In Dreams

 

By

 

Jan

 

 

Chapter 2

 

 

Nikki visibly cringed as her father continued his verbal onslaught.

 

“And, furthermore, you’ll be bloody lucky if you’re allowed out of this house again before you’re thirtieth birthday!”

 

“Dad, lots of girls at school go to nightclubs,” she protested.

 

“Lots of girls might!” he exclaimed. “But their father’s can worry about them. You’re my daughter, God help me!”

 

She looked at him in amazement. She’d always been good, knuckling down to her schoolwork, doing well in her exams. She’d never caused them any trouble until now. “Well, what’s so great about being your daughter?” she retorted.

 

“Don’t speak to your father like that!” her mother interjected.

 

“I think you’d better go to your room, Nicola,” Bill Wade ordered.

 

“You can’t send me to my room!” she said obstinately. “I’m not a kid…I’m sixteen!”

 

“Whilst you live in my house, you will obey my rules and do as I say!” he snarled. “Go to your room!”

 

Nikki started to object then thought better of it. She flounced out and ran upstairs to her bedroom where she slammed the door.

 

 

She left for school the following morning, ignoring her mother’s attempts at conversation. “I’ll be late back. I’ve got hockey practice,” was all she sullenly said, as she stuffed her games kit into her school bag.

 

At lunchtime, she ate a solitary lunch, staring firmly at the ground in order to avoid eye contact with anyone who might have something unpleasant to say. The sandwich seemed to stick in her throat and, after a couple of bites, she threw it away along with the rest of her packed lunch. She made her way to the library, burying her nose in a book until the bell rang for afternoon lessons.

 

After school, she went into the changing rooms and put on her games kit whilst studiously avoiding looking at any of the other girls who were also in there changing. She picked up a hockey stick from the stand and ran out onto the sports field.

 

As the practice game progressed, it became fairly obvious her presence on the field was being ignored. Well, if the game wouldn’t come to her…She moved in to tackle a member of the opposing team but as she swung her stick to hit the ball someone pushed her from behind. She whirled round and found Tracie eyeing her superciliously. “What the hell are you playing at?” she demanded. “We’re supposed to be on the same side.”

 

“You shouldn’t have got in my way!” Tracie snapped as she ran off.

 

Nikki shook her head and ran to catch up with the game. She went for the ball and saw Meg running in from the opposite direction. Meg’s stick went back but instead of going for the ball she swung her stick hard against Nikki’s shins. A grunt of pain escaped Nikki’s lips and she fell to the ground clutching her injured limb.

 

Meg leant over her, her face contorted with hate. “When will you get the message?” she hissed. “We don’t want a pervert like you near us!”

 

“You don’t have to worry,” Nikki gasped. “I wouldn’t fancy you anyway!” She struggled to her feet and limped her way back to the changing room where she changed quickly, wanting to be out of there before the game finished.

 

Her leg was throbbing and she felt sick as she hobbled out of the school grounds. She was deep in thought and didn’t realise a car had drawn alongside her until a horn blared. She blushed when she realised it was Miss Morgan.

 

Stella pushed open the passenger door and called to her. “Are you alright, Nicola? You’re limping.”

 

“Yes, thanks, miss,” she replied.

 

“Get in and I’ll give you a lift home,” Stella offered.

 

“Thanks, miss, but I can walk.”

 

“Don’t be daft!” she exclaimed. “You’re obviously in pain. Get in!”

 

Nikki reluctantly slid into the passenger seat. She glanced at Stella who was looking at her quizzically.

 

“Are you going to tell me where you live then or shall I guess?” she asked with a teasing smile. Nikki gave her the address. “I know where that is,” she replied. She waited until there was a gap in the traffic and pulled out. “So, what happened with your leg?”

 

“It was an accident, miss,” Nikki said evasively.

 

“What happened?” Stella persisted.

 

“I was clobbered with a hockey stick,” she replied quietly.

 

“On purpose?”

 

“No, miss,” she lied.

 

Stella drew up in front of Nikki’s house. She switched off the engine and turned in her seat to face her. “Nicola, if someone is bullying you, I want to know. You don’t have to put up with it.”

 

“I’m not being bullied, miss,” she said stubbornly. “Thanks for the lift.” She opened the door and was out of the car before Stella could speak.

