In Dreams

 

By

 

Jan

 

 

Chapter 1

 

 

“Nicola, are you up yet?” Mary Wade called upstairs for the umpteenth time.

 

Fifteen-year-old Nicola sighed deeply. In her mind she’d just got to the part where Rhett said to Scarlett ‘Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn’. Only she was Rhett and Miss Morgan was Scarlett. She’d also been Romeo to Miss Morgan’s Juliet and Mr Rochester to Miss Morgan’s Jane Eyre.

 

“Nicola, I won’t call you again!”

 

There is a God then, Nicola thought. “I’m in the bathroom,” she called back.

 

“You’ll be late for school.”

 

She dried her face hurriedly. It wouldn’t do to be late today. She had Miss Morgan for English first two periods. In her bedroom she pulled on her school uniform…navy skirt, white shirt and navy sweater. How she hated it and couldn’t wait until she got back home again so she could change into her faded denims. She pulled a brush through her long black hair, draped her tie around her neck and ran downstairs, taking the last four steps in one jump.

 

In the kitchen she gulped down a glass of orange juice and grabbed a piece of toast before picking up her school bag.

 

“Nicola…”

 

“Mum, how many times do I have to tell you? My name is ‘Nikki’. ‘Nicola’ makes me sound like a school kid.”

 

“That’s because you are a school kid,” her mother told her flippantly. “But if it makes you feel any better…Nikki, stop bolting your breakfast or you’ll get indigestion.”

 

“I’ll be late for school.”

 

“Which I’ve been telling you for the last…” she stopped in mid-sentence as the front door slammed. “And good-bye to you too, Nicola.”

 

Nikki ran down the street and stopped outside the very last house waiting for her best friend, Tracie Jackson to come out. The front door opened and Tracie emerged. She was a good head shorter than Nikki - who was the tallest girl in their class – with a mane of unruly auburn hair.

 

“Hiya,” she said as she reached Nikki.

 

“Hiya, Trace. Have you done your history homework?”

 

“Why have you?”

 

Nikki shook her head, unconcerned. “I thought I’d do it at break.”

 

“Have you decided what you’re going to do for your birthday, Nik?”

 

“We could go to the pictures,” Nikki suggested.

 

Tracie wrinkled her nose in disgust. “There’s a new club opened in town. We could get Beth and Meg and go there.”

 

“My dad wouldn’t let me go to a club,” Nikki admitted.

 

“He wouldn’t know. We could all say we were staying with each other.”

 

They heard the school bell and started to run. As they pounded down the corridor the Head Teacher came out of his office. “Stop running you two and Nicola Wade fasten your tie.”

 

The two friends slowed to a walk. Nikki handed her school bag to Tracie and fastened her tie, leaving the knot about two inches from her neckline.

 

Apart from Miss Morgan’s classes the morning dragged. Miss Morgan had caught her staring into space and asked her a question about the lesson. Since she had been playing the balcony scene in her head where she was Romeo and Miss Morgan was Juliet, she was forced to admit she hadn’t been listening. Although taken aback by her honesty, Miss Morgan had told her to write out one hundred times ‘I must pay attention in class’.

    

In the school playground Nikki took her lunch box out of her school bag, opened the lid and grimaced at its contents. Ham sandwiches again, plain crisps and an apple.

 

Tracie plonked down on the wall beside her and took out her own lunch box. “Cheese,” she announced. “Want to swap?” They exchanged lunch boxes and happily ate each other’s lunch.

 

“Have you thought anymore about the club?” Tracie asked as they ate.

 

“I’ll go but if my dad finds out he’ll kill me.”

 

“You won’t be able to wear your jeans, Nik,” Tracie replied. She knew her best friend didn’t have any dress sense. “Can’t you ask your mum to buy you a dress for your birthday?”

 

“A frock!” Nikki exclaimed. “It’s bad enough having to wear this thing for school,” she indicated her skirt.

 

“Nikki, you’re pretty and you’ve got a really good figure,” she said casting an envious eye over Nikki’s breasts, which were already twice the size of her own. “You know Will in 6A fancies you something rotten.”

