Germs
Teacher: What r the people of Turkey called?
Student: I don't know.
Teacher: They r called Turks, now What r the people of Germany called?
Student: They r called Germs.
Clever
Teacher : Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?
Pupil: Moon...
Teacher : Why?
Pupil : The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the
day time when we don't need it.  
Fruits
Sajid asks Usman name three fruits?
He replies :1 Mango 2 Apple.
2 Pagal
Pehla Pagal : Ager tum batao kay is Box mein kia hai tu ye anday tumharay aur ager tum ye
bata du kay ye kitnay anday hain tu 5 kay 5 tumharay aur ager tum ye bata dogay ye kis kay
anday hain tu wo morgi bhi tumhari.
Dosra Pagal : Yaar koi hint tu du.
Hotel Ka Khana
Customer : Bhai kab se wait ker raha hoon khana abhi tak tayyar nahi howa?
Hotel Wala : Sir kahana tu 3 din pehlay se tayyar hai bas gharam ho raha hai.
Computer Relted Phylosphy
jo sadiyaon se hota aaya hai
woh repeat kar doonga
tu naa mili to tujhko dil sey
Ctrl+Alt+delete kar doonga

company kee ladkiyaan sunder hain
aur lonely hain
problem ye hai ki bus voh
read only hain

shayad mere pyar ko taste
karna bhool gaye
dil sey aisa cut kiya
ke paste karna bhool gaye


tumhare samne hain itney item
kabhi hamein bhi pick karo
hamare pyar ke icon pe
kabhi to tum double click karo

roz subha hum karte hai
itne pyar se unhe good morning
woh humhe ghoor kar dekhte hain
jaise 0 error but 5 warning

1 man was travelling in train with 3 kids a women was sitting with him . women says to man r
these ur kids ? he said nooooo ! im a condom seller and these are customer,s complaints

1 Egyptian guy Said To her Girlfriend Come Behind the Pyramids And I will Make U A Mummy.


woh samajhte hain dil tod diya
to hum dead hain
woh nahin jaante ki is dil main
aur kitne thread hain