 

The teacher watched her go then, with a shake of her head, switched on the engine and drove off.

 

Nikki hobbled into the kitchen and found her mother standing at the sink peeling potatoes. “I don’t want any tea. I feel sick.”

 

“Are you limping?” Mary asked with concern.

 

“It’s nothing,” Nikki muttered. “I’m going upstairs to do my homework.” She went up to her bedroom and examined her leg. It hurt like hell and there was already an ugly bruise forming. She didn’t know how much more of this she could stand. All her classmates shunned her…knocked into her whenever they got the chance. Now, Meg’s attack on the hockey field. She sank down onto the edge of the bed and dropped her head into her hands. There was no one she could turn to. Miss Morgan was the only one who was remotely interested but how could she tell her? How could she admit what she was to the woman who – until Kate had come into her life – had filled most of her daydreams? No, she would have to deal with this alone. There were only a few more weeks of the school term left then she would leave. Her dreams of going to university would have to be abandoned but she wouldn’t spend a day longer than she had to in that place. She knew her father would go mad but he wasn’t the one who had to put up with it!

 

“Nicola!” Mary Wade called from the bottom of the stairs. “There’s someone here to see you.”

 

Nikki frowned. She hadn’t a friend in the world, so who could it be? “Coming!” she called back. As she started to descend the stairs, she saw Beth in the hallway. “What do you want?” she demanded.

 

Beth turned and looked at her guiltily. “Can I come up?”

 

“Sure you dare?” she asked sarcastically.

 

“Please, Nikki.”

 

“OK.” She turned and went back upstairs and waited for Beth to join her then led the way into her bedroom. “What are you doing here?”

 

“I saw what Meg did to you at hockey practice. I’m really sorry, Nikki,” she said apologetically. “You know I had nothing to do with it.”

 

“No! You just stood by and watched!” she retorted. “I wouldn’t ever let a friend get hurt if there was something I could do to help them.”

 

“But they would have turned on me, Nikki,” she said defensively.

 

“Well, you make sure you look after number one, Beth!” Came the caustic reply.

 

“Nikki, it’s not like that,” she protested. “I’ve seen the way they’ve treated you.”

 

“You were my friends,” Nikki said accusingly. “You and Tracie and Meg. Why are you all treating me like this? I’ve never touched any of you. I’ve never even thought about you in that way.”

 

Beth turned away. “But I’ve thought about you in that way,” she said softly.

 

“What?” Nikki asked incredulously, then she laughed bitterly. “Oh, I get it. Whatever I say or do now will be all round the school tomorrow. Well, you can forget it, Beth. I’m not playing your little games.”

 

Beth regarded her with a hurt expression. “No, Nikki. I’m not trying to trick you. I…I’m trying to tell you I care about you.”

 

“Oh, piss off!” Nikki retorted. “I’m not stupid.”

 

“Nikki!” Beth touched her arm only to be shrugged off. “Please, Nikki.”

 

“You just won’t take ‘no’ for an answer will you?” she exclaimed. She grabbed hold of the nape of Beth’s neck and took her mouth in a clumsy kiss then roughly pushed her away. “Now, go and tell everyone that Nikki Wade attacked you!” she hissed. She looked at Beth in horror as tears formed in the other girl’s eyes and she was filled with remorse. Beth hadn’t done anything to hurt her, not really. “I’m sorry,” she murmured. She watched with growing dread as Beth put her fingers to her lips but she said nothing and silently walked from the room. Nikki slapped herself hard on the forehead. Now she really had gone and done it!    

 

 

Ros was stretched out on the settee, her head on Stella’s lap. “Penny for them,” she said softly, as she saw the faraway look on her partner’s face.

 

“I think Nicola Wade is being bullied,” Stella told her worriedly. “I gave her a lift home earlier. The poor kid could hardly walk. Said she’d been accidentally clobbered with a hockey stick.”       

 

Ros sat up and swung her feet to the floor. “I thought you were going to stay out of it,” she said accusingly. “The kid has parents. Let them deal with it.”

 

“And what does she tell them?” Stella snapped. “Mum…Dad, I’m being bullied because I’m a lesbian.”

 

“She is not your problem, Stella,” Ros said forcibly.

 

“I’m a teacher, Ros,” she retorted. “Nicola is a pupil at my school and she is in one of my classes but I would feel the same about any child that is being bullied.”