 

A picture of Miss Morgan formed in Nikki’s mind and she blushed furiously. “Yeah, well I’m not interested,” then added quickly as Tracie gave her a curious look, “Time enough for that when I’ve finished my exams.”

 

 

Nikki surveyed herself in the mirror. The smart black trousers and turquoise silk shirt she was wearing were birthday presents from her mum and dad. She smiled ruefully. Not Tracie’s cup of tea perhaps but definitely better than a frock! Gone was the long black hair. She’d called in at the hairdressers on her way home from school and had it cut into a short boyish style. Her mother had gone ballistic threatening to commit murder. Eventually she’d calmed down then her dad had started when he came in from work. She’d had to wheedle and plead to be allowed to go out. It was her sixteenth birthday after all.

 

She ran downstairs and poked her head through the lounge door. “I’m going.”

 

“Have a good time,” her mother called out from the kitchen.

 

“Don’t forget. Last bus and no later,” her dad ordered.

 

“Alright, Dad, but don’t forget I’m staying at Meg’s. See you tomorrow.” She dashed out of the house and reached the end of the street just as Tracie came out of her house.

 

“Your hair makes you look older,” Tracie told her approvingly. The bus came into view and they broke into a run.

 

 

Nikki clutched at the sink in the ‘Ladies’. She didn’t know what she had been drinking but she wished someone would stop the room from spinning.

 

“Are you alright, love?” a voice spoke behind her.

 

She shook her head. The action made her stomach lurch violently. She felt an arm slide around her shoulders, supportive, comforting. “Breathe deeply,” the voice ordered.

 

She did as she was bid and her stomach started to settle down. She straightened and looked in the mirror. Her face was as white as a sheet then through the mirror her eyes met those of her comforter. She blushed and looked away too embarrassed to make contact with the startling blue eyes of the woman holding her.

 

“Not used to it, are you, love?” the woman teased and Nikki turned to her questioningly. “Drink, I mean.”

 

Nikki smiled shyly. “Not really but it’s my birthday and I guess I’ve done too much celebrating.”

 

“Well, happy birthday…”

 

“Nikki.”

 

“Nikki,” the woman repeated with a smile. “I’m Kate. Are you here with anyone? Boyfriend?”

 

“No, no boyfriend.”

 

“Girlfriend, then?”

 

Nikki felt herself blushing. “Yes…no…I’m mean, I’m here with some friends who are girls. They’re waiting for me outside.”

 

“I’d better let you go then, Nikki,” Kate said softly then her lips lightly brushed Nikki’s. “Enjoy the rest of your birthday.”

 

Nikki swallowed hard. Her heart was pounding and her body felt feverish. She made no move to leave and just kept staring into Kate’s eyes. Kate smiled at her knowingly but as she leaned in to kiss her someone came in and she pulled away quickly. They waited until one of the cubicle doors had closed then Kate took her by the hand and drew her into an empty cubicle.

 

Nikki felt her head begin to spin as their lips met. She felt Kate’s tongue pushing against her lips and opened her mouth. A soft moan escaped the back of her throat as their tongues caressed. She put her arms around the woman clumsily. Christ! She’d never kissed a boy, never felt the urge, and now she knew why! She felt Kate’s hands on her trousers, unfastening the button, slowly drawing down the zip and then… her head almost exploded as Kate’s fingers slid inside her. She started to gasp for breath, her body began to tremble and her legs felt too weak to support her weight. “Oh, shit!” she gasped and pressed her mouth hard against Kate to stop herself crying out.

 

Kate cradled her, until her body stopped shaking. “Happy birthday, Nikki,” she whispered and kissed her gently.

 

Nikki blushed. “Do you want me to…you know…to you?”

 

“Do you want to?”

 

She nodded shyly and Kate took her hand. “Come on then, but not here. We’ll go back to my place.”

 

“I…er…it’s just that…I…er,” Nikki stammered. “M…my dad thinks I’m staying at a friend’s house.”

