“Hey, Levon! What do you want to be when you get big?”    
     “I am big,” I said to Dewalt. Sometimes I can’t tell if he has gravel for brains or if he’s just being funny. “I’m an ant, Dewalt. Ants are small by nature, you know. Elephants are big, Dewalt. They’re huge. But here’s the good news: since we’re so small we can survive on a crumb from a tuna sandwich for weeks. I’d like to see an elephant do that.”
     “Levon, you’re so smart,” Dewalt said to me. “How’d you get to be so doggone smart, uh?”
     I looked at my young friend and rolled several of my compound eyes.
     “I once spent two weeks eating a bean burrito that was left on top of an open encyclopedia. Oh, Dewalt, the things I learned.”
     “Do you ever think I’ll be as smart as you, Levon?”
     “Well, I don’t know, Dewalt, but stick with me and I’ll do my best to take care of you, ok?”
     It was a hot summer afternoon and Dewalt and I were supposed to be on seed patrol. Now, on seed patrol you’re supposed to crawl around and look for seeds. Whoopie. Who wants to eat seed when you can find much better stuff on a summer sidewalk? Ice cream cones, chewing gum, tacos — even a popsicle stick has food on it. Believe it or not an ant can live for an entire summer on the leftover juice from a popsicle stick. Honest. Not that we’d have to. But my point is simple: why bother with seeds when there is so much more to life — all over the sidewalks.
     “Levon, aren’t we supposed to be on seed patrol?” Dewalt asked.
     “We are on seed patrol,” I sighed. After going through all this in my mind, I wasn’t in the mood to explain it to Dewalt again.
     “But we’re not going to find many seeds here on this sidewalk, Levon,” he said.
     “Oh, I wouldn’t worry about it, my friend,” I said. “To be honest with you, it doesn’t much matter what we do, does it? The important thing is to go to work each day. We have so much food in reserve at the ant hill. Still, the Queen says Get out of bed! Get to work! Do this! Do that! Quick now, find some worthless seeds. Be a good little ant and go on your way. Well, I’m sick of it, Dewalt. You hear me? I’m sick and tired of it all.”
     “You know, Levon, it sounds like you’re showing disrespect to our Queen and that is forbidden. You know that. Are you showing disrespect to our Queen? Are you? Huh? Hun?”
     “Heaven’s no, my friend,” I said. “I wouldn’t do that.. Not our dear, lovely, old queen. Gracious no. Not me. She’s top of the line for me, Dewalt. Oh, brother. Listen, let’s get out of the sun and leave this food gathering business to the professionals.”
     Dewalt looked at me with those big, serious eyes, antenna rubbing together, and said, “You mean, abandon our duties? Is that what you mean, Levon?”
     “Oh, no, no,” I said, quickly deciding that Dewalt was a complete idiot. “I mean, let’s just take a little break. No, I wouldn’t want to miss a minute of seed patrol, Dewalt. No, not a minute. But look, let’s just follow that sidewalk, shall we?”
     “What’s that sign say, Levon?”
     “Oh, that one? Don’t worry yourself about that,” I said.
     “I know the letters,” Dewalt said. “I know that funny letter. That’s a zed. And the other two letters are O's. Did you know that? What does that spell, Levon?”
     “Chatter, chatter, chatter,” I said. “Never a dull moment with you, Dewalt.”
     “Now where are we going? What’s this building, Levon?”
     I know I shouldn’t have. I really know I shouldn’t have done this but I couldn’t help myself. After all, Dewalt wasn’t a bad fellow. He just got on my nerves after awhile and I didn’t know what else to do. So I decided to show him the sights — at the zoo.
     “What kind of animal is that, Levon? It sure has a big snout and a long, sticky tongue.”
     “Don’t you want to get a better view?” I asked. “That’s it, my friend. Get right up there and say hello to this fellow. Isn’t he interesting?”
     Just that quick, a long thin tongue whipped out and snatched up poor, old Dewalt.
     “Ah, yes,” I said. “The ant eater. Hungry fellow, isn’t he? Oh well, too bad for Dewalt. Now then, where was I? Oh yes, taking a little break from seed patrol.”
     I hadn’t made it out of the zoo before I heard something behind me.
     “Levon! There you are. Say, that was close. Did you know that creature was an ant eater? Did you? Did you? He almost ate me.”
     “Oh. Thank Heavens you’re all right,” I said. “I was so worried.”
     “Well, you have nothing to worry about because I got away, no problem. It was close, though. Very close. You bet I hurried out of there mighty quick like. I’m afraid I might have left the door open. Would that be a bad thing, Levon? Do you think it would be a bad thing if that old ant eater got away.”
     I barely had time to look over my shoulder before I saw that lumbering oaf coming down the sidewalk, sticky tongue at the ready. Yuck.
     “Seed Patrol?! Run for your lives!” I shouted.
     Dewalt and I took off running down the sidewalk.
     “This isn’t a good thing, Levon. Is this a good thing? I don’t think this is a good thing, if you know what I mean.”