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A BONNET OF BEAUTY
By
Rick Brown
Lorinda
Q. Chicken was so pleased with her new bonnet when it came in the mail.
Carefully she opened the box. Carefully she took out the bonnet and
placed it on her head; purple, blue and pink ribbons tumbled about the
beautiful hat.
No, this was more than a hat. A hat was
something you put on your head to keep warm. This was a bonnet! This
was something the other chickens would cluck about for weeks. Now she
was ready for Easter.
Lorinda took another long look in the
mirror, cocked the bonnet to one side, slid it back on her head just a
tiny bit and then changed her mind completely and readjusted it until
it was perfectly centered on her head.
Now she was ready.
“Stunning,” she said out loud to no one, turned and strutted out of the henhouse.
Oh, it was a marvelous day at the farm. The air was crisp and cool, the
flowers were blooming along the fence and everything was right on this
Easter morning. Spring was here! The long, cold nights of winter were
forgotten and Lorinda the Chicken had a beautiful, one of a kind bonnet
that came directly from the J. C. Nickle Company in Chicago via mail
order.
And then Lorinda saw it. Lorinda Q. Chicken saw
something that took her breath away in a most unpleasant manner. Also
strutting about as if she owned the world was Arlene W. Chicken and
perched upon her head was the very same – the absolutely, picture
perfect, totally identical, purple, blue and pink tumbled down ribbon
bonnet that Lorinda was wearing.
“Oh, no!” Lorinda Q. Chicken
wailed. “That rumpled feathered old bird has a bonnet just like
mine! How can that be.”
At that very same moment, Arlene W. Chicken spied Lorinda’s hat.
“What does she think she’s doing?” Arlene clucked. “That’s the same
bonnet I have. She’s trying to ruin my Easter. Well, I won’t stand for
that.”
Arlene quickly looked about the chicken yard for
something she could add to her hat – anything that would make it
different from Lorinda’s. What could it be? Why, of course. This was a
place with lots and lots of chickens and of course, now and then, an
odd feather would fall out and that would be just the perfect thing to
make her bonnet different from that old feather duster, Lorinda. Arlene
found a feather and stuck it in her bonnet. There, that was much better.
“Why didn’t I think of that in the first place?” Arlene asked herself.
When she looked up, Arlene cocked her chin and
— what? Lorinda had also stuck a feather in her bonnet! This was
outrageous!
Well, as soon as Lorinda Q. Chicken saw what
Arlene had done, she was so angry she could hardly see straight.
“Of all the nerve!” Lorinda sputtered. “Not only has she copied my hat,
she’s stuck a feather in it just like me. Why, oh why, can’t that dim
witted old bird brain do something original like me? She’s a sorry
excuse for a chicken, if you ask me. Well, let’s see her top this!”
And Lorinda went searching for something else to add to her hat. When
she came upon a small twig, she added that to her bonnet, too.
At the very same time, Arlene found something else to add to her hat.
It was a delicate, beautiful TWIG! Now they both had a feather and a
twig and they both looked at each other and they both were angry as
bulls with bonnets.
“Oh yeah?” Arlene demanded.
“Says who?” Lorinda squawked.
“Stop copying me right now, you skinny legged chicken,” Arlene yelled.
“Copying you? That’s about the last thing in the world I’d do. Try
thinking of something original for a change, you beady-eyed
feather-brained chicken,” Lorinda shouted.
And it got worse
from there. Each time one of the hens stuck something in her bonnet,
she found that the other one had done just the same. Bits of wire, a
toothpick, leaves, a wrapper from a stick of bubble gum, a broken paper
clip, a couple more twigs and so on and so on and so on until their
bonnets were so heavy and so filled with junk that they could barely
hold up their heads.
[SOUND: chickens laughing] That’s when
they heard the sounds coming from the other chickens on the farm. The
other chickens were looking at them and laughing so hard they could
barely breathe.
“What is so funny?” Arlene demanded.
“Please let us in on your little joke,” Lorinda said.
“Oh, no, no,” one of the chickens said between spasms of laughter.
“Keep it up. This is the funniest thing I’ve seen all year.”
“Your bonnets . . .” another one
gasped. “Your bonnets are beautiful . . . charming . . .
delightful . . . “
“If you want to know the truth,” a third chicken said, “you look
ridiculous with those silly bonnets on your heads. Sure, a little
ribbon is nice that . . . that looks so stupid.”
“Oh, don’t
spoil the fun,” the first chicken said. “Let them go on a bit longer. I
like to see them argue and squabble. Arlene, you need a few more things
stuck in your hat. How about a pencil or something really . . . really
attractive!”
Arlene W. Chicken and Lorinda Q. Chicken stuck their beaks up in the air, turned and walked away.
“They’re jealous, Arlene,” Lorinda whispered.
“Oh, yes, I agree. That’s all
there is to it. They know they can never have an Easter Bonnet as
splendid as ours, right?”
“Perfectly right,” Arlene answered. “One hundred percent perfectly
right. And I think your bonnet is outstanding, one of a kind, unique .
. .”
“And I think your bonnet is mesmerizing, youthful, clever . . .”
“Do you?” Arlene asked.
“Yes, of course I do,” Lorinda insisted.
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