 

Kate released her hand and looked at her quizzically. “How old are you, Nikki?”

 

“Sixteen…today.”

 

“Oh, fucking hell!” Kate said harshly. “Shit, Nikki! I thought you were older than that. You look it.”

 

“It doesn’t matter. I’m old enough.”

 

“But only just. I have a daughter only a couple of years younger than you. I’m sorry, Nikki, this shouldn’t have happened.” She drew back the bolt on the cubicle door and slipped out.

 

“Kate, wait!” Nikki hurried out of the cubicle after her and met Tracie’s accusing eyes. She looked on helplessly as Kate disappeared through the door. Her first instinct was to chase after the woman who had just made all her fantasies come true but Tracie was her best friend and had been since they were both five years old.

 

“Nikki, what were you doing in there with that woman?” Tracie demanded.

 

“I…I wasn’t feeling very well. She was looking after me.” Nikki watched as Tracie’s face ran the whole gamut of emotions…curiosity, surprise, anger and then finally, as the truth dawned, disgust.

 

“Nikki, you were doing it with that woman in there!” she spat incredulously. “Your trousers are undone.”

 

“Tracie, I wasn’t. I’ve just been to the loo. You’ve got to believe me.” She looked at her best friend pleadingly.

 

“You’ve stayed at our house. You’ve slept with me in my bed and all the time you’re a filthy lesbo,” Tracie exclaimed. “That’s why you’re not interested in Will. You’re disgusting! Don’t call for me anymore, I don’t want to be friends with you or they’ll think I’m like you!”

 

Nikki grabbed hold of her arm but Tracie shook her hand off. “Don’t touch me, you dyke!” she yelled.

 

“Tracie, you’re my best friend,” Nikki said tearfully.

 

“Not anymore!” Came the harsh reply. “Stay away from me, perv!”

 

As she emerged from the toilets, she saw Tracie, Meg and Beth huddled in corner and judging by the looks on all their faces when they saw her Tracie had told them about her. She looked swiftly round the club hoping to catch a glimpse of Kate but even if she was still there she couldn’t find her in the crush. Checking her watch she saw that her last bus would have gone by now so she went out of the club and to the taxi rank.

 

She let herself quietly into the house and crept upstairs to her bedroom. Her mind raced as still fully dressed she curled up in a ball on her bed. She couldn’t get the woman, Kate, out of her head. In those few minutes all her schoolgirl daydreams had come true but how long before Tracie turned it into her worst nightmare?

 

    

Nikki walked to school alone on Monday morning. She had seen Tracie over the weekend but she had totally ignored her. For the first time in ages she didn’t want to go to Miss Morgan’s lessons. It was her pervy thoughts about the teacher that had got her into this mess.

 

She went into her classroom. A blanket of silence descended upon the room then someone sniggered. She walked straight to her desk unable to meet anyone’s eyes. As she sat down she looked up at the blackboard. ‘Wade is a dirty dyke’ was chalked across it in large letters. She felt tears prick the back of her eyes. The nightmare had already begun!

 

Stella Morgan entered the classroom suspiciously. It was surprisingly quiet for a Monday morning when everyone was usually catching up on what they had been doing over the weekend. She glanced quickly around the room. “’Morning, everyone.”

 

“’Morning, miss,” they all chorused.

 

As she placed her bag on the desk, her eyes lighted on the blackboard. So, that was it! She picked up the blackboard rubber and obliterated the graffiti with a few brisk strokes. “OK then, turn to page ninety in your textbooks.” As the lesson progressed she kept a surreptitious eye on Nicola Wade. She had often wondered about her. She was a very pretty girl who had an air of aloofness about her and only seemed comfortable in the company of Tracie Jackson but the two were now sitting at opposite ends of the classroom. The adoring looks she used to give her when she was teaching her class hadn’t gone unnoticed either but she had been a teacher for almost ten years and schoolgirl crushes came with the territory.