~! Merey MSN Ki Window Main !~
Ek Chand Sa Buddy Chat Karta Hai
Afsos Yeh Hai Ke Woh Hum Se
Kuch Away Away Sa Rehta Hai,
Merey MSN Ki Window Main
Ek Chand Sa Buddy Chat Karta Hai,
Jis Roz Se Add Kiya Hai Uss Ko
Hum Doosron Se Chat Karna Bhool Gaye,
Mouse Thaam Ke Aisey Bethey Hain
Click Karna Hum Bhool Gaye
Aaj Tak Buddy List Main
Woh Chanchal Buddy Away Rehta Hai
Merey MSN Kee Window Main
Ek Chand Sa Buddy Chat Karta Hai,
Raat Bhi Aakey Chalee Gayee
Friend Bhee Logout Ho Gaaye.
Par Uss Ke Aik Message Ko Hum
Aay Husan Ke Maalik Taras Gaye.
Kab Piyaas Bhujay Gee Meri Chatting Ki
Din Raat Yeh Dukhra Rehta Hai
Merey MSN Kee Window Main
Ek Chand Sa Buddy Chat Karta Hai..m
Clinton in Bollywood
Clinton arrives in Mumbai and he gets so impressed by Bollywood. He wants to be
in Hindi movies and he starts dreaming..
Bill was in the Oval office and he started singing "Yeh Bill Na hota bechara,
kadam na hote awara.."
At that moment, Lewinsky, who was passing by, heard it and responded "Bill, Dhak
dhak karne laga, mora jiyorra darne laga", And Bill, brimming with thrill,
rushed and opened the door and realized he is the President of the USA.
So he paused and looked at her like Ajay Devgan from PTHHT. But Monica could
hear Kumar Sanu's song, and said, "Dil-Bill, Pyar Wyar, Main kya janoo re"
He gazed into her eyes like Bobby Deol in Kareeb and sang "Chori Chori jab
nazzare mili, chori chori jab Bill ne kaha, chori mein bhi hai mazaa!"
Then he pulled her into his office and thought of Aamir Khan in Ghulam -"Aankhon
se tune ye kya keh diya, Bill ye diwana machalne laga.." Monica picked up the
cue and replied like Rani Mukherjee - "yeh kya hua, pehle to aisa hota na
tha..."
Bill then closed the door with a mischievious smile and sang "Hum tum ek kamre
mein band hon aur chaabi kho jaaye..." The rest is history. The poor security
guards outside could only hear the full throated song from Dil Se, "Bill se,
Bill se Bill se, Bill to aakhir bill hain na..."
Monica met her best friend Linda Tripp and confessed about her affair - "Mera
Bill bhi kitna pagal hai, pyar jo mujhse karta hai.." Tripp recorded Monica's
confessions and went to legal eagle Kenneth Starr with her cassette and screamed
"Le gayee Bill, Lewinsky..paagal mujhe kar diya". Starr called Clinton and asked
"Yeh kya hua, kaise hua kab hua..." But Bill cleverly interrupted and said "Oh
chhodo, ye na poocho.." But Starr persisted and sang "Jhoot bole kowaa kaate.."
Now Bill was very angry with Monica and called her up.
Bill: Aye, kya bolti tu?
Monica: Aye, Kya main boloon..?
Bill: Sun
Monica: Suna
Bill: Kyon kiya ghotala?
Monica: Kya karoon, ho gayi thi kantala
Finally Clinton decided to tell Starr all, "Bill kya kare jab kisi se kisi ko
pyaar ho jaye..."., to which Starr had a ready reply, "Aye Bill hai mushkil
jeena yahan, jara bach ke, jara hat ke, yeh hai White House meri Jaan!"
Cut...Cut...Cut...!!
Best Love Story Ever
A true, touching love story that happened in the NWFP(border) areas.
The headman of a big tribe had a beautiful daughter, who fell in love with a boywho was an
ordinary poor person. When the people of the tribe came to knowabout their love, they did
not like it at all, and so began to protest about it. Now it happened that the two lovers left
their homes for a happy future.

The people of the tribe started searching for the two lovers but they could not find them. At
last, they accepted their love and asked them in a newspaper to come back. The people said
that if u both come back we will marry u, we accept that u loved each other truly. So in this
way their love won and the age old attitude of the tribe took a beating. The couple went to
the city for shopping for the wedding.

He was wearing a white traditional dress, and was crossing the road when a car came and hit
him and he died on the spot.

The girl lost her senses.
After a long time she recovered and accepted that her love has died.

One night she was sleeping in her home with her family. Her mother had dream in which she
saw a fairy. That fairy asked her mother to wash the blood spots of the guy from her
daughter's clothes as soon as possible. But her mother ignored the dream. Next night the
father saw the same dream, he also ignored it. Then when the girl had the same dream the
next night, she woke up and told her mother about the dream. Her mother asked her to wash
the clothes on which there were blood spots. She washed the spots but some remained. Next
night she again had the same dream she again washed the spots but some still remained.
Next night she again had the same dream and this time that fairy gave her last warning to
wash the blood spots, else something terrible will happen. This time the girl tried her best to
wash the spots, the clothes tore, but some spots still remained.

In the evening on same day when she was alone, someone knocked the door, when she
opened the door she saw the fairy at the door. She got very scared and fainted. The fairy
woke her up..., and gave her an object, That awe-struck girl asked "what is this..? to which
the fairy replied :

"kaise bhi daag ho, jaise bhi daag ho........Surf Excel hai na..."

I know what u are feeling now... But don't look for me... I'm searching for the person who
mailed this to me... :)
I know you want to kill me for this!!!
I felt the same!!


:) KEEP SMILING as this is place where emoticons never die