 

“Would you really?” Ros replied with a hint of accusation in her voice.

 

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

 

“It means, I’m getting sick of hearing about this kid!” she exclaimed. “You’ve got a bloody fixation with her! What is it? Do you fancy her?”

 

Stella laughed incredulously. “You’re talking utter crap! I’m more than twice her age. In fact, I’m old enough to be her mother!”

 

“That’s just it though, Stella,” she said quietly. “You’re not her mother.” She stood up abruptly. “I’ll be in the darkroom…if you want me.”

 

Stella watched her go. Ros wasn’t given to moods but when did succumb she found it better to leave her alone. How could she think she was interested in a schoolgirl? Her face softened as she thought about Nikki. She was quiet, obviously intelligent – although she did under-utilise the brains she had been given – and, she had to admit, very pretty! She couldn’t remember how many times she had looked at the girl in class and found her brown eyes fixed on her intently but she had always turned quickly away, blushing at being found out. Ros was right. Getting involved with Nicola Wade in anything but a professional capacity was suicide. She was thirty-three years old and should know better. Not only her career but her relationship was at stake and she couldn’t imagine her life without Ros in it. She stood up. She needed reassurance and she needed to reassure. Maybe this was the one time when she wouldn’t leave Ros to get over her mood alone.

 

 

Nikki was idly wandering around town the following Saturday morning, glancing into shop windows as she passed. She didn’t enjoy shopping but it was preferable to being at home. As it was, it had taken all her powers of persuasion for her dad to let her out of the house. Even then, he wanted to know where she was going, who with and what time she would be back.

 

“Hi, Nikki.” Someone spoke and touched her arm as she passed them.

 

She stiffened and turned to face the speaker. It was Beth! She’d seen her around school since the incident in her bedroom but there hadn’t been any repercussions. Could it be that she hadn’t said anything to anyone? She looked around expecting to see Tracie and Meg but Beth appeared to be alone.

 

“How have you been?” Beth asked, giving her a friendly smile.

 

“Where are they hiding?” Nikki demanded then as Beth looked at her quizzically continued, “Tracie and Meg?”

 

“I’m not with anyone.” She started to walk off but Nikki grabbed hold of her arm.

 

“Beth, wait. Why didn’t you tell anyone at school what happened? I mean, I’m glad you didn’t,” she said quickly. “But why didn’t you?”

 

“I told you I wasn’t trying to trick you.” She smiled shyly. “Do you fancy getting a Coke?”

 

Nikki took a sip of her Coke and regarded Beth through narrowed eyes. They had found this little café down a side street and although it was a busy Saturday morning, there was only an elderly couple sitting at another table. “What would you have done if I told them at school you made a pass at me?” she asked suddenly, keeping her voice low.

 

“But you didn’t.”

 

“I might have done. The heat would have been off me then. They only know what Tracie told them and she could have been lying.”

 

“And was she?”

 

Nikki looked at her a long time before replying. “No, she wasn’t,” she said resignedly. “So, now you know.”

 

“Now I know,” Beth repeated. She smiled nervously, looking at Nikki with adoring eyes. “Would you go out with me one night?” she asked softly.

 

“Do you mean a ‘date’?” Nikki gasped.

 

“Not really…I mean, we could just go to the pictures or for a walk,” she gabbled, then she saw the way Nikki was grinning at her. “Yes, a ‘date’.”

 

“I don’t know.” She studied Beth closely. She’d never noticed before but she was really pretty. Her dark hair had a centre parting and fell loosely around her shoulders. One of her front teeth was slightly crooked but was only noticeable when she smiled – which she did often – and her blue eyes sparkled, especially when she looked at Nikki. “OK, then. Why not?” she agreed. She heard Beth’s sigh of relief and smiled happily at her.

 

They caught the bus home, dashing to the top deck and collapsing with laughter onto the back seat. As Nikki looked through the window, she felt Beth’s hand slide into hers. She turned and looked at her, fearful of being spotted by the other passengers but Beth just smiled and drew her hand down until it rested on the seat between them. A strategically placed jacket across her knee completed the cover up.

 

As they neared Nikki’s stop, she felt Beth’s hand tighten. “Come back with me for your tea,” Nikki invited.