 

The bell rang signalling the end of the lesson and the classroom erupted as books were put away, desk lids slammed, chairs scraped on the tiled floor. “Keep the noise down,” Stella’s voice rose to make herself heard. As the pupils filed out, pushing and shoving, Stella sought out Nikki. She was the last to leave and Stella called to her gently. “Can I have a word, Nicola?”

 

Nikki reluctantly came over to the teacher’s desk. “Miss?” she muttered softly.

 

“Are you alright?” Stella asked kindly. 

 

“Yes, miss. Can I go now, please?”

 

“In a minute.” She smiled encouragingly at Nikki. “If ever you need to talk to anyone, Nicola, you know where to find me.”

 

“Thank you, miss, but there’s nothing to talk about,” Nikki replied stubbornly.

 

“Would you like me to speak to your parents?”

 

Nikki’s head shot up in alarm. “No! Please, don’t tell my parents.”

 

“Alright, I won’t,” Stella assured her. “But remember, you don’t have to face this alone.”

 

Nikki nodded. “Can I go now, please, miss?”

 

“Of course.” Stella watched sadly as the teenager left the classroom. She knew what the girl was going through because she’d been in the same position herself twenty years ago. She drew up the sleeve of her blouse and surveyed the scars on her wrist. These were her painful reminders of the humiliation she had been subjected to her by her peers…her so-called friends! It would take all the girl’s strength of character to play the cards, fate had so callously dealt her and she didn’t envy her one bit.

 

 

Nikki hurried through the school grounds and out of the front gate, acutely aware of the glances and sniggers aimed at her back. She let herself in the back door and called out as she tossed her school bag into a corner. “Mum, I’m home!”

 

“In here, Nicola,” her mother called back from the lounge.

 

Nikki dashed in to her mother. “What’s for tea? I’m starv…” The words died on her lips. Tracie and her mother were sitting side by side on the settee. Three pairs of eyes turned on her accusingly. She looked from one face to the other, wishing the ground would open up beneath her feet and swallow her.

 

“You have some explaining to do, lady!” Mary Wade said angrily.

 

Nikki felt her colour start to rise. “E…explaining?” she stammered.

 

“Your dad and I trusted you, Nicola. You said you were going to the cinema. Now, I find out you went to a nightclub!” Her mother spat out the word ‘nightclub’ as if it were a den of iniquity.

 

The brown eyes closed momentarily. She could almost have wept with relief and a faint smile touched her lips, unfortunately it didn’t go unnoticed by her eagle-eyed mother.

 

“Let’s see if you think you’ve got something to smile about when your father gets home!” Mary exclaimed, glaring at her. “Do you know what happens to young girls in places like that?”

 

Nikki looked at her innocently. Oh, she knew only too well what could happen to a young girl in a place like that!

 

“I think you owe Mrs Jackson an apology,” her mother was saying. “For leading Tracie astray!”

 

“But I didn’t!” she retorted. She looked at her friend…former friend. A faint smile played around Tracie’s mouth and she knew then, that if she didn’t accept responsibility for the night out, then Tracie would shop her! “Sorry, Mrs Jackson,” she muttered apologetically.

 

“You do realise,” Beryl Jackson spoke for the first time. “That I can’t allow Tracie to associate with Nicola anymore.”

 

“Don’t worry, mum, I won’t,” Tracie piped up, an angelic look on her face.

 

“Of course, I understand that,” Mary Wade agreed. “Although, Nicola won’t be going out for quite a while.”

 

Nikki looked at Tracie distastefully. I hope your bloody halo chokes you, she thought to herself. “I’ve got some of your things upstairs. Do you want to come and get them?”

 

The two girls went up to Nikki’s bedroom. As the door closed behind them, Nikki grabbed hold of Tracie’s arm and slammed her against the wall. “What the hell are you playing at, Trace?” she demanded. “You know it wasn’t my idea to go to that club. How did your mother find out anyway?”

 

“We were seen coming out of the club by one of my mother’s friends,” Tracie replied.

 

“But I wasn’t with you then. Why did you have to drag me into it?”

 

“I told her you’d gone to look for a taxi or would you rather I’d told her you’d gone off with your girlfriend?” she sneered.

