Chapter 10
Helen
woke with a start. These days she was a light sleeper and seemed to hear every
little sound. Bloody hell! She groaned as she heard the rattle of milk crates. She
turned over and tried to go back to sleep but as soon as oblivion threatened to
claim her, her thoughts turned to Nikki. She thumped her pillow angrily. Did
the bloody woman have to fill all her waking, and sometimes sleeping, moments?
At least next week, when she started her new job, she would have something else
to occupy her mind.
She
climbed out of bed and touched her toes a couple of times. Sod it! She thought
stripping off her nightie. I’ll just get fat and old and then no bugger will
want me. She shivered involuntarily as a blast of cold air hit her naked body
and realised she had left the bedroom window open all night.
After
a shower that both warmed and refreshed her she felt almost human again. As she
was making a pot of coffee the telephone rang. For the first couple of weeks
after she left Larkhall Nikki had called her at least twice a day so she had
taken to leaving the answerphone on permanently in order to screen her calls.
“Helen,
I know you’re there so pick up the bloody phone.” It was Beverley one of her
closest friends.
Helen
picked up the receiver. “Hiya, Bev,” she said cheerfully.
“When
are you going to stop all this cloak and dagger nonsense? It’s bloody annoying
to have to go through the answerphone every time.” Beverley demanded in her
usual no-nonsense manner.
“You
know I can’t risk Nikki getting through.”
“Why?
Would it be so terrible to actually hear what she has to say?”
“I
just don’t want to talk to her…ever.”
“Ever
is a long time, Helen. Anyway, getting back to why I called you. How do you
fancy a girls’ night out?”
“Not
that much actually,” she answered truthfully.
“Don’t
be an old misery guts. It’s ages since we went out on the pull. Might stop you
thinking about the terrible Ms Wade. Go on,” she coaxed.
“Alright
then,” Helen agreed reluctantly. “But
I’m not doing any pulling.”
“I’ll
do enough for both of us then,” Beverley laughed dirtily.
“Don’t
you always? Are you going to come round here and we’ll get a cab into town?”
“OK.
I’ll see you about seven-thirty. ‘Bye.”
“See
you later.” Helen smiled as she replaced the receiver. Maybe a good night out
was what she needed and Beverley’s infectious humour always cheered her up.
Beverley
was punctual as usual. Helen glanced at her hair in the hall mirror as she passed
and opened the front door. “Hiya, Stewart.” Beverley breezed in looking
drop-dead gorgeous. Long blond hair cascading to her waist. “All dressed up and
raring to go?”
“As
raring as I’ll ever be,” Helen muttered closing the door. “I’ll just put some
lipstick on. Do you want a drink before we go out? There’s a bottle of wine in
the fridge.”
“Might
as well get a head start,” Beverley said as she headed for the kitchen. As she
returned, carrying two glasses of wine, the telephone rang.
“Will
you get that, Bev?” Helen called from the bedroom. “I think the tape has run
out.”
“I’m
surprised it’s not worn out from overuse,” Beverley observed sarcastically as
she picked up the receiver. “Hello.”
“Helen,
thank god! Please don’t put the phone down.”
“It’s
not Helen.” She glanced up as Helen came out of the bedroom, a look of alarm on
her face. “May I ask who’s calling?”
“It’s
Nikki.”
“Nikki.”
Beverley repeated for Helen’s benefit.
Helen
shook her head.
“Sorry,
Nikki. Helen’s not here at the moment. Can I take a message or get her to call
you?”
“No,
forget it. Thanks anyway.”
The
phone went dead and Beverley replaced the receiver thoughtfully. She turned and
looked at Helen. “Sexy voice.”
“She’s
got the body to go with it,” Helen said softly.
“Then
why didn’t you speak to her?”
“I’ve
told you why. Now are we going out or what?”
“Are
you having a good time?” Beverley yelled over the noise of the music.