 

“What about your mother?” Beth asked uncertainly.

 

“Mum won’t mind. They’re going out tonight anyway. Please,” she begged. Beth smiled and she felt her stomach flip over. Why had she never noticed how pretty Beth was?

 

 

“Wash or wipe?” Nikki demanded holding up a tea towel in one hand and the dish mop in the other.

 

Beth grimaced. “Not much of a choice is it? I’ll wipe.” She took the tea towel from Nikki and leant against the draining board watching her wash the dishes. As Nikki handed her a plate their eyes met and they smiled shyly at each other. Nikki looked around her surreptitiously then swiftly bent her head and pressed her mouth against Beth’s. They drew apart guiltily as Mary Wade bustled into the kitchen.

 

“Are you sure you’re going to be alright, Nicola?” she asked with concern.

 

“Stop worrying, mum. I’ll be OK.” She glanced at Beth, who was looking at her with some amusement, and pulled a face at her. “We’ll do these, watch TV then I’ll walk back with Beth.”

 

“Well, make sure you lock the door when you go out,” Mary ordered.

 

Nikki tutted. “Yes, mum. See you later. She must think I’m thick,” she grumbled when her mother had left the kitchen. ‘Lock the door when you go out’!” she muttered, mocking her mother.

 

“Oh, Nikki, you do make me laugh,” Beth said adoringly.

 

“Do I now?” Nikki teased and flicked her wet fingers at her, showering her with water.

 

Beth shrieked and slapped Nikki across the rear with the tea towel.

 

“Right, that does it!” Nikki threatened. She wrung out the dish mop and chased Beth around the kitchen with it.

 

“Nicola, stop squealing and mucking around!” her mother called from the hallway.

 

Nikki grimaced and put her finger to her lips but as she moved back to the sink, the tea towel once more snaked across her backside. “You are asking for trouble,” she hissed. “Wait until they’ve gone out.” She was taken aback by the suggestive look Beth gave her and coughed nervously.

 

They finished the dishes just as Mary called out that they were leaving. Nikki listened until she heard the front door slam then reached out and caught hold of Beth’s hand. Their fingers linked as they moved together, dropping shy, inexperienced kisses onto each other’s lips. “Let’s go into the other room,” she whispered.

 

In the lounge, she sank down into an armchair and drew Beth onto her lap. Full lips opened under hers and she felt Beth’s tongue, soft and probing. She ran her hand down to the front of Beth’s blouse, cupping the gentle swell of her breasts. They drew apart breathlessly and sat wrapped in each other’s arms before Beth broke the silence.

 

“Nikki, that woman in the club, did you…?”

 

She nodded. “Have you ever…?”

 

“Yes, last year when we were on holiday in Majorca. She was German and we were staying at the same hotel.” She looked at Nikki and grinned. “Mum and dad nearly caught us one afternoon. She had to hide under the bed until they went out again.” They laughed together then Beth’s face became serious and she stroked Nikki’s cheek lovingly. “But she was nothing like you.” She bent her head and kissed her, her kisses becoming hot and urgent. “Let’s go to bed,” she said softly.

 

Nikki felt her stomach lurch at the thought, but as usual her heart said one thing and her mouth said another. “Beth, I think we ought to wait.”

 

Beth frowned at her. “For what?”

 

“Well, it’s just, I…I…,” she stammered. “I don’t know what to do,” she finished lamely.

 

Beth stood up and held out her hand. “We can learn together!”

 

 

They walked the two miles to Beth’s home laughing and joking and totally at ease in each other’s company, lingering outside the gate, reluctant to part.

 

“Did you remember to lock the door?” Beth asked her teasingly.

 

“Ask me if I care if I didn’t,” Nikki retaliated, unconcerned. “I want to kiss you,” she muttered out of the corner of her mouth.

 

Beth looked up at her. “I want you to kiss me,” she muttered back.

 

“Shall we shock everybody and do it here?” Nikki suggested. They both looked around at the well-populated, well-lit street then laughed at each other. “Better not, eh? I’ll get off then.”

 

“OK. I’ll see you at school.” Beth watched as she started to walk away. “Nikki.”

 

“What?” Nikki turned and looked at her.

 

“You were great,” she said softly.

 

Nikki gave her a cheeky grin. “So were you.”

    

    

On to Chapter 3

 

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