Saturday, August 24th, 2002
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Remember that stuff I said about more entertainingly hilarious updates, back on Tuesday? Well, I lied. I seem to have been mercilessly assaulted by that son of a bitch we call "Writer's Block". However, I decided to at least give you people something to read, while I struggle for better writing material. So I decided to pick three random topics, and assembled them into a brief list for your reading pleasure.

1) I've recently had the opportunity to dive in amongst the internet-based Star Wars nerds, and participate in light saber battles courtesy of the computer game Jedi Knight II: Jedi Outcast. And you know what? It's fucking fun. But I would like to express my undying hatred for all of you god damn assholes who rely on the behind the back, instant kill stabbity-stab attack. Assholes.

2) Why is it that when I'm only 4 days from hitching a ride on not one, but two different airplanes for my trip to Oklahoma, I see nothing but stuff about airplane crashes on TV? I'm not afraid of flying or anything, but hell... I can only see obliterated corpses and smouldering wreckage on the Discovery Channel so many times, before I decide to buy a Schwinn and fucking peddle my way down there.

3) What the fuck is with Eminem? Lately, everywhere I look all I see is that cracker ass, trailer-raised hick turned ghetto superstar, spewing the same lyrics he's been wretching up for the past several years. Yes, you despise your ex-wife and secretly pray for sodomy at the hands of a burly, gay man. We know. Now go fucking die.

I suppose that's it for now. Consider this my last update until I get back from my trip. Not that you people care.

Tuesday, August 20th, 2002
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The few non-retarded individuals who follow this site may have noticed that it's been an entire week since my last update. I recently celebrated my 21st birthday, and by celebrated, I of course mean "wished I was with Jennifer, as opposed to up here in the frigid north". However, I've been able to escape from my dreary existance, via the ultra bad-ass-ness of the relatively new computer game Neverwinter Nights. Expect a review once I finish it, which should be some time after Hell freezes over. Content should be flowing freely again, pretty soon, so resume checking back here often. In the mean time, do your best to stop drooling on yourselves, and take note of the two new links at the bottom of this page. They lead to sites far superior to my own. Now go away.

Tuesday, August 13th, 2002
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As a sort of half-assed apology for that pathetically small, marginally unfunny update the other day, I've gone ahead and scraped up another article from the bottom of the "Barrel of Stupidity". Read it now, or just go die. It's up to you.

Friday, August 9th, 2002
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It's finally been completed. Before your dirty little internet porn-soaked eyeballs is an enhanced version of Liquid Fluff, my own personal soap box of obscene, mindless hilarity. Aside from the cosmetic upgrade, there are a few new sections to check out: Movies, Music, Banners, Archives (which really aren't new at all) and another version of my highly coveted profile. With this half-assed overhaul out of the way, you can once again go back to expecting new content every few days. Enjoy. That is an order.

Sunday, August 4th, 2002
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Well, I'm still alive. You can all stop holding your breath, praying to Allah, or doing whatever else it is you silly bastards do while you're waiting for me to update the site. Actually, keep doing all that stuff, because there's nothing new here this week. Just know that I'm once again revamping the site for maximum bad-ass-ness, and this time it won't take two months. Now go die.