Chapter 8
Later
that day, Nikki paced up and down her cell as she always did when she was
agitated. Her heart was heavy. There had been no word from Helen. On top of
that she’d given Sally her last packet of cigarettes.
Her
door was flung rudely open. “Come on, Wade. Stewart wants to see you,” Fenner
snarled.
“Why
don’t you try knocking, Fenner?”
Fenner
leaned in towards her. “The only knocking I’ll be doing, Wade, is your block
off your shoulders. Now move!”
For
once Nikki did as she was bid. The longer she stood arguing with Fenner, the
longer it would take her to get to Helen.
“Wade,
Miss.” Fenner let Nikki into Helen’s office giving her a sly smirk as she
passed him.
Fuck
off, Fenner, she mouthed.
“You’ll
get yours, Wade, and sooner than you think,” he muttered then closed the door.
“Sit
down,” Helen said without looking up.
“Helen…”
“Do
not speak until I tell you to,
Nikki!” She looked up at Nikki with pure hatred in her eyes. “Now, sit!”
Nikki
sat down. Helen was so cold the last few weeks between them might never have
happened.
“Helen…”
Nikki tried again.
“What
did I just say?” Helen could hardly speak for the fury in her voice.
“Why
don’t you just let me explain?”
“I
don’t want explanations I just want a straight…maybe that’s the wrong word to
use where you’re concerned, “Helen said distastefully. Nikki felt as if she had
been slapped but Helen continued mercilessly. “I want an honest answer…are you
and Sally having an affair?”
It
was on the tip of Nikki’s tongue to make a full confession but she couldn’t let
Helen give up everything for her. Not without a fight anyway. “You saw us,
didn’t you?”
“How
long has it been going on?”
“A
few days.”
“After
I told you I wouldn’t have sex with you?” Helen was going to tear every
heart-rending word out of her.
“I
suppose so.”
“Is
that all you were after, Nikki, a quick shag?”
Nikki
looked her straight in the eyes then turned away unable to bear the contempt
she saw there. “I haven’t had sex for almost eighteen months, so yes maybe
that’s all it was.”
“You
said you loved me.”
Nikki’s
heart felt as if it had been ripped out. She closed her eyes and took a deep
breath before continuing. “Oh, come on, Helen. How many times have you heard a
man use that line to get what he wanted? A dyke’s only a man with tits after
all. You’re a beautiful woman and I only go for the best but if you can’t get
the best, well, I get plenty of offers in here.”
“Why
did I never see before just what a cold-hearted bitch you are?” Helen said
bluntly.
“Well,
they do say love is blind, Helen?” Nikki didn’t know how long she could keep us
this couldn’t-care-less attitude.
“Yes,
they do but no more, Nikki. Now get out and I hope hell freezes over before I
have to see your face again!”
Nikki
shrugged and swaggered out.
Helen’s
face crumbled and huge tears spilled down her cheeks. She loved Nikki…had loved
Nikki with all her heart and was prepared to give up everything for her but she
obviously didn’t feel the same and it had all been an act to get what she
wanted. At least now she could leave Larkhall with no regrets. She dried her
eyes, picked up the telephone and dialled Stubberfield’s extension. “Simon,
it’s Helen, I need to see you urgently. It’s about my resignation.”
Nikki
went back to her cell. She was beginning to have second thoughts about what she
was doing but she knew it wasn’t time to be faint-hearted. She couldn’t let
Helen give up the job she loved because of her. Time enough for explanations
when Helen withdrew her notice.
The
following morning the wing was a hive of activity. Stubberfield had called a
meeting of all G-Wing inmates and staff. He waited until all the noise had died
down before making his announcement. “Miss Stewart has resigned as governor of
G-Wing and has asked to be released from her contract early on compassionate
grounds. Consequently Principal Officer Fenner will take over as acting
governor until Miss Stewart’s replacement takes up her post. I trust you will
all give him the assistance you gave Miss Stewart. Thank you.”
Nikki
watched Stubberfield leave in disbelief. This wasn’t the way it was supposed to
happen. She had played the scene over in her head. Helen would withdraw her
notice then she, Nikki, would tell her it had all been an act and then they’d
kiss and make up. Now, it would have been easier if she had just let Helen
resign at least they wouldn’t have parted on bad terms.
She
went over to Dominic McAllister. He might know something he always seemed to be
hanging around Helen when she was down on the wing. “Mr McAllister, do you know
why Miss Stewart left so suddenly?”
“Sorry,
Nikki. She handed in her notice and left without a word. She may have been ill,
she looked a bit rough when I saw her go. Anything I can do?” he offered
helpfully.
“No,
it’s alright thanks.” Nikki looked around her helplessly. She had to contact
Helen and make things right with her.
Periodically
throughout the day she rang Helen’s number only to hear the busy signal. She
didn’t know who else to contact. She knew nothing of Helen’s life and friends
outside Larkhall, except for wimpy ex-fiance Sean and she didn’t think she
would have gone to him. Maybe Helen had said something to her mother over the
weekend. She went into her cell, found out her mother’s telephone number then
went to join the telephone queue. When it was her turn she slipped in her phone
card and dialled her mother’s number.
“It’s
Nikki,” she said simply when her mother answered her call.
“Nikki,
what a lovely surprise.” Joan sounded genuinely happy to hear from her. “How
are you?”
“I’m
fine thanks,” she answered impatiently. She didn’t have time for small talk.
“Have you heard anything from Helen?”
“Not
since the weekend. I tried calling her last night but I only got her
answerphone. Is something wrong?”
“Helen’s
resigned. We had a row and now she’s gone and her phone is ringing engaged the whole
time.” Nikki choked back a sob relieved that she had someone to talk to.
“A
row? I don’t understand. Didn’t she tell you about the appeal and her new job?”
“What
appeal and what new job?” Nikki’s voice rose angrily. What the bloody hell was
going on?
“Helen
has been head-hunted for a new job, a very good job. She decided she was going
to take it then she could help me with your appeal. Didn’t she speak to you
about any of this?”
“She
told me she had plans that included me then someone said she was resigning.”
Nikki gabbled. “I thought it was because of me. I didn’t give her a chance to
explain. I’ve really fucked up this time, haven’t I?”
The
Joan of old would have taken Nikki to task about her language but her daughter
was obviously suffering enough without a lecture from her. “Leave it with me,
Nikki, I’ll see what I can find out. Call me later if you get the chance.”
“Thanks.
I really do appreciate it. Bye.”
“Bye,
Nikki.”