Chapter 9
Helen
drained the last of the vodka into her glass then put the bottle down with a
thump. ‘Shit’, she muttered. There wasn’t even enough drink in the house for her
to get well and truly pissed and blot out the last 24 hours. The answerphone
switched on. She leaned forward as a familiar…once beloved…voice spoke.
“Helen,
it’s me. If you’re there please pick up the phone. I need to talk to you. I
need to explain.”
“Piss
off, Nikki!” she said out loud.
Almost
as if her words had been heard the phone went dead.
“Bastard!”
Nikki yelled as her phone card ran out. She hurried back to her cell where she
found Barbara Hunt sitting on her bunk reading. “I don’t fucking believe it!”
She exploded. “I finally got through to Helen and my bastard phone card ran
out. Have you got one I can borrow?”
Barbara
glared at Nikki as she removed her spectacles. “If you would care to repeat
that, leaving out the expletives, I’ll see if I can help.”
“Sorry,
Babs,” Nikki apologised. She didn’t usually swear in front of her cellmate
because she knew she didn’t approve but she was totally pissed off. “I was on
the phone to Helen, well leaving a message on her answerphone, and my phone
card ran out. Do you have one I can borrow, please?”
“That’s
better. In the locker.” Nikki retrieved the phone card and yelled her thanks as
she left the cell. Barbara smiled knowingly and went back to her reading.
Again
the answerphone switched on. “Helen, it’s Nikki. Sorry about before but my
phone card ran out.” Helen choked back a sob. She didn’t know how much more of
this she could take. She got up and went into the bathroom slamming the door
behind her.
Nikki
replaced the receiver satisfied she had done all she could to make amends to
Helen. She had told her everything, about the scene in the potting shed and why
she’d done it and most of all she told her how much she loved her.
The
fire alarm was ringing. Helen ran to Nikki’s cell and tried to let her out but
she couldn’t find her keys. They stood on opposite sides of the locked door.
“Save yourself, Helen!” Nikki screamed. “I’ll never leave you, Nikki. I love
you too much,” Helen told her. They stood holding hands through the hatch as
the flames licked nearer engulfing them both. Helen woke with a start. Jesus
what a dream! Larkhall had burned down with everyone in it. Including her.
Bloody good thing too, she thought. She shook her head. The fire alarm was
still ringing. Then she realised it was the doorbell. Why won’t everyone just
leave me alone?
She
went out into the hallway and opened the door. Her heart sank. It was Joan
Wade. Why did she have to look so much like Nikki?
“Helen,
are you alright?” Joan asked solicitously. “We’ve been so worried. Nikki said
she couldn’t get through to you.”
“Do
not say that woman’s name to me.”
“Nik…she
said you’d had a row and left Larkhall.”
“I
don’t want to talk about it, Joan. I don’t want to hear anything about her and I’d rather you left.” She
started to close the door but Joan put out a restraining hand.
“I’m
not going until I find out what’s happened,” she said stubbornly.
“Alright,”
Helen moved to one side to allow her to enter. “But you won’t be very pleased
about what I have to say.” In the sitting room Helen turned to face Joan with
an expression of stone.
“May
I sit down?”
“If
you want,” Helen said begrudgingly. She waited until Joan was seated on the
sofa, then sank into an armchair opposite.
“What’s
happened, Helen?” Joan asked kindly. “You were so full of it at the weekend.”
“Well,
I went back to Larkhall and reality,” she replied bitterly.
“You
didn’t tell Nikki about your new job and the appeal, did you?”
“I
didn’t get a chance. She was making plans of her own.”
“I
don’t understand.”
“Then
I’ll tell you about your precious daughter!” she spat. “Because I
couldn’t…wouldn’t have sex with her she found someone else who would!”
Joan
looked shocked. “Helen, Nikki wouldn’t do that. You only have to look at her to
see how much she cares about you.”
“Oh,
but she would because I found them together.”
“You’d
better tell me everything because something’s not quite right here.”
Helen
told her everything, virtually verbatim. Let her see what her daughter was
really like.
“I
can’t believe Nikki could be so cold and calculating,” Joan said when Helen had
finished her story. “She was so honourable…so honest when she was a child.”
“Well,
now she’s just a horny dyke who can’t keep her hands to herself.” Helen felt a
sense of satisfaction when she saw Joan recoil at her words. If someone was
going to hurt then she wasn’t going to be the only one.
“What
about the appeal?”
“I
think you know the answer to that one already, Joan. Nikki can rot in jail for
all I care!”
“I
don’t believe you mean that, Helen. I can’t believe you’re selfish enough to
put your own needs before Nikki’s.”
“She
did, “ Helen said simply.
Joan’s
own anger surfaced. “So you’re prepared to let her spend another ten years in
jail out of spite?”
“I
hope they lose the key to her cell.”
“I
really liked you, Helen. I thought you were the closest thing I would ever get
to a daughter-in-law.”
Helen
looked at her sharply, tears forming in her eyes. “I think you’d better go,”
she said softly.
“I
think I’d better,” Joan agreed. “Don’t get up I’ll see myself out.”
After
she’d gone Helen went to the answerphone. It showed she had two messages. Her finger
hovered over the play button then she stabbed at erase. If only it could be so
easy to erase Nikki Wade out of her life. She dropped her head into her hands
and wept bitterly.
“Have
you spoken to Helen?” Nikki asked hopefully when she rang her mother later that
day.
“I
went to see her,” Joan replied coolly. “You’ve hurt her very badly, Nikki. How
could you do it?”
“It
didn’t mean anything…” Nikki began.
“And
that makes it alright does it?” Joan demanded angrily.
“You
don’t understand.”
“Then
why don’t you enlighten me, Nikki.
Nikki
proceeded to tell her version of what had happened. “How could you have been so
stupid?” Joan exclaimed when Nikki had ‘enlightened’ her.
“I
know, I realise that now but I left a message on Helen’s answerphone and told
her everything. Things will be OK once she listens to it.”
“I
hope so, Nikki.” Joan replaced the receiver with a deep sigh, her heart aching
for the daughter she had been separated from so long.