Chapter 11
Nikki
replaced the receiver dismally. When she called Helen last night a strange
woman had answered, now the phone was just ringing, even the answerphone didn’t
kick in. She walked slowly back to her cell. Maybe it was time she forgot about
Helen. It had been almost three weeks and she hadn’t heard a word from her.
“No
joy?” Barbara asked as she entered the cell but knew the answer when she saw
the look on Nikki’s face.
“Mail
call, ladies,” Di Barker announced as she bustled in. “One each for you today.”
Nikki
grabbed her letter with a muttered ‘thanks, miss’ but her anticipation turned
to disappointment when she recognised her mother’s handwriting.
“Do
I take it that’s not from Helen?” Barbara enquired after Di had left the cell.
Nikki
shook her head. “I don’t know why I thought it would be after all these weeks.
It’s from my mother.”
“I’m
so sorry, Nikki love.” She indicated the letter, still unopened in Nikki’s
hand. “Perhaps your mother has some news about her.”
She
opened the envelope and quickly read through the letter. “She says she hasn’t
heard anything from Helen and has been to see a solicitor about my appeal.
That’s it basically.”
“Don’t
give up on Helen, Nikki.”
“Well,
I think she gave up on me a long time ago. In fact, I don’t think she ever
cared about me at all. I did all the pushing and she just went along with it
for a laugh. I can just imagine her sitting in the pub with her posh mates.”
She put on a broad Scottish accent. “Do ye ken, lassies, I’ve got the wing dyke
hanging onto my every word.”
Barbara
stifled a smile. “Stop being a bloody drama queen!”
“And
stop swearing, it doesn’t become you.” Nikki’s face broke into a grin.
“Helen
did love you, Nikki.”
“She
never said it.”
“Nikki,
they are the easiest three words to say and the hardest to mean. Think about
the things she did, not the things she said. She trusted you enough to put you
on enhanced. She got you onto the Open University course. If you ask me,
everything she did for you proves how much she loves you.”
“It
would have been nice to hear it just once.”
“Why?
To boost your ego?”
“So
I knew she wasn’t just taking the piss.”
“Use
your head, Nikki,” Barbara said impatiently. “If she was just taking the…what
you said…would she have responded to your advances so readily? She could have
got into a lot of trouble. Would it have been worth it just to have a laugh at
your expense? If you made advances towards me…alright, I know you wouldn’t
touch me with a cattle prod…or anyone else who wasn’t interested for that
matter, I can assure you, you would have had your face slapped or at least a
good telling off.”
”Sorry
for being a pain, Barbara.”
“If
you can’t be a pain with a friend who can you be a pain with?” She touched
Nikki’s hand gently. “Just don’t give up. If you two are meant to be together,
everything will work out.”
“And
if we aren’t meant to be together, everything won’t work out. Is that how fate
works?” Nikki snapped sarcastically. “I hear what you’re saying, Barbara, but
Helen has moved on with her life and I think it’s time I moved on with mine,”
she said sadly. “I just wish I didn’t miss her so much.” As she started to
leave the cell she turned with a smile on her face. “Don’t worry, Babs. Karen
Betts is safe. I haven’t got a thing about Wing Governors.”
Nikki
wandered round the wing. She was bored, even reading held few attractions for
her these days. She couldn’t concentrate long enough because her thoughts
always turned to Helen. She lit a cigarette and stood watching two of the girls
playing pool. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Shell Dockley and Denny
Blood with their heads together. Shell whispered something to Denny and they
both threw their heads back laughing.
“’Ere,
Nikki. You must be feelin’ frustrated, wot wiv Stewart not bein’ ‘ere and you
not gettin’ any.”
“Piss
off, Dockley!” Came Nikki’s stock reply.
“You
should ‘ave set your sights lower and gone for one of us lesser mortals. At
least you would have known where we was going to be for the next twenty years.
Stewart’ll probably be married wiv a houseful of kids by then. Fink about it,
Nikki. A man touchin’ ‘er where you’ve touched ‘er.” Dockley started to laugh
hysterically just as Nikki finally saw red and launched herself at her. They
fell to the floor, arms flailing and fingers scratching to shouts of
encouragement from a quickly gathering crowd of inmates.
The
revelry was short-lived as four burley officers elbowed their way through the crowd
and dragged the brawling women apart.
“Take
them both down to the block,” Hollamby ordered waddling up.
“I’ll
kill you, Dockley!” Nikki spat struggling to break free.
“Yeah,
well, you’ve got to get to me first, Wade,” Dockley sneered.
Nikki
struggled and yelled abuse at her captors as they followed Hollamby’s orders.
They pushed her inside one of the bare cells and locked the door. She rubbed
her aching arms, softly cursing under her breath.
“Now,
where was I before I was so rudely interrupted?” Dockley’s dulcet tones echoed
down the corridor. “Oh, yeah. Don’t bear finkin’ about, Nikki. Some man
touchin’ ‘er where you’ve touched ‘er. Kissin’ ‘er.” She laughed evilly.
“Puttin’ ‘is prick where you’ve ‘ad your mouth.”
Nikki
sank to her knees and clamped her hands over her ears in an effort to shut out
Dockley’s tirade of filth as huge sobs shook her slender shoulders. Dockley was
right, when she got out of Larkhall Helen would probably be married with kids.
Just because they’d had a relationship…relationship, a few kisses and a fumble
was all it amounted to…didn’t mean Helen would be attracted to another woman.
She probably would settle down to a ‘normal’ family life and in Helen’s book
that was a husband and kids.
She
lay down on the cold bare floor and curled up into a ball. If she had to face a
future without Helen Stewart in it, she didn’t care if she ever got out of
Larkhall!