not know yours
Enjolras:
I would think it was quite obvious. ::Eponine blushes, or more truthfully she just pinches her cheeks::Captain Laurent, I will not be needing your services. Today I am simply Henry.
Me:
Okay, they take a carriage ride
Grantaire:
The two of them, alone in a small, enclosed area, if those walls could talk
Enjolras:
I doubt that will happen.
Eponine:
Listen Enjolras, I said I was sorry!
Enjolras:
I have no idea what you�re talking about
Eponine:
Come on, forgiveness is an important quality in a man.
Enjolras:
Well it is too bad that I cannot be the man that you obviously so desperately want.
Eponine:
I don�t want him!
Enjolras:
Anyway, the next scene is�
Me:
Oh yes, we�re in the monastery
Eponine:
I�ve never seen so many books in all my life
Enjolras:
Pick one
Eponine:
I could no sooner choose a favorite star in all the heavens
Enjolras:
What is it that fascinates you so?
Eponine:
I guess it is because when I was younger my father�(etc)
Me:
Okay, now the scene opens with Danielle and Henry in the forest and their carriage is broken. They could go back to the monastery but Danielle says�
Eponine:
Really your highness, where is your sense of adventure?
Enjolras:
I don�t know, why don�t you ask Marius? Oh, please forgive me everyone, I am in a foul mood�
Javert:
We noticed
Enjolras:
(biting his tongue to keep from lashing out at a certain police inspector) Well, if you put it that way�
Me:
Now we are in a different part of the forest
Enjolras:
Is this story going anywhere?
Me:
Well, you are supposed to be falling in love
Enjolras:
Why bother trying to do something so futile? Just a waste of time anyway
Me:
Okay, so Danielle is up a tree. In her undergarments
Enjolras:
Well, I must protest against that!
Me:
It�s in the script. Believe me, the undergarments are not scandalous
Enjolras:
Well, they obviously are if they are called �undergarments�
Me:
Then don�t look!
Enjolras:
You would think I would know the way to my own castle
Eponine:
Honestly, why is it that men never ask for directions?
Enjolras:
I still do not believe that I am down here while you are up there, and in your, um, ahem undergarments no less
Eponine:
Well I couldn�t very well climb up in my dress now could I? And you might break your royal neck and then where would you be?
Enjolras:
You swim alone, climb trees, rescue servants, is there anything you can�t do?
Eponine:
Fly. Now turn around, I am coming back down
Me:
Now this is the part where a gypsy punches you in the face Enjolras.
Bahorel:
Finally I get a part
Grantaire:
Well that�s fitting
Enjolras:
Bahorel punching me in the face? Well, I guess that is fitting on this glorious
day.
Me:
Well, he won�t really punch you, just trick photography�
Enjolras:
It doesn�t really matter
Eponine:
Stop sounding so despondent, I feel bad enough as it is!
Enjolras:
I�m sorry Eponine, I would never want to say anything to hurt you.
Eponine:
What do you want me to do? What? I�ll do it, just tell me!
Enjolras:
Just climb down your tree
Eponine:
No, I will not come down until you forgive me
Enjolras:
Well then you are going to be up there for a very long time
Eponine:
Please Enjolras, you were always such a gentleman and I know that you still are. I know that I�m a horrible person but you just have to forgive me, you just have to. I don�t think I can take it to have you hate me.
Enjolras:
I don�t hate you Eponine. Please, just come down from the tree.
Eponine:
Fine, I�ll come down. Let�s finish the scene.
Enjolras:
Fine. ::Bahorel �punches� Henry and a fight ensues:: Stay aloft madam, there are games afoot
Courfeyrac:
(as gypsy leader, picking up Danielle�s dress with his sword) My wife thanks you for this fine garment mademoiselle.
Eponine:
You will return my dress sir ::Enjolras punches out Bahorel, Eponine jumps on Courfeyrac. But Eponine is caught and a knife put to her throat::
Enjolras:
Let her go, your quarrel is with me ::They let Eponine go::
Eponine:
I demand that you return my dress and since you have deprived me of my escort I demand a horse as well.
Courfeyrac:
My lady, you may have anything you can carry
Eponine:
Do I have your word on that sir?
Courfeyrac:
On my honor as a gypsy, whatever you can carry ::Eponine goes to Enjolras to pick him up::
Enjolras:
Oh no, let me at least keep this shred of dignity
Me:
It�s in the script
Eponine:
I won�t drop you, I picked up Cosette in the last play
Enjolras:
That is not what I am worried about. But to think of a female picking me up, and in this costume!
Courfeyrac:
It is only for a moment
Me:
Please, we are getting so far in the movie. Please, oh please, oh please?!
Enjolras:
Can�t I have a body double or something?
Grantaire:
I�ll do it
Eponine:
Sorry Grantaire, I don�t know if I can pick you up
Me:
Besides, it is only for one scene!
Enjolras:
Oh, I know I am going to regret this�
::Eponine picks up Enjolras and carries him away, while the band of gypsies/students laugh)::
Eponine:
You weigh less than Cosette.
Enjolras:
Please, I cannot talk to you when you are carrying me around in your
undergarments. I may not have any dignity left, but I do have some sense of decency.
Eponine:
Oh please, it�s not like you haven�t seen all this before
Enjolras:
Actually�
Courfeyrac:
Come back, come back, I�ll give you a horse!
Eponine:
Don�t you ever get tired of being perfect?
Enjolras:
Do you ever get tired of Marius? ::Eponine puts him down::
Me:
Okay, now we�re in the gypsy camp and you both have a mug of ale and you are sitting around a fire playing �secrets� Henry, you lose
Eponine:
It is your turn, and it had better be good
Enjolras:
I have no desire to be king
Eponine:
But think of all the good you can do for your country, for the world.
Enjolras:
But to be so defined by you position, you have no idea
Eponine:
You might be surprised. A gypsy, for example, is never painted as anything else, but it is not who they are. They are defined by their title just as you are by yours. You have been born to privilege and with that comes specific obligations. I am sorry, it seems my mouth has run away with me again.
Enjolras:
No, my lady, it is your mouth that has me hypnotized.
Me:
(in a whisper) Now you are supposed to kiss
Enjolras:
I can�t do it.
Me:
You have to
Enjolras:
I can�t
Grantaire:
You have lips, she has lips. You obviously can do it.
Enjolras:
Grantaire�
Grantaire:
It�s true
Me:
Just do it!
Eponine:
If he doesn�t want to do it, he doesn�t have to do it.
Me:
Oh yes he does! It is one of the best parts of the entire movie!
Enjolras:
I won�t do it!
Me:
You have to do it!
Enjolras:
I won�t do it!
Me:
I insist that you do it!
Eponine:
No, I am too hideous, he can�t even bear the thought, look at him!
Enjolras:
Eponine-
Eponine:
No, admit it, you can�t stand the sight of me. You want someone more like Cosette, all peaches and cream.
Enjolras:
At least she would remember my name
Eponine:
I know your name! Enjolras, Enjolras, Enjolras, Enjolras!
Enjolras:
Eponine�
Eponine:
Enjolras, Enjolras, Enjolras, Enjolras, Enjol-
Enjolras:
Eponine�
Eponine:
Just admit it, admit that you are repulsed by me!
Enjolras:
Eponine-
Eponine:
Admit it!
Enjolras: I am not repulsed by you! I think you are one of the prettiest, sweetest, most refreshing people I have ever met and- ::He never got to finish his sentence because Eponine fairly launched herself at him::
Comments? Criticism? Because it only gets worse from here...