 

“I didn’t go off with anyone. I came straight home.” Her eyes narrowed angrily. “Why did you spread those lies about me at school?”

 

“They’re not lies, Nikki!” Tracie retorted. “I know what I saw.”

 

“You saw jack-shit!” Nikki hissed. “And you can’t prove a thing.”

 

“I don’t have to prove it, everyone believes me anyway,” she said smugly.

 

“You said yourself, what if everyone thinks you’re the same as me?” she asked sardonically.

 

“They won’t. You see, I have a date with Will in 6A on Friday night.” She smiled maliciously. “Maybe you should have gone out with him when you had the chance, Nikki, and proved you weren’t a lesbo.”

 

Nikki laughed bitterly. “I don’t have to prove anything to anyone except myself.” She picked up a couple of tapes from beside her stereo and held them out to Tracie. “These are yours. If I find anything else I’ll let you have it.”

 

Tracie wordlessly took the tapes from her and went out of the room.

 

Nikki sighed. Now all she had to face was her dad’s bollocking when he came home from work!

 

 

Stella tossed her jacket over the back of an armchair and ran her fingers through her tight brown curls. “Ros, are you in?” she called at the bottom of the stairs.

 

“I’m in the darkroom,” a muffled voice called back. “Be down in a mo.” Ros, her partner of eleven years, was a freelance photographer and, apart from when she had to go on photo shoots, worked mainly from home. One of the spare bedrooms had been turned into a fully equipped darkroom and this was where she spent most of her day.

 

She went into the kitchen and, after checking there was water in the kettle, switched it on. It was just boiling when Ros came into the kitchen. Ros was tall and slender and her silky blonde hair was caught back into a severe ponytail.

 

“Good day?” she asked as she kissed Stella’s cheek.

 

“God, you stink!” Stella retorted.

 

“Spilt some fixer on me,” she explained. “Sorry, I meant to start the meal but I got caught up. I hadn’t realised it was so late.”

 

“Don’t worry about it,” Stella smiled. “We can have a take-away and a bottle of wine later, if you like.”

 

“Suits me,” Ros replied agreeably. She regarded her partner intently. “What’s up? You look a bit stressed.”

 

“Do you remember me telling you about one of my students…Nicola Wade?”

 

“The one who fancies you? Your golden girl?” Ros teased.

 

“Don’t! The poor kid was in a state today. Someone had written on the blackboard ‘Wade is a dirty dyke’.”

 

“And do you think she is?”

 

“That’s hardly the point, Ros,” she said impatiently. “Can you imagine what it must be like for her? Sixteen years old and outed in front of all your classmates.”

 

Ros placed her hands on Stella’s waist and drew her close. “Love, we’ve all been there. You’re letting this Nicola become a bit of an obsession with you, don’t you think? Stell, you have a duty to all the kids in your class not just one. If you want my advice – and you probably don’t – stay out of it.”

 

“I suppose you’re right,” she agreed reluctantly.

 

“Howsabout you come into the darkroom with me and we’ll see what develops?” Ros raised her eyebrows suggestively.

 

Stella groaned. “Do you know how many times I’ve heard that joke?”

 

“I know, but it still works doesn’t it?” Ros asked with a smile.

 

Stella nodded and allowed herself to be led upstairs.

 

 

Nikki lay on her bed, listening in trepidation for her dad’s key in the lock. She wasn’t looking forward to her confrontation with him. He worked long hours in his job as an accountant at a big engineering works and just lately he always seemed to be tired and short-tempered.

 

She let her mind drift back to the night at the club and to Kate. She felt little pinpricks of heat on her face as she remembered Kate’s lips on hers and her hands…! Her stomach lurched violently and she knew it wasn’t because she had been sent to her room without any tea. She placed her hand between her legs and squeezed her thighs tightly together as she tried to stop the waves of longing for Kate’s hands to touch her again that were coursing through her body.

 

She must have nodded off for the next thing she knew her mother was calling to her.

 

“Nicola, can you come downstairs, please?”

 

 

On to Chapter 2

 

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