This Week's Story

Broadcast: August 24, 2003

JACK AND THE MAGIC HAMMER

    Jack lived way back in the mountains with his grandmother and just about everybody knew that Jack was as lazy as a tom cat on a hot summer day. He’d rather spend his time day dreaming on the front porch.
    But on this day his Grandmother said to Jack, "See here, Jack! Git yore self up and fix that fence out in the pasture. Them cows got out again last night."
    "Aw, I wish I could, Granny," Jack said, "but I’m awful busy today. Me and Pooch are gonna be counting clouds this afternoon. Maybe I can help you tomorrow."
    "See here, Jack! You are the laziest boy I’ve ever seen. Now git yore self up and fix that fence before I give you a lickin’!"
    Jack got up off the front porch of their little cabin and stretched his bones, scritch-scratched his back because it itched and then said, "Well, since you put it that way. Come on, Pooch."
    Jack’s dog opened one eye, swatted at a few flies and then licked his chops before settling back down.
    "Pooch! If I’ve got to get to work, so do you!"
    So the two of them set off to the barn to get a hammer and some nails.
    Now, Pooch was no ordinary dog. True, he was even lazier than Jack but that dog was pretty darn special. He could conjure up a magic spell if needed and if he felt like it. On this day, Jack made the mistake of asking.
    "You know, Pooch," Jack said as they walked through the tall, swaying grass towards the pasture, "if’n I had a magic hammer, we’d get this job done in no time. Know what I mean. I just need a magic hammer that will pound in the nails while I settle back in the grass for a mid-morning nap.
    Now Pooch thought that sounded good, too. He did a little magic as they walked along and all of the sudden, that hammer in Jack’s hand felt a little strange. It felt like it was as light as a feather. It felt as if it was getting ready to dance all over the place and it felt like there was nothing Jack could do to control that hammer.
    Sure enough, that hammer jumped right out of Jack’s hands and started bouncing all over the place. That hammer started pounding nails right into the fence and it didn’t take but a few minutes and that fence was as good as new.
    "Well, look at that Pooch!" Jack cried. "We’ve got ourselves a magic hammer and that fence is all mended. I didn’t have to do a lick of work on the whole thing. Ain’t that great? Let’s see what else needs fixin’ around here. We might as well take care of a lot of work right now and git it done with. That way Granny won’t be bothering us for a long time."
    Old Pooch rolled his eyes and settle back in the grass to snooze away the morning. By now, Jack was excited. This hammer could make his life a lot easier. Heck, he could even hire himself out as a carpenter and do handy-work for others in the mountains. Jack started thinking about all the money he could make and all the things he could buy with that money.
    "Come on, hammer," Jack said, "let’s go fix up Granny’s house for her."
    This time Jack ran through the grass all the way back to his Granny’s house, the hammer still dancing in his hands. No sooner had he gotten to the house than the hammer started going to work. It jumped out of his hands just like magic, since it was magic anyway, and began pounding nails into the house. In a jiffy, the front porch was looking great. All the little nail heads that had been sticking out were now pounded in, the loose boards were repaired and the magic hammer even fixed the front step with a few quick strokes, pulling nails here and pounding others there.
    But the hammer wasn’t done yet. Next it started on the roof, magically putting nails in all the loose shingles. Jack just stood back with a huge grin on his face and let the hammer do the work. This was great. Granny was going to be so surprised and so please when she returned from the market this afternoon.
    After the hammer was finished with the roof, it started working on the doors and windows. The magic hammer started nailing shut each door and then each window.
    "Now hold on a minute, magic hammer!" Jack shouted. "Stop that! Stop nailing them windows shut. No! No! No, magic hammer!"
But it did no good. The hammer did not stop pounding. As soon as it finished with the house, the magic hammer flew over to the barn and began pounding there. At first it fixed all the loose boards, but as Jack watched helplessly, it began nailing closed the big barn door.
In a panic, Jack ran out to the pasture to get old Pooch. He had to put a stop to this before every door and window in the whole place was closed up tight.
    "Pooch! Pooch!" Jack yelled as he sprinted to the dog, asleep in the grass. "Git yer lazy bones to the house. That dad-blamed hammer of yours is wreckin’ the place!"
    Now, old Pooch was not a quick dog. By the time he slaundered to the house, most of the damage had already been done. The house, the barn, the chick coop and all the out buildings were nailed up tight. Even the laundry from the clothesline was nailed to the side of the barn.
    The dog did a little magic with his tail and immediately the hammer dropped lifelessly to the grass.
    "Oh, no," Jack wailed. "Look at this mess! What am I going to do? I’ve got to get these nails pulled out before Granny gets back home. And the laundry! Look at the laundry nailed to the side of the barn. What am I going to do?"
    Jack looked over at old Pooch and the dog shot back a quizzical look.
    "Naw, I don’t think so," Jack said. "I’ve had all the help I need from you for one day."
    The dog shrugged and settled back on the porch to sleep away the afternoon.
    Jack, on the other hand, had plenty to do all day long. He carefully pried out each nail, except for the ones that actually did some good, and tried as best he could do get the house, the barn, the chicken coop and everything else back to normal. It was a lot of work but Jack didn’t want his Granny to see the mess he had made.
    Finally, just as the sun was setting over the mountains, Jack finished with the work. A few minutes later, his Granny came trudging up the path towards the house. "See here, Jack," she said. "Did you get the work done on the fence out in the pasture?"
    "Yes, ma’am," Jack said.
    "And I fixed this step, too."
    "Well, sure enough, you did," his grandmother said. "I guess you’re not as lazy as I thought, Jack."
    Jack settled back on the porch and decided tomorrow he would take the day off, as a reward. Old Pooch slept on the front porch, too, dreaming of a magic saw.

The End