“Fantastic,”
Helen lied. After four double vodkas and tonics all she had was a pounding
headache.
Beverley
grabbed Helen’s hand and dragged her onto the dance floor. Helen danced
half-heartedly until a slow number came on and Beverley moved into the arms of
a man dancing next to her. Helen stood there feeling like a spare what’s-it at
a wedding. As she started to leave the dance floor she felt someone catch hold
of her arm. She whirled round and found herself staring into a pair of
startling blue eyes. The rest of him wasn’t bad either.
“Come
and dance with me,” the man invited and pulled her into his arms before she had
time to refuse.
As
they danced she felt herself start to relax. She needed to be held. Nikki’s had
been the last arms to hold her and she missed her so much.
“Steve,”
she heart him say against her hair. She pulled her head back and looked up at
him. “What?”
“I
said my name is Steve.”
“Oh,
right. Helen.” Before she realised what he was doing he bent his head and
captured her mouth. The kiss wasn’t unpleasant but as she felt herself starting
to respond her thoughts turned to Nikki. With an exasperated ‘No’ she dragged
herself away and headed for the ‘Ladies’ where she leaned her head against the
wall sobbing as if her heart would break.
“Helen,”
Beverley said softly behind her. “I saw what happened. Are you alright?”
Helen
turned into Beverley’s comforting embrace. “Bev, I’m so in love with that
bloody woman I don’t know what I’m going to do without her.”
“Why
don’t you go and see her?”
“I
can’t. She’s found someone else. She doesn’t want me.”
“You
can’t be sure of that.”
“I’m
not prepared to take the chance. I’ll get over her eventually.”
“Come
on, let’s go home. I’ve had enough and I’m sure you have. Maybe we should have
gone to a gay bar,” Beverley suggested.
“What
the hell for? I don’t want just any woman. I don’t even want a man. I want
Nikki.”
The
following morning Helen emerged from the bedroom rubbing her temple. She
staggered into the kitchen to find Beverley seated at the table drinking a
glass of orange juice.
“’Morning,
love,” Beverley greeted her brightly.
Helen
glared at her. She hated her for being so cheerful when she felt like shit. “My
mouth feels like the bottom of a parrot’s cage,” she muttered. “Must be all the
crap I talked last night. Remind me not to get pissed again, it makes me
maudlin.” She took a bottle of mineral water out of the refrigerator and drank
half of it in one swallow.
“I’ve
been thinking, Helen. Why don’t you come and stay at my place?” Beverley
offered. “You jump every time the phone rings. You’ll be a nervous wreck if you
carry on like you are. You can stay as long as you want. What do you think?”
Helen
nodded. “It makes sense. There are too many memories here. I may even sell it
and buy myself a house. At least at your place I won’t be plagued with unwanted
phone calls.”
“That’s
something else I was thinking about.”
“You’ll
be doing yourself a bloody mischief with all this thinking,” Helen observed
sarcastically.
Beverley
stuck her tongue out at her. “If Nikki doesn’t love you anymore and she has
found someone else, why does she keep ringing you?”
“Oh,
I don’t know, Bev,” Helen replied impatiently. “And I don’t care.” She drank
the remainder of the water. “I’m going to have a shower, pack my bags and then
we are out of here.”
“Right,”
Beverley said when they were ready. “Have you cancelled the milk, papers and
turned off the gas?”
“I
don’t have milk and papers delivered and I’m all electric, as you well know.”
“Come
on then, Stewart. Let’s be off.”
Helen
looked around checking she had not forgotten anything. “There is just one thing
I have to do.” She went over to the answerphone and pulled out the plug.
“Do
you think that’s a good idea?”
“I
should have done it days ago. Now, let’s get this lot stowed in the car. Do you
fancy going shopping? I could do with a new suit for next week.” As she locked
the front door she heard the telephone start to ring. Sod it! She thought
irritably. She unlocked the door, had second thoughts and re-locked it. And sod
you Nikki Wade!