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CANDY HEARTS
By
Rick Brown
"Oh no!" Mr. Weasel cried. "I've done it again!"
As the underground den of the Weasel family filled
with the smell of burning food, Mrs. Weasel walked into the kitchen.
"What's wrong, dear?" she asked.
"Oh, nothing!" he said "Do mean besides what's
burning in the oven?"
"Well, it doesn't smell that bad to me."
Mrs. Weasel was always kind when it came to her
husband's cooking. If he was a terrible cook, Mrs. Weasel was even worse.
The animals of the forest wondered how the Weasel family ever got anything
to eat.
The young ones of the family, Wilbert, Wendy, Winston,
Whitney and Warren Weasel were used to this. If something could be cooked,
either their mother or their father had, at sometime, cooked it beyond recognition
into a black, smoldering heap in the oven.
"Well, shall we eat?" asked Mr. Weasel.
"Hey, Dad?" Wilbert Weasel asked. "What smells
so awful?"
"Dinner!" he said. "I hope you're hungry."
Believe it or not, none of the Weasel youngsters
were hungry for the burnt rodent loaf and sautéed whisker pie still
smoking in the oven.
"Dad," Wendy Weasel said, "I don't think we can
eat that. It looks like it's still on fire."
"Well," Mr. Weasel sighed, "it will probably burn
itself out in a little while, but I'm afraid you're right. Another kitchen
failure. My, my, my. But I can't be the worst cook in the world."
"No," Winston Weasel said under his breath, "that's
mom."
"Well, there's nothing else to be done," said Mrs.
Weasel, "other than going out to dinner. Shall we go to the Egg Shack, that
barbecue trout rib place over by the waterfall or maybe we could try the
vegetarian cafe, "Seeds And Stems" in the meadow?"
"You're forgetting," Mr. Weasel said, "that it's
Valentine's Day. We're going to have a tough time finding a place that's
open on this day."
Saint Valentine's Day in the forest was taken very
seriously by all the animals. It was a day for them to think about love and
to remind those they loved about their love. And a day for chocolate and
candy.
"Well, I hadn't forgotten about Valentine's Day,"
Mrs. Weasel said, "but it had slipped my mind about all the restaurants in
the forest being closed. That might present a bit of a problem."
"No matter," Mr. Weasel said. "We will find something
to eat. Now, coats and mittens on everybody and let's hit the trail! We're
going to find something to eat if it's the last thing we do."
Those final words were of little comfort to the
youngsters of the Weasel family who felt that each meal might be the last
thing they do. Cooking aside, their parents were actually quite good. But
cooking was a rather important issue to these young weasels.
Whitney Weasel looked at her other brothers and
her sister and said, "If everything is closed out there and dinner is still
smoking, what are we going to eat?"
Out in the frosty February air, the Weasel family
trudged across the frozen snow which crunched under their feet. Mr. Weasel
wasn't quite sure what he was going to do because the restaurants, all being
closed, were not an option.
"Here's an idea," he said when the family came
to the home of the squirrel family. [SOUND: knocking on door] "Pardon me.
Anyone home?"
Presently Mr. Squirrel answered the door.
"What is it, Weasel family?" he asked. "Don't you
folks know it's Valentine's Day?"
"Well, yes, we do," Mr. Weasel replied. "And we've
come to wish you a very merry and happy Saint Valentine's Day. What do you
think of that?"
"Charming," the squirrel said. "Anything else?"
"Now hold on just a minute here, Squirrel," Mr.
Weasel said. "We hate to bother you on this cold winter day, but aren't you
forgetting something?"
"What do you mean?"
"What do I mean, he asks!" Mr. Weasel shot an astonished
look at his family. "What do I mean?! Well, doesn't that beat it all. They
come to this forest and they pretend not to know any of the rules of the
forest. They pretend not to have any idea what I'm talking about and what
you're supposed to do when a neighbor takes the time to visit you on Valentine's
Day! What, pray tell, do you do when carolers come calling at Christmas time?"
"Well, I suppose . . ." Mr. Squirrel began fumbling
for the words, ". . . I suppose you give them something. Perhaps a hot drink."
"Well, there you have it, my good Mr. Squirrel,"
Mr. Weasel said. "Give, give, give. We stopped by to visit and now you do
what?"
"I give you something?"
"Right! That's it. Valentine's Day, old chum. Look
at the calendar for a change. Wake up, smell the coffee. Get out of bed!
Rise and shine. You give us some food."
"Food?"
"We've already wished you a happy or merry Valentine's
Day. What more do you want?" asked Mr. Weasel.
"Oh, I don't know," Mr. Squirrel said. "To be left
alone?"
"We will, we will. But first the food. Gracious
these rodents are slow around here."
"Well, all I've got is a bowl of candy hearts.
I mean, I don't keep much around here this time of the year. I was hibernating,
you know. I doubt I'll be able to get back to sleep for three weeks. I might
as well get up early for spring. Here, take the bowl."
Mr. Weasel snatched the whole bowl and lead his
family away from the home of Mr. Squirrel.
"All right my darlings," he said. "Eat up. Candy
hearts for everyone."
"Is this our dinner?" asked Warren Weasel.
"Well, yes it is," Mrs. Weasel said. "But be thankful.
At least it's not burned."
"We're all thankful," the youngsters said, "about
that."
"Now listen," Mr. Weasel said. "This is just a
snack. Next time we've got to do a little better. Next time we're going to
tell them Happy Halloween or something like that. Got it?"
It wasn't long before they came to the house of
the bear family. [SOUND: knocking on door]
"Hello!" Mr. Weasel called. "Hello? Anybody about?"
In a few minutes, Mr. Bear appeared at the door
and blinked several times.
"What is it?" he asked.
"Trick or treat!" Mr. Weasel said. "Yes, trick
or treat and have a wonderful Halloween!"
"Really?" the big bear asked with a yawn. "Only
Halloween? I've been hibernating but I was sure it was later than that. More
like Valentine's Day, I thought. Good," the bear rummaged around until he
found some old Halloween candy. "Here's a little something for you. Nice
costumes. Now, I'm going back to bed for another five months. I could swear
it was later than October, but what do I know?"
The bear disappeared back into his house before
Mr. Weasel could explain what was really going on.
"I liked the candy hearts better," Wilbert Weasel
said. "This stuff is old and stale."
"Yes dears," Mrs. Weasel said. "But at least it
isn't burned."
Well, this story took place years ago and thankfully
Mr. and Mrs. Weasel are much better cooks these days. Their youngsters are
all grown up now, but when they come home to visit, they often sit around
and tell this story while they enjoy those delicious candy hearts. It was
a Valentine story they all remembered for their whole lives